It's been a while since i've written. That to is part of prison life. You go through so many mood swings, for me I find that I usually push people away or withdrawl into myself. Things here are the same and getting worse. Here they have short officers so we have not had phsical activity except once for an hour, in a week or more. Seems like no one cares to stay here , the job sucks and the pay as well.
My life has gotten better since my last. My childhood love,sissy has started to write again. I have always loved her. But things always happened that lead our lives apart. I think of the love I have for her and always smile. She has always deserved so much better than I could offer but our love for each other has always been there and she seems to always pop up when I need her. Camela and I are still in touch from time to time when she chooses to write. She wants somethings that I have already had enough of in my life. I will always love her and her daughter being a part of it. But she and I remain friends. My parole date is this October for #10. Maybe I will make this one.
I have written some of the representitives about the congressional talks on prison reform and the need for programs. For those of us housed in the high security facilities most like myself were placed there not for an act commited. but simply for being a member of what the administration claims to be a disruptive group. For over 12 years I have been housed in an isolation cell and have been denied parole 9 times. I have 19.5 years flat on a 25 year sentance nonA99, so I often question the logic and thinking of the parole system, here in Texas. Am I to do the remainder of the 25 years with a total of 18 years in isolation? Then released back into society with no consideration for my mental diagnosis? No pre-release programs? Where is the logic in not helping the offenders in the most need? Those most likley to reoffend simply because they were members of a disruptive group or housed in segregation. Myself I have never associated outside of Texas prision walls. inside it's about survival it's a completley different setting. Society does not see enough of what happens inside to understand. I've saught every way that I can on my own to gather needed info or websites that will help me. But the fact remains those in isolation need info, basic computer knowledge, cell phone as well as where to turn for help. As I've mentioned in past blogs the first 90 days is the time most important and should be the focus on any help given. To give them a better than zero chance of choosing the correct path; that will lead waay from the mistakes of the past. I have little faith that the parole board will give me the chance this time because I am an outspoken voice against the real and wrong views and the lies passed about the criminal justice failure.
My father nad step-mom have offered their homes as a safe enviorment for me to come to. I assure you that they are strict and will accept no crap from me.The problem is the lack of funding, th elack of programs, as well as the staff and updated parole consideration system it is not applied fair. You have violent offenders who make parole before a nonviolent offender and similiar falures. I hope one day society will wake up and realize the ones most in need are who need the help or the cycle will continue.

peace and love,
Johnnie