July 4, 2013

Gems

From The Uncommon Criminal by Kyle De Wolf (author's profile)

Transcription

May 31, 2013

GEMS
Kyle De Wolf

I'm tired of hearing old crabs whine about the banality of Twitter. If I had a Twitter account, my tweets would be literary gems. I could write haikus, or make wry observations about human nature. My tweets would enrich and ennoble your day, and keep you up to date with the latest news about Ri-Ri, Miley, and Taylor!

I decided to drink fewer Coke Zeros, but I can't stand water. Water tastes like shit. (Yes, I have tasted shit, but I will not tell you under what circumstances; suffice it to say thatit seemed like a good idea at the time, and surprisingly tasted a lot better than water). I place to drink more tea. A case of Coke Zero costs me $4.80, or 48 cents a can. A box of tea bags costs me $1.85 with 48 bags I think that should work out to about 8 cents a cup. I only make $2 a month and some change, so I have to count my pennies with care.

My celly, a conservative Republican, used to rag on me about the "collective community of do-gooders". When I get out of prison I would like to start an intentional community. Just imagine a big mansion, surrounded by luscious gardens, and a beautiful young nymphs frolicking in the pool, splashing each other with water, and in front a sign with big, gothic letters: "The Collective Community of Do-Gooders". Isn't it beautiful.

I would like to recommend the collective do-gooders of Berkeley, Ca., who publish a free newspaper called Slingshot. I found two websites listed in the newspaper. One is slingshot.tao.ca and the other is www.longhaul.org. The articles are outstanding, and you couldn't beat the price, unless they paid you to read it.

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CJP Posted 6 years, 7 months ago. ✓ Mailed 6 years, 7 months ago   Favorite
Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post.

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