Aug. 8, 2011

Gaelic, AK's and Virgins

From The Uncommon Criminal by Kyle De Wolf (author's profile)


Friday, July 22, 2011 Gaelic

Today I got three boks from the public library: _Understanding_Physics_,
by Isaac Asimov; _Nemesis_, by Isaac Asimov; and _Beginners_Gaelic_, by James
McLaren. I just noticed that Mr. Asimov had mutton chops. Didn't he look
stylish?He reminds me of The rent Is Too Damn High candidate. I have no
platform, but vote for me! I've got mutton chops! I look like a 19th
century Prussian general, and that spells _leadership_!

Gaelic is a nice militant language. It's a great language for hating
imperialism, Protestantism, and sobriety in general. I play a lot of Irish
folk songs on my mandolin and I'd like to know how to say the titles. I'm
sorry that other people can't keep up with my philological interests. All
I can say is that you must live in a very dull world.

I've been called "pompous" and "high & mighty" because I don't think I'm
better than anybody else and I always defend my belief in equality. I cut
my teeth on Aristotle's logic a few years ago and now I'm struggling with
this concept. Does my leveling spirit make me seem arrogant? Must one
look down his nose at others in order to be truly humble? By insisting
that all men are equal, am I exalting myself above the rest of humanity?
I'm a little confused.

326 Days

Saturday, July 23, 2011 AKS AND VIRGINS

I got to fire an AK-47 in Iraq. They're supposed to be rugged weapons.
You could bury one in the mud for years and it would still fire. This makes
it a favorite among freedom fighters all over the world. They've got a
nasty kick though. They butt stock jumped up and punched me in the face.
I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. I guess your marksman has to
get to be a little bit rugged too.

I preferred my M-4. It's smaller than an M-16 which makes it easier to
wield, like carrying a dagger instead of a broadsword. They're deadly
accurate and easy to handle. They're great for small guys like me and
freedom fighters who have been starved by UN sanctions for years. They
are a bitch to maintain though. You've got to clean them 5 times a day,
facing Mecca, or else they'll misfire. But it gives you something to do
while you're chanting your Allahu Akbars.

So what's the deal with the 72 virgins? I combed through the Holy Qur'an
one day but I couldn't find any mention of 72 virgins. It spoke of
"companions" but it did not clarify whether they be female, or virgins, or
72 in number, or that you could even have sex with them. I felt cheated.
Where does Allah promise anybody 72 virgins that you can deflower in
Paradise? Please tell me this isn't just Western propaganda. I'd be crushed.

325 Days

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Yesterday I signed up for Music Theory 2, Guitar 2, and Violin. Mandolin is
out because it conflicts with Guitar 2 and I've already taken it 3 times.
Rob may be disappointed. Banjo is out because Keith will not be holding
the class next quarter. He will be giving a Cello class instead. The Fiddle
will round out my bluegrass repertoire. One day I will be a great street
musician and people will crowd around by the dozens just to hear me play.
Taylor Swift will fall in love with me and I'll tell her no, my heart is
already taken, but she'll give me spare change anyway because she's a princess
and she has a generous soul. Sigh.

Sometimes people call me a bastard, but at least I know who my father is,
which is more than a lot of people can say these days. It occurred to me
that my writing may be tedious and strident. I will work on my style.
I just need more practice. I didn't blog a lot on the street. I wish I could
have one of those Kindles and an MP3 player. The prison officials would
probably censor our content, but they could make a lot of money selling
stuff like that.

Maybe I'm the only one, but I think Miley Cyrus is sweet, and funny, and
pretty, and a good singer, and she inspires me. I took up music because of
"The Clint." It brought tears to my eyes when I first heard it. Miley Cyrus
made me love life. The sound of her voice makes me feel warm and fuzzy
inside. When I was in the county lock up and I was very sad and distraught
I used to look at her picture and drift off thinking of a girl I once
hew.... She reminds me of her. Now I hate it when prudes call her a slut
and complain about her wardrobe and her behavior. Slut is a bad word and
I don't like hearing it. It's degradingn to libidinous women, and those
are the best kind. We should all be so lucky as to have such a woman in our
lives. They're the salt of the earth. Miley is cool. She's a free spirit.
Her fashion sense is excellent. She hasn't done anything I didn't do and I
was a virgin until I was 23. I don't like Puritans and I'm still mad about
what they did to Hester Flynn. I also hate it when I mention that I like
a female singer and all I get from my interlocutor is a snide dismissal and
commentary about her looks. That's just sexist. Beauty is, as they say,
in the eye of the beholder, but if I told you I happen to like Bob Dylan,
would you then say, "oh well I don't think he's even very good-looking"?
Why should a woman be reduced to her role as eye-candy for men? Miley is
gorgeous anyway. I can only think of one woman I like better, but nobody
could compete with her. She was both my femme fatale and my joie de vivre,
a name I hold sacred. All the women in the world would have to take second
place to her. But Miley and Taylor soothe the anger and the hurt.

Monday, July 25, 2011 COOPERATION

It started raining and it cooled down to a much more humane temperature.
The old heads complain that there is no good music out there today. This is
the eternal lament of the older generation. Old men forget how much classic
rock was reviled in the halcyon days of its youth. Sneering at the younger
generation is the first sign of an aging mind. Radio and television are
increasingly dominated by a few media conglomerates though. You hear a very
limited selection. MTV has no respect for its viewers' intelligence. I
still find good music though.

Capitalism is a desert. It lays waste and destroys everything it touches.
When I get out of here I'm going to work for the Catholic Worker Movement.
There are some liberals who have a very paternalistic ethos. They want the
government to take care of the people. It is very oppressive when you employ
coercion to forcibly take care of people when they'd rather be left alone.
Conservatives whine that liberals think that people are too stupid to take
care of themselves. In reality most conservatives think people are stupid
and have nothing but contempt for the masses. They don't actually believe
that people are smart enough of responsible enough to take care of themselves.
They just have a more social-Darwinist ethos. Let the stupid people kill
themselves off and only the smart people will survive. The smart people are
rich and poor people are stupid. If you keep feeding the poor they'll just
keep reproducing more stupid people.

What we need is a more cooperative ethos. People need to work together for
the common good. Every man, woman, and child should have a say in the
governance of affairs, and a right to dissent from the majority. While
protesting the conservative dream of forcing every man to pull himself up
by his own bootstraps and cut the social safety net out from under him, we
need to let the poor be the protagonists in the struggle for change rather
than just passive recipients of aid. The left is not an exercise in altruism
for the rich; it is an exercise in pride and self-interest for the poor.
Working together to benefit all is better than scratching and gouging
each other's eyes in a dog-eat-dog world. It is also better than lining
up for a handout from people who secretly wish you were dead.


Replies (3) Replies feed

denise Posted 8 years, 3 months ago. ✓ Mailed 8 years, 2 months ago   Favorite
So many people think that working together for the common good means you can harm another person if it will help the majority. But I heard that Heaven's inhabitants rejoice over the saving of one soul. I don't think any soul lost is acceptable. If all God's messengers felt the same, it would be a great world to live in. You can't influence the majority if you don't hold the message in your own heart.

denise Posted 8 years, 3 months ago. ✓ Mailed 8 years, 2 months ago   Favorite
I was browsing at the library the other day. I felt a sense of dismay - I wished I were Spock. How am I going to learn everything I want to? It will take so many lifetimes.

denise Posted 8 years, 3 months ago. ✓ Mailed 8 years, 2 months ago   Favorite
I truly believe with every ounce of my being that if anybody accomplishes that task of accumulating all knowledge, it will be you, Kyle.

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