October 10, 2011
GOVERNMENT AS PARENTING
Kyle de Wolf
I was always told that conservatives
believe in small government, personal freedom,
and strict adherence to the constitution.
In my observation that is a bold-faced lie!
I read an article many years ago,
which at the time I thought was bullshit,
just a bunch of meaningless psychobabble.
Now I think it has the ring of truth!
Liberals and conservatives share a mutual affection
for the institutions of big government
profoundly distrust the free choices of free people
and share a mutual disregard for the letter
and the spirit of the Constitution.
They just have a difference conception
of government's parental rule!
Liberals view the government
more like a nurturing mother.
She's always loving and affirming
she's always there to take care of us
and protect us from harm
Conservatives view the government
more like a stern patriarchal father
He'd rather throw us in the pool
to sink or swim on our own
but he is always standing over us
ready to kick our asses if we fuck up
or just don't do what he says.
This makes a little more sense to me
in view of the facts.
For example, a liberal pundit recently suggested
that we need to be protected from big, bad corporations
who want to sell kids violent video games
so he is like an overly protective mother.
But if your kid went out and hurt somebody
the conservatives would lock him up and throw away the key
put him in some dark dungeon to be tortured mercilessly
or try to kill him despite evidence
that he may be innocent after all.
So which is worse? An overbearing mother
or a sadistic, heartless father?
As an adult I think we want to be independent
free to make our own choices, good or bad,
free to govern our own lives and suffer the consequences.
I don't think we want a nurturing mother
to smother us all our lives with love and affection
protecting us from our own will and desires.
Yet I don't think we want a stern father
to rule over us either
ready to pounce on us or kick our ass
at any moment.
Part of growing up is leaving home
and leaving the parents behind.
Yes, we often need to work together,
but let's do so as adults,
not children who must be led by the hand.
Yes, we should help people in need,
but let's show them some respect
and not treat them like naughty children.
Above all, let us realize that government
is not your mommy or your daddy
but a bunch of liars, crooks, and thieves
who make a living by murdering others
and preying on society.
I remember when I was a young boy
my parents asked a man to babysit us.
He put my brother and me to bed early
putting on his best parental air.
Then he made off with our VCR and TV.
He was never seen or heard from again.
That is what the government is like.
The government will put you to bed early,
like any good parent,
and make off with your VCR and TV.
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