May 18, 2017

Journal entry 4-29-17

From Soul Survivor 79 by Jeremiah Ray Bond (author's profile)

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Journal Entry (4-29-17)

Thursday evening at mail call I received a note from Christina—not an all out letter. She asked me not to send anymore correspondences to her address and to send them to my blog site. She claimed that this would kill two birds with one stone. Basically, I take it as pushing me away and sending me a passive "fuck you." Maybe I am wrong? Maybe not.

I do not believe she'll ever visit again. Her letters slowed and slacked in the past few months.

All of that is expected. No one sticks by me for long—except James A. Tucker, Esq, of ADAP in Tuscaloosa, AL. James has been there for me—and countless others—since 1994 (when we first met).

Christina has truly hurt my feelings and upset me. But what else can I do? Let her go. And if it is meant to be—friendship, companionship, love—she'll come back. If absence makes the heart grow fonder...

On Tuesday 25 at approximately 8 AM, I went to accelerated learning class. Being one of the first through the chapel door, I searched the bookshelves for any good books. I found a K-5, red-lettered of the Holy Bible, leather-bound with stitching around it, engraved 3:16 verse from book of John on back. It, along with a few Spanish versions, were sill in the plastic wrap. Mine! And a Spanish one for Talabera! And I got a couple others—Chicken Noodle Soup for the Prisoner's Soul was one.

Around 9 AM, when coffee was passed out, Chaplin David checked out what I had from the shelves. He was curious as to what that Bible was doing on the shelf and told me it. Wasn't supposed to be there. I offered to give it back if it was a mistake. He told me to go ahead and keep it.

Later in the day, around 2 PM, I caught him in the dorm and thanked him for letting me have the new Bible. He told me I took it, but that was all right. That he is glad that I liked it.

He basically had a jackass attitude about it—body language, attitude, facial expressions—and, worst of all, he basically accused me of stealing it (took it).

I really wanted to hand it to him and tell him how I felt—God's word is in my heart anyway, so I on't need your extensively mistranslated collection of books that are incomplete in so many ways anyway, so stick it on your forehead!—and walk off. Personally, I sense Chaplin David is not "feeling me" anyway. He tolerates me and allows me to reside in his New Beginning program dorm, seeing that I am not at all as aggressive, angry, mean, hateful, destructive, as I was a few years ago (my whole life up to a few years ago); and that I fair better and stay out of trouble more living here.

This dorm isn't what it was one year ago. The whole atmosphere, the morals, values, ethics, and more have deteriorated and lowered. He'd trip out to see for himself all the people dressed in drag walking around at night (6 PM - 7 AM) and over the weekends. To see all the horseplay without consequences; to hear all the profanity; all the drug deals; and the syringes and drugs used daily and nightly; all the sexual acting out.

Maybe I will leave the blog and this site up (my part of the site). But I will not waste postage on it. One or two posts per month. That's it. Maybe no one is writing in belief that someone else already is. No one is. Maybe no one sends me any books or stamps for some reason. Hey! No one has.

Jeremiah Ray Bond
AIS# 236828x
WEDCF
100 Warrior Lane
Bessemer, AL 35023

If anyone would like to help me financially, the website is: www.inmatedeposits.com

Also, if anyone would like to order an incentive package for me: www. alabamapackages.com or call 1-800-546-6283 during normal business hours (M-F: 8:30 AM-11:00 PM, Weekends: 11:00 AM-5:00 PM). There are four packages available per year through Access Secure Pack: Q1, Q2, Q3, Q4. Two are food (summer and Christmas) and two are clothing, electronics (radio, headsets, calculators), and hygiene!

I'm about to call Christina and check on the status of us. I'm so used to this shit by now that I will simply stay, be calm, cool, and appropriate, not angry and irate. What I say has far and deep reaching implications and consequences. Now I know. Now, 33 years too late, judging from my first major incident in preschool when I was four years old.

9:38 AM. My shift is over at 10:00 AM. I am the ADA (Assistant Department Head) for the library.

Did call Christina. No answer! :(

Confused,
[signature]

P.S. I am reading Oxford Dictionary of Psychology, 3rd edition (2009). Wow!

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