March 13, 2021

This is My Story

From Dances With Thugs by Joseph Dickey (author's profile)


This Is My Story

After years of posting on here and telling bits and pieces of my story, I have decided to tell the entire story without ignoring the proverbial "Elephant in the room." For me to get to the point of where I can share my entire story has been a long personal battle that has taken years. Let me explain.

Even as I am about to write this, I hesitate and stare at the blank piece of paper. Should I really say this? My God, who might read this?, etc... Then I realize it is like the drug addict who is doing drugs and thinks no one knows. Everyone already knew, but I was always too ashamed to admit it. I go. I am gay. OK...some of you are probably thinking: What is the big deal? Well, it is a huge deal where I come from and how I was raised.

I was raised in Alabama as a Southern Baptist. Basically, the racist Bible belt. The best way to describe the environment I grew up in is to imagine you are raised where everyone was a member of the KKK. You all wear hoods and you hear the "N-word" every day. The preacher tells you "N's" are an abomination to God and being a "N" is the worst sin anyone could commit. "N's" are going to burn in hell. Your family and friends call black people "N's" behind their backs and you are expected to feel the same way they do. Now, imagine living in this environment, yet every night you take off your hood and look in the mirror and see you are black. Oh, my God, you are a "N." Well, that was my life except that instead of the "N" word, it was Fag or Queer. My "hood" was the lie I lived. I was miserable and so unhappy, yet I pretended to be this good Christian, straight man who had yet to find a suitable Christian woman to marry. In other words...I wore my "hood" and kept my secret.

I spent most of my life working with children in some form or fashion. It was not because I am some kind of pedophile, as the government has tried to paint me to be, it was because I am a sensitive, nurturing person and I also loved working with my co-workers. Some of the best people I have ever met have been teachers. Many of them were like family to me. So when I turned 30, I realized I most likely would never get married and have a family like normal men do, so I decided to adopt.

After the adoption of my son in 1999, I became a huge adoption advocate. I had no idea that I could love and care about another human being as much as I did my son. Heck, even as I write this, my eyes are starting to mist over. Even today, I still view my 24-year-old son as my baby. I felt like I left so many children behind when I brought my son home from Russia. I thought I could save the world, or at least save a few more. I wrote my story and it was published in a national magazine called "Adoption Today." My local paper (The Tuscaloosa News) did a story on me and it was on the front page. I was also on local TV and radio stations. I was trying to bring awareness to Russian orphans and my story was interesting because I was a single man and I ran the University of Alabama's campus child care. I had numerous people contact me after these public appearances. I had several women contact me to see if I was interested in marriage. One even asked if I could father a child because she wanted biological children. Public exposure brings out the psychos...a fact I would soon see destroy my entire life.


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