Between the Bars: Comments on 'Your Still On My Mind Daily'https://betweenthebars.org/posts/commentfeed/277362019-08-29T19:49:50ZComment2019-08-29T19:49:50Zyouknowho/people/show/23192tag:betweenthebars.org,2019-08-29:/posts/27736/your-still-on-my-mind-daily/comments
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<a href='/people/show/23192'>youknowho</a>
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<span class='comment-date'>Posted 4 years, 7 months ago.</span>
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I hope all is well, Herd. Life has been one hell of a roller coaster the last 8 months but the last couple weeks I hit the lowest I have ever been and tonight I ran into the devil that destroyed me, and he reminded me that I was still an ugly, fat, piece of shit, and I believed him, on my way home I lost it, and i planned how i was going to do it, I got home left a note for my father and told my dogs I loved them but it was for the best, I took my pistol and Ieft, I drove to the woods and got out i sat on the ground holding my gun and told myself that this is what I needed to do, all I could hear was his voice telling me I will never be good enough for anyone, no one will ever love me, I had no reason to be alive... it was time, I put the gun to my head, took a deep breath and pulled the trigger. And nothing happend. For some crazy reason my gun malfunctioned and it saved my life. I have never been so scared in my life, what was I doing, how could I let him get in my head like that, I am stronger than that. I sat there shaking scared and alone, no one to go to. And you wanna know where I went Herd? I went to your blog, and it was everything I needed to hear at that time. I wish that I could see you, and see that smile. I miss you. I just need you to keep writing. I need you to tell me you are ok and that everything will be ok in the end. I hope to see something soon. xo you know who
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