This conversation is part two of a series of documentary styled inquiry and surveying
of how a new generation of condemned youth gauge the state of the struggle.
survey by: Xzyzst
Responses by: Piankhi
The Dialogue Key: Page:
1. The Tone 1 of 9
2. lil Nigga Nextdoor 1 of 9
3. The Harriet Tubman Effect 2 of 9
4. Civil Unrest of 1992 3 of 9
5. Destroying Their Own Communities 4 of 9
6. Our Version of Reality 5 of 9
7. Super Bowl - Academy Awards - The Grammy's 6 of 9
8. Gamer Boyz 6 of 9
9. Mental Health and Black Boys 7 of 9
10. Stuck in Play Mode 8 of 9
11. #NGR 9 of 9
Location: San Quentin State Prisson
Unit Bast (East?) Block, 4th Tier Yardside
Cell #9, Cell#10
Time: 9:30 pm
Format: Handwritten by: Xzyzst
Page count: 9
(0 of 9)
Tonight is march 14, 2016, I think it's near 9:30pm. it's what we call, "Last Walk",
That's when this shift of Cops walk each tier for the last time before the first
whatch cop shift starts.
Seems like everyone in the block is still getting used to time springing forward due to daylight
savings, clock rotation, so it's quiet in between the every 30 minute loud clanking sound that
wierdo cop, C.O. Brown makes as he hits the metal trayslot of each cell with what
is called "a Pipe", and if that dont drive a man nuts, before last walk, that
loud clank sound of Metal on Metal noise comes with a "Beep Sound", yes, Four
tiers, with 54 cells on each tier, no, Im not kidd'n ya, All day, every day, and
if I wasn't crazy before, Im pretty sure that Im super bananas now, lol;...
(lil Nigga Nextdoor):
Prankhi has been wanting to pick up from where we left off in our last
cipher, but he has no idea that Ive got some pointed questions specifically
for him, so I can personalize, so that our readers can gauge his development,
and transition, into adulthood.
This one is not an interview, my aim tonight is to give all of you, a realistic
look, into the minds of American innercity youth, specifically, this,
lil Black Boy next door, in the next prison cell, next to your home, your
community, next city, in the next state, in the next life, lil Nigga Nextdoor.
(1 of 9)
(The Harriet Tubman Effect):
XZ I want to kick this off by asking you about the "Harriet Tubman Effect."
P The what? What do she got to do with...?
XZ Sometime ago, I saw a drawing of Her, depicting Her, on the move, and holding
a large hand gun, I have no idea where it came from, but...
P You know what, I've seen that, not here, but from before...
XZ Good, glad you caught that image, you see, for me, it begs to question exactly
who that gun was for...
P So, it's obvious during that time when, "IT WAS ON", revolts everywhere, War,
but for us now, I dont think it's always smart to go for the gun, as
we are now seeing an enemy in different forms, Police, Justice System,
Poverty etc... and a gun, in my opinio cant deal with all those in
one whop; we need way more than guns.
XZ So glad you just said that because, do you think Harriet Tubman's gun
was also used to snap other slaves out of the...
P OK, I got cha, and, whoa, aint no tellen, now that we are looking at the
movement from that angle, because one can only imagine the level of fear and
comfort back then, niggaz loved massa...
(2 of 9)
XZ Boy, did you just say nigga, and massa?
P Yeah, I aint got no hang up's, so I said Niggaz was scared, like we
got scary ass niggaz today, some are comfortable where they are, and
love them some massa, so, Her gun, yeah...
XZ It's a gang of lil Harriet Tubmans today, and do they have the time to convince,
or negotiate with our own to simply get up, move together and escape slavery?
P Look homie, we've seen it over and over in our generation, awareness is the new
gun, awareness is the new movement, and it resonates with the youth because
BLACK LIVES MATTER, and groups like Ms. Tubman have something that she didn't,
online access to information with a simple push of a key, or button.
XZ How old were you in the 1992 civil unrest?
P I was in High School, and people was calling it The Rodney King Riots, but
it was the Civil Rights movement at that moment, in retrospect.
XZ I want to talk to the Piankhi in High School, infact, in that moment,
because, for society, one moment you was that lil Black Boy nextdoor,
and then, what happend? How did you see it?
(3 of 9)
P Seriously, I was young, Man, I didn't even know about the Watts Riots, and...
XZ Hold up, The older people was still in recovery mode, or just left Los Angeles,
Compton and Watts, and us lil Niggaz was just pretty much outhere on our
own, the older people only talked about Jesus.
P Exactly, so, I dont know why people automatically think that we knew about
all if that, but 1992 was Marshal Law, it was a site to see, you
dont know how good it felt when I learned about Nat Turner and Niggaz
fighting back, and here, I was in the middle of "A Riot in my "Juvenile",
"Thug mind", it was a new generation awakening, I mean, it was a rude
awakening, but, awh man...
XZ And you felt what? Real talk, the fires, shots fired, smoke, physical
violence, Im saying, without admitting to anything...lol;... Im only interested
in what you remember feeling in those moments?
(Destroying Their own Communities):
P It was anger first because, I saw that, and the police just got away
with it, I even had an uncle that got his teeth knocked out, and they
was just getting away with it, I responded, fed up, opportunistic, all
Bets was off, s I felt alot of things, sometimes I felt all of them at the same time
(4 of 9)
XZ I get that
P What? I couldn't hear what you said.
XZ I said, I was there too, and I get that, stay there tho, because
we hear people say, "But thay are destroying their own communities".
P I mean, being there, you realize that niggaz can get pretty hungry in all that,
and I wanted some Taco Bell, but it was on fire, so I had to go way
over into another area and spend my money at a Taco Bell outside
of my hood, so it aint like I didn't... you know...
XZ Experience first hand... (both laughing)
P Yeah, exactly, so we really didnt need for outsiders to explain all that shit, lol.
(Our version of reality):
XZ The overall thought, for us, was that, the police was supposed serve all of us
in our community, but they dogged us and treated us like it wasn't our community,
so, since we anre't concidered equal members of a community where we live,
work, spend money and die, well then, this community will be reduced to ashes
until we all experience a bar of that equality stuff others always only talk
about, and I truly believe that some people intentionally avoid our experiences
with this reality, or our version of the reality we all share, again, not equal.
(5 of 9)
(The Superbowl, Academy Awards, The Grammys):
P Man, Im glad Beyoncé did that at the Super Bowl Half Time Show, when millions
around the world was whatching, and nobody saw that music video comming...
XZ The combination of Jada Pinket-Smith and Chris Rock was brilliant, and put society
on blast at the Academy Awards this year, I know that Harriet Tubman is somewhere
glowing, because we aint never going to stop until we all are realistically free.
P But it was Kendrick Lamar at this years Grammy Awards that conveyed my story,
"We Gon Be Alright", as long as lil Niggaz nextdoor continue to transcend into
adulthood inspite the external, and internal bullshit that hinder our proper
growth and development.
XZ I'm 16, 17 years old in 2016, everything on sale(?), in and out, membership on point, and aint
trying to hear no Mountain top speech, a hitter, F tha Police, and a wierdo to haters,
infact, I'm you, so tell me, why should I engage you at your blog, or even pick up
one of your Write Or Die Zines?
P Probably, if you really look at it, being me, at that age, none of it has nothing to do
with me because I was too immature to even get a Job at Taco Bell, or Del Taco
because they asked me to cut my hair. I was already making enough money, but
girls liked my hair; They was like: "oooh, can I braid your hair?"
I'm just being honest, if you're still playing,
(6 of 9)
This aint for you. As boys we went outside to play, and at the High School
age, we was still playing, but the games changed, because now the toy
guns became real guns, real drugs, real blood exchange, real enemies,
real niggaz and some real bitches, real police, and real bullets, real
bad credit, real felony strikes, real baby and real babies mama.
(Mental Health and Black Boys):
XZ So why are lil niggaz nextdoor taking too long to not view life as a game?
P Thats one of those psychological things doctors write about, you know, Mental
Health is still a new and developing thing, and things like plantation psychosis
is not just a lil Nigga thing, its a Human thing, I think it plays out to
our detriment in full view because people take advantage of us because
people take advantage of us because even girls know that they mature faster
than us in the hood... We're immature.
XZ The cops take advantage of our immaturaty, so-called faith based groups, and people
do the photo op's with children when it's so-called time to help our youth, but...
P You never see them with us, or the homies,
XZ Churches go on global missions and take Gods Love, resources and money all
over the world, but wont spend a second with the lil Niggaz down the street and
around the corner from the church, or community center designed for children,
and not us lil niggaz next door.
(7 of 9)
(Stuck in Play Mode):
P I've seen studies done that showed how between boys and girls, when put in a
room with a toy gun, it was impossible for boys not to touch the
gun, because we are wired in that way, but in my experience, I've yet
to see us grow into adolescence in view of that image, and other things,
that should no longer be concidered a play thang; so to answer your
question man, what I do with this project is not for people still
stuck in play mode.
XZ Take us home youngsta,
P All I can do is continue to be there for those that are transcending into
awareness mode about whats to come, when play mode turns into
literally sitting here waiting to be killed by poison being injected into
my body because lil niggaz nextdoor has made the list of those that
are no longer welcomed on this planet. Black Lives Never Mattered.
We struggle for equality in life only to learn that some of us are
being reared in a society that has made up its mind that the
only method of equal use available forr these lil niggaz nextdoor is
a method of execution, and that's why niggaz need to stop playing,
because we're the only ones playing.
(8 of 9)
Im not about telling people what thay need to do, so like I said before, Im
like, if people are already entrigued enough to go to betweenthebars.org,
or have one of our prisoner zines fall into their lap, then we offer an unique
perspective from where I am, and Im not saying to go pick up a bible,
or join some religion, but we are saying within our projects to become
more aware of ones self.
#NGR is youth oriented, and we plan to engage our own, put these
conversations and online ciphers into zine form and share the open dialogue
with as many people as I possibly can, especially in prisons, Jails, and
Juvenile Detention Centers because in order for a New Generation to rise in this
moment, we must rise as one.
# NGR, New Generation Rising
XZ Im so there, let me go strike this up, man I could
sure go for some Taco Bell right now, well, if them other lil Niggaz nextdoor
aint burnt it down already, we cant walk too much further in the streets
of America without being killed by cops, we need more than just guns now,
and play mode on pause?
P For now, hell yeah.
(9 of 9) (sent: 4/10/16)
2019 may 4
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2018 aug 11