July 7, 2016
by Sarah Luedecke (author's profile)
This post is in reply to comments on:  Behind the Scenes thumbnail
Behind the Scenes
(Jan. 17, 2014)


Reply ID: 46nd.

Thank you so much for the response to my work. How did you find my blog? I think, as usual it is a good idea for people to stay informed of topics they may have no knowledge of. My family relationship are okay. However, I believe that my children will always be damaged by my own selfish actions. Some would say I don't deserve to make parole or have a real chance at freedom. However, I'd gladly give up my own freedom for the one change to tell my children I love them. I wish I could look at east of their beautiful faces and tell them how very sorry I am. Actually my book is finished and I'm trying to get it typed and published. However, everything costs something. I don't get paid to work so I have to rely on the generosity of others to do projects like this. Thank yo for the compliment about my writing. I am in college - Composition I. I am doing very well so that speaks volumes. I wish more people were familiar with my work. Maybe I would become published faster. Or at least that is my hope. I wish I still had access to a typewriter. My own funds are limited so I have to hand write everything. Yes, I call myself a perfectionist because I know my own capabilities and if I do less than I knew I am able to I become disappointed in myself. I loved this poetry. I would love to continue correspondence with you either by blog or directly. Hopefully you'd agree. It took my response time longer than usual because of the fact that this was denied to me for a month because of where I reside. So I had to appeal it just to read it. But I won the appeal and they gave it back to me. Well hopefully I receive a response.

I used to believe if I did everything right I'd be allowed to go home. This is not the case. I was denied parole for the fourth time. This state I reside in gives its incarcerated population a number of tasks. Take this class or that class. Work here. Work there. I took college classes, have modified my behavior into a complete 180 degree turn. I haven't been in any major trouble in close to 5 years. And granted my whole reason for my incarceration is the result of a crime I committed. I have never nor will I ever forgive my actions nor condone them. I guess neither does the parole board because here I sit. How restitution can I actually make towards all those I have hurt by being locked up. I've gotten all I can, and accomplished so much. But my children have always been my first priority. Hands down. I know I cannot fix or change the past but Talis, Zander, Thor, Loki and Ryo are my whole world. To them I owe everything. It's them who gives me strength when I have none! For everything I'm so very sorry...


Replies (6) Replies feed

Ashke Posted 5 years, 10 months ago. ✓ Mailed 5 years, 9 months ago   Favorite
Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post. Keep faithful to the changes you have made in yourself. Keep hope for those who mean everything to you. Just because you have not gotten parole thus far does not mean no-one has noticed your efforts or that your changes have not inspired others to try harder themselves.

Sarah Luedecke Posted 5 years, 9 months ago.   Favorite
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blackmanizgod@7 Posted 5 years, 6 months ago. ✓ Mailed 5 years, 6 months ago   Favorite
I love your way of thinking. Would like to know you better and share some things with you that may lead to a new way of living.

Sarah Luedecke Posted 5 years, 5 months ago.   Favorite
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Latishathebeau1983. Posted 4 years, 11 months ago. ✓ Mailed 4 years, 10 months ago   Favorite
Sarah Jane, so long since we've spoken. I have always loved your writing but you already know that. I dont know if you get these responses but I hope that you do. I keep up with your work and with you as well. Your words always held such depth and meaning. Keep writing baby girl. I'm still reading. Always, Eve (Latisha)

Sarah Luedecke Posted 4 years, 10 months ago.   Favorite
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