August 06, 2016

To: My viewers

I want to apologize in my delay updating my blog. I was going through a financial situation. I was still writing, so look forward to a lot of articles in the next week or so. I been watching the news. All the terrible things been going on. I hope I said something in these writings taht can help somebody. I want you to know something, viewers: a lot of times we look for answers to our problems, it be right under us.

Today we going to do something fun. I love jokes. A laugh makes the heart merry. Also I am enclosing twenty-one important things to remember about life. Viewers, I want you to know I miss you all so much. Well, let's get started with the jokes:

Joke 1
Patient: What would I have to give you for a little kiss kiss?
Nurse: Chloroform.

Joke 2
Why did the miner go to podiatrist?
He had coal feet

Joke 3
Patient: Help me, doctor. I think I'm a bridge.
Doctor: My! My! What's come over you?
Patient: Two trucks and a minivan.

Joke 4
What does a nurse call a sunburn emergency?
Code Red

Joke 5
My pet dog is so spoiled that when I tell him to sit, he jumps in my recliner and puts up his feet.

Joke 6
There was an oil baron in Texas who was so rich, the bank used to call him to borrow money.

Joke 7
And then there was the woman who was such a messy housekeeper. She had to hire a detective and a bloodhound to track down where her kids were.

Final Jokes
Two little fish in the ocean were talking about places they'd like to visit. "I'd like to visit a sardine canning factory just to see what goes on in there," said one fish. "How about you?" The other little fish was shocked. "Not me," he said. "I wouldn't be caught dead in a place like that."

Sign on a dog biscuit factory: Beware. We bake for animals.

Written by Jennifer Johnson

Twenty-one Important Things to Remember About Life

1. No one can ruin your day without your permission.
2. Most people will be about as happy as they decide to be.
3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.
4. Whatever you are willing to put up with is exactly what you will have.
5. Success stops when you do.
6. When you ship comes in, make sure you are willing to unload it.
7. You will never "have it all together."
8. Life is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy the trip.
9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want, I will be happy."
10. The biggest way to escape your problem is to solve it.
11. I've learned that ultimately takers lose and givers win.
12. Life's precious moments don't have value unless they are shared.
13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.
14. We often fear the thing we want the most.
15. He or she who laughs... lasts.
16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
17. Look for opportunities, not guarantees.
18. Life is what's coming, not what was.
19. Success is getting up one more time.
20. Now is the most interesting time of all.
21. When things go wrong, don't go with them.