Date: 02 Nov 25
Subject: (Continuation of: " What's In A Name " ...

(Continuation of: " What's In A Name " Nov. 3, 2025)

In category number 4 (Based on actual name) the percentage turned out rather low, because I realized that many times a guy will take on the nickname of his initials (ex.: T.J., K.T., B.J., V.D.). However, that just doesn't seem to have enough originality to make it interesting.

One main bit of interest is how none of these guys have anything against their new names. They all seem to be willing to accept them with no problem. Like for instance, this guy I knew whose last name was Underwood, that was totally hung up on himself to the point that he thought he belonged in a GQ Magazine. Well, when someone decided to start calling him "Hollywood," he naturally had no complaints. Even though the real reason for calling him that was simply because it was easier to remember, but we never told him that.

I'm sure when you hear of a nickname like "X-Man," it gives you the impression of some hit man for the Mafia. However, the man in this example was a harmless little guy from some foreign country that had a first and last name that each consisted of about 10 letters. Considering the fact that his last name started with the letter "X," I suppose most of the guys didn't even want to attempt to pronounce it, and came up with a much easier name real quick. While writing this I've heard from someone that another nickname for a guy with that type of name is "Alphabet." But who would want a name that made you sound like you were still in kindergarten?

Speaking of kindergarten. That reminds me of an example where the guy's nickname didn't stem from his official name. Rather, while spending time with his little daughter out of visitation, she would pronounce daddy in a fashion that sounded like "Day-Day." So I guess fellow inmates can't always get the credit.

I came across my last example at a camp I was at a couple of years ago. When I first got there, I heard about a guy whose nickname was, "Double-D." I must admit, I did have an interest in seeing what this individual must look like. But later, upon meeting him, I discovered that his nickname had derived from the fact that his real name -- "Todd" -- had two D's in it. And, no, it wasn't his bra size.

I know, you're probably asking yourself, "What about the other 16%?" Well, the problem is that in those cases the guys couldn't give me any kind of a sensible reason. . . Hold on a second, this all looks very familiar. (Writer looks back a few pages.)

Okay, I see why it looks familiar. However, I did point out that, "You'll see what I mean when I share them with you later." Well, it's later.

I suppose I could clear all this up if I just simply included this section as a category number 5 on my final draft. However, with just my luck I'll probably forget to do it. At any rate, the nickname "Block" fits in this category quite well, at least in the case that I came across. When I asked the guy why everyone called him that, he told me it was because of his large head. But he didn't have a large head!! I've seen way too many guys with bigger, box-shaped heads to even consider him being a valid individual for the title.

Other guys can't even give me a wrong reason for their new names. Like "Skillet," (no he didn't work in the kitchen) "Ranger," and "Fish" (whose memory seemed to be just fine). Then, there was an old cellmate of mine who kept his entire body and head shaped. So I'm sure you can understand my confusion when he told me that his nickname was "Fluff."

Actually, that name should have been appointed to an individual I've met who had the name, "Knuckle-Head." I say this because he was by far no kind of a dimwit. However, he was one of those guys who. . . Well, you know. They just look like they haven't evolved yet, because their hole body -- including the inside of their ears -- just looks like a lawn of hair.

Well, hopefully after reading this chapter you haven't come up with any ideas on what to name your next child. . .

You know something, it just dawned on me. Why should this chapter be limited to the nicknames of only the prisoners? What about the guards and officers? They have nicknames too. Naturally we aren't permitted to just start using them haphazardly, while speaking to them or about them with another guard. However, with as much chatter that goes on, and with as loud as some of these guys talk, it's never a secret to a guard when he or she has obtained a new title.

I remember "G.I. Jane" as being one guard who actually liked her nickname, which was completely understandable. With the way that lady would run things: screaming in our faces, not letting us talk, keeping us in a straight line, and the way she dressed with her camouflage pants tucked in her boots you would swear she was an ex-military sergeant.

I guess "Robot Cop" was another one who didn't seem to have any issues with his nickname. However, that was probably because he didn't really have any character or personality to begin with. He also did everything exactly by the book. You could never ask a special favor of him or be caught with any form of contraband, no matter how harmless it was.

"Marlboro Man" was an officer who just had that rugged cowboy look about him, with the mustache, the hat, and of course the cigarettes -- back when smoking was permitted.

(Okay, that's enough for this week, or next week's conclusion to the chapter will be way too short. In closing I thought I would just point out that the last example of the nicknames from initials isn't a real one that I've come across in here. I mean, I seriously doubt anyone would accept a nickname like V.D. I was just checking to see if you were awake. See you next week.)

MAZE