The Death Row Poet
http://between the bars.org/blogs/1581/ronald-w-clark-jr

Daily Journal
February 19-21,2013

Tuesday February 19,2013 6:45 am. I'm heartbroken this morning, a letter came back last night From a good Friend Kay and the envelope is "Return to sender Deceased." She was a wonderful woman. we had been writing for 13 years. She was a simple woman with a kind and loving heart. She didn't have a T.V. or computer. When she needed the Internet, she would go to the Library. She didn't even own a car. She didn't have any religious beliefs yet, she was always the example of Love, compassion and mercy. It's a heartbreaking losse. I'm going to have someone find out how she died. Didn't sleep well last night because of this. I kept waking up thinking about her.
7:30 I go to see the psychologist at 9am. I hope to see the Doctor about getting prozac. I got in Four letters last night. So I need to write them. I also have to write another attorney concerning this slander. My knee is hurting so bad. I'm going to have to get something done about this. The pain is getting out of control. I need to get going.
10:33 am I was out there over an hour and a half. I seen Mr. Byrd then Dr.Greeley who has prescribed me prozac. I probably won't get it for another 2 or 3 days. Damn I hate that Kay has died. I lost Fiona in August of last year to that stinking ass cancer. I really felt for her family. She had a son + a daughter like 12 + 13. Fiona was a real sweetheart. I lost Sharron in January 2005 to cancer. And my uncle Stanley died of cancer in or about 2002 my aunt Pat in 1990. Kay dying made me think of all that. Life- we never really know here one minute, gone the next, and there's nothing fair about it. 'Cause if it was fair Kay, Fiona, Sharron and Patty would still be here. I, on the other hand would be dead. I'm going to listen to some music after lunch and exercise.

11:52am Just finished eating. The guys are going to recreation this afternoon. I'll do some push-ups and see what else comes to mind. Sure wish I could go out.

4:39PM I haven't done anything. I've just been laying around. I'm going to sleep at 5:30 soon as they come by for the last check, I'm gone. Kay dying has just been weighing heavily on my heart. Chow's late, the runner's just went to get the food carts. I really want to find out how Kay died. I'm just so tired from the lack of sleep. Just kept thinking about Kay. She had a hell of a vocabulary. Her letters were one of a kind. Damn I'm going to miss here :( I'm going to lay down and call it a day.

Wednesday February 20, 2013 8:04am Just finished writing my mom. They called rec down here only 2 guys went out. I slept from 6pm yesterday 'till 5am. I took a bunch of sinus pills. Those things put me to sleep. At least I got some rest. I also wrote another card, I'm trying to find out what happened with Kay. She lived in Norwalk, Ca. Damn she was a really good woman. I'm fixing to clean this cell and then write or exercise.

8:57am Just finished cleaning this cell. I scrubbed down the cell bars, walls, bunk floor, sink, toilet, everything! Fixing to have a cup of coffee, walk for a bit, and then decide what to do next - write, exercise, or work on this stationary.

11:35am Just finished eating. I wrote a blog, Blade Runner, earlier. But other than that I haven't done anything. Did some walking. I've got to exercise here shortly, at least bump off some push-ups. Hope to get my prozac by Friday. It'll take about a week for it to kick in and start working.

4:03pm Canteen came about 15 minutes ago. Chow was just served. That was nasty, I didn't eat anything on the tray. I'm fixing to walk while listening to my music. Then I'm going to do some push-ups. I won't get my shower until about 8pm. Got Survivor on tonight. Hope to get some good mail. Well, get to it.

5:57pm I did a little something, a few push-ups. Now I just finished up a piece of stationary, which is going in the mail tonight. I need to get some copies run off so I can use it for the blog. It'll be a few weeks before it's back and I can use it. Fixing to lay back, watch the news and then just wait on the shower.

Thursday February 21, 2013 6:04am Got a letter last night with more bad news. On Feb 18, Sherry died. I've know her for 31 years. She was my mom's lover for nine years. Her and I were really close in the 80's. We hung out, she was like a big kid. We played video games together, went to the movies, she was a wonderful woman, not a kinder soul on this earth. She was a nurse, became an RN in 1988 April. I went to Oklahoma for her graduation. This one hurts bad. I loved Sherry very much! Life sucks. This shit better not be by design, 'cause there's nothing fair or equal about this stinking ass life. I've got to write.

11:40am Just got my prozac, just took the first two pills. I hope this kicks in quick. Right now I'm reading Paul Howell's case out of the Florida Supreme Court. The ruling is from February 19, 2013, one of the lawyers brought it in today. Here's chow.

12:52pm I just finished reading the case, from what I read, it doesn't look good. I'll be surprised if they stop the execution. Paul's attorney screwed up and missed a filing deadline, which cost Paul his Federal appeals. He wouldn't be over there right now, oh they would have eventually killed him, but not yet. The Attorney's mistake got him. Killed before he should have been according to the law. So Paul has about 125 hours left to live. Hell, let's kill some more people just to prove that we don't approve of killing. Yes, that's a damn good idea, really works well doesn't it?!

2:42pm I haven't accomplished anything today. I got a couple of short letters written. I'm sending the panda out for my friend, she'll like it. Mp3 man came by earlier, I don't have any music coming, so it didn't really matter to me. I've been sitting here thinking about Sherry. When ET came out in 1982, her and I went to see it together. We also saw Halloween III, we bought an Atari game, and we used to play it all the time. We would even go to the game rooms. She enjoyed video games, she's the one who helped me talk mom into getting a motorcycle, which was a bad idea 'cause I was an idiot who turned out running the cops into a game. We had a lot of fun. I wish she would have took better care of herself. Diabetes is no joke, one small sore on her foot resulted in her getting really sick, losing her foot and messing her up to where she couldn't talk and eventually cost her her life. She was a fun-loving, good-hearted woman, but just that quick life is over. Tomorrow February 22, makes my 22nd year here on Death Row. It's been a very long journey. I wouldn't wish this crap on anyone, not even that low life slime ball unethical, dishonourable sorry criminal Warden Barry V. Reddish. Yes, this shit isn't no joke. Reading Paul's case and seeing how the court applies the Martinez court law, there's no doubt I'll get relief and wind up with a life sentence, unless I terminate my appeals. Martinez applies to my case in every way, I just don't like getting stuck with a walking death sentence. I'll be glad when 5:30 gets here. I'm going to take my sinus meds and go to sleep.

4:44pm Just finished eating. There's rumors going around about an inmates having a heart attack and dying. Not sure if it's true, may take a couple of days to find out the truth. I'm fixing to wash clothes and then get in bed and call it a day. Been a bad day.