Transcription
Friendship
I have often times wondered the value of this word and if it could be shown by those around me. But this is to no avail. I am not necessarily a hermit now but I do stay to myself most of the time. I did have a friend whom I will call Linus and I showed her that the friendship I offered was real and that I would always be here for her whenever she needed me but I didn't get this in return. I often times ask myself how a persons' sense of these things can be so warped. But then again I also have to wonder how a person' sense of right and wrong can be so unrealistic at best. Friend is a word I don't use lightly. I have had some claim me as such but I always seem to decline their title of me. No, not in arrogance but because I see the truth of who they really are. The wolf behind the sheep's mask if you will. I find myself hungry as a vampire would be for blood just for a person to talk to at times. One I could trust 100% and who would keep all my secrets. But also one who would allow me to do the same. I am rejected on all accounts. I guess the only friend I have in this chaos is my writing. No one can take this from me and I can always put pen to paper and write to my heart's content. I don't expect everyone or even one person to agree with my view or the way I feel but it would be nice to hold a conversation - one worth having. There is none of that here. The thought of me living my life alone seems to want to consume me and leave me drained of all human emotions. Today, I am weary of this life. Some days are better than others but really is it worth living? NOT without them...
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Replies (2)
I feel that I can really understand what you wrote about. It touched something inside of me because I know what that kind of endless loneliness can feel like.
I wonder if you're reading any good books at the moment which might give you with some of that excitement you're looking for?