REPLY ID: 96dd[underlined]
APRIL 26, 1014: 10:00am: LISTENING TO: FEED THE MACHINE BY: RED
MAT,
HI, I JUST GOT YOUR COMMENT THAT YOU POSTED FOR ME LAST NIGHT. NOT SURE HOW LONG THEY TAKE TO BE PRINTED OUT & REACH ME BUT I LIKE TO RESPOND ASAP WHEN I GET THEM. I WAS A LITTLE INTRIGUED BY YOUR QUESTIONS BECAUSE I'LL BE HONEST, THERE WERE TIMES IN MY CHILDHOOD WHEN I FELT ROTTEN TO THE CORE. I LOVED 2 THINGS ON THIS EARTH, MY FAMILY & MYSELF. I HONESTLY DID NOT HAVE A REAL CONSCIENCE UNTIL I MET JUSTINE. SHE AWAKENED IT IN ME. IT WAS ALWAYS THERE BUT I HONESTLY DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE ELSE OR ANYTHING ELSE IF IT WASN'T ABOUT ME OR MY FAMILY. I OWE JUSTINE MY LIFE, & SHE HAS BEEN BURIED FOR OVER 12 YEARS NOW & THIS CONSCIENCE EATS AT ME INSIDE. WELL LET ME ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS. I ONLY WENT TO PENNRIDGE FOR MAYBE 3 MONTHS. THAT'S IT. MY OLDER BROTHER & SISTER, DAWN & JERRY, THEY WENT FOR YEARS, BUT NOT ME. NO, I DON'T REMEMBER THE NAME ERIC MOTIS. HE'S PROBABLY OLDER THAN ME. I WAS EXPELLED FROM THAT SCHOOL IN LATE 1989. YOU SAID YOU NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY HE KILLED SUCH NICE PEOPLE. & ON THE NEWS THIS MORNING I SAW A 14 YEAR-OLD CHILD BEAT AN 87 YEAR-OLD WOMAN TO DEATH. WHY WOULD A CHILD DO THAT TO SOMEONE? ESPECIALLY THE ELDERLY? I JUST DON'T KNOW. CHILDREN CAN BE THE MOST SELFISH & EVIL PEOPLE ON EARTH. THEY DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING YET & YOU START TO LEARN AS A TEENAGER & BY THE TIME YOU'RE AN ADULT, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FULLY EDUCATED. I KNOW A LOT OF KILLERS & I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN HERE FOR 20-30 YEARS. SO TODAY I'M GOING TO ASK A FEW ABOUT ERIC MOTIS. I'LL INCLUDE ANYTHING I'M TOLD, IF ANYONE REMEMBERS. MURDERS IN PA STATE PRISONS DON'T HAPPEN VERY MUCH ANYMORE, BUT SUICIDES HAPPEN EVERY YEAR. PEOPLE COMMIT MURDER FOR MANY REASONS. HATRED, JEALOUSY, & SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST EVIL TO THE CORE. I KNOW A MAN WHO IS EVIL TO THE CORE. HE ENJOYS RAPING WOMEN. & WHERE IS HE RIGHT NOW? HE MADE PAROLE AFTER 20 YEARS & WENT HOME THIS MORNING. ANYWAY, WHAT DRIVES A PERSON TO KILL? I WOULD SAY FEAR IS A BIG ONE. I'VE KNOWN MEN WHO HAVE KILLED OUT OF FEAR, BUT I HAVE ALSO MET SOME WHO KILLED OUT OF HATRED OR JEALOUSY. MOST ARE FROM MAJOR CITIES & IT'S A PART OF THE ENVIRONMENT THEY GREW UP IN. I REALLY DON'T THINK I HAVE THE ANSWERS THAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR, BUT I HOPE I CAN BE OF SOME HELP. MOST OF THE MEN IN PRISON FOR MURDER THAT I'VE MET, NOT ALL, BUT MOST DID IT OVER FINANCIAL REASONS. THEY WANTED MONEY, OR A ROBBERY GONE BAD, OR A BURGLARY GONE BAD. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY FRIEND. MY FRIEND, PAUL. 54 YEARS OLD, ITALIAN AMERICAN WHO GREW UP IN A FINANCIALLY STABLE FAMILY. WENT TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL, COLLEGE, MARRIED WITH 3 CHILDREN. ROLE MODEL, VERY ACTIVE IN HIS CHURCH, HELPS ANYONE WITH ANY PROBLEMS. I HAVE WATCHED HIM GIVE A MAN THE SHIRT OFF OF HIS BACK, LITERALLY, HIS CLEAN BRAND-NEW T-SHIRT. BUT ONE DAY PAUL TRIED DRUGS & AS TIME WENT ON, HE BECAME HOOKED. HE FELL APART. & A LONG STORY SHORT, THE ELDERLY WOMAN WHO LIVED NEXT DOOR TO HIM, THE SAME ONE HE HAD BEEN HELPING WITH ANYTHING SHE NEEDED HELP WITH, HE BEGAN STEALING MONEY FROM HER TO SUPPORT HIS DRUG HABIT. WHEN SHE FOUND OUT, HE PANICKED (THAT'S WHERE THE FEAR COMES IN AT) & HE KILLED HER. HE RECEIVED THE DEATH PENALTY BUT WAS LATER CHANGED TO LIFE BY THE COURTS. KILLING PAUL MIGHT HAVE BEEN JUSTICE FOR THE FAMILY OF THE WOMAN & FOR HERSELF, BUT HE WAS INSTRUMENTAL IN MY CHANGING. HE MADE THE EFFORT IN TAKING ME TO CHURCH, TEACHING ME, HE BECAME SOMEONE I TRULY RESPECT. & WITHOUT HIS GUIDANCE, I CAN'T SAY THAT I WOLD HAVE MADE THE CONSCIENCE EFFORT TO CHANGE. MAT, I'M SURE YOU'VE READ MY STORY. SOME IS TRUE, SOME ISN'T. I NEVER WANTED THIS AND I NEVER PLANNED IT. BUT I DID END A MAN'S LIVE. IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE ON PURPOSE, IT'S STILL GONE. YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING TRULY WRONG WITH YOU IN ORDER TO COLD BLOODEDLY KILL 3 INNOCENT PEOPLE. MY CRIME WAS NOT INTENTIONAL, MAT, BUT THE AFTERWARDS WAS & IT WAS DONE OUT OF FEAR. FEAR OF GOING TO PRISON, WHICH WOULD MAKE ME LOSE THE MOST AMAZING WOMAN I HAD EVER KNOWN. I PANICKED & THE FEAR TOOK OVER. & IN THE END, I STILL LOST HER FOREVER. I HOPE YOU DO WRITE THIS BOOK & IF YOU DO, YOU REMEMBER TO SEND ME A COPY. IF I CAN HELP OUT IN ANY OTHER WAY, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO TELL ME. TAKE CARE & THANX FOR WRITHING. CIAO.