"This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation."
- Jake Gyllenhaal in 'Brokeback Mountain'.

06/24/14

Dear Readers,

Howdy! Once again my life has gone from bad to worse & I have no idea where to begin.

I'm out a lot of money again due to opening my heart & trusting the wrong guy for starters. A bad habit of mine, unfortunately. I was seeing 'Boots' & care for him very, very much. He was in a jam financially until his mom could send him some more money. Naturally, I offered to help him out until he could pay me back.

Well, the short version of this is that he refused to pay me back. I loaned him 2 flat books of stamps plus 2 loose books & a jar of Folgers at $7.30. I later discovered that "someone" had gotten into my secret stash of stamps and stolen 2 more flat books. I don't know who that was but I do know that Boots knew where my secret stash was. So, this guy got me for 4, and possibly 6, books of stamps plus a jar of Folgers. I need to get "DOORMAT" tattooed on my forehead.

Then, a week ago last Monday, I was sitting in my cell and around noon the C.D. told me to pack all my stuff 'cause I was moving to another cell in another unit. WTF? My so-called "BFF" Raven, the transexual, had filed a "sexual harassment" complaint against her cellie, an old man in a wheelchair who was leaving in a month anyway (being released). And how did he harass her? Just by running his mouth & talking about her showing off her boobs, that's it.

She's a pre-op transexual in a man's prison trying to become a female & she expects no one to say anything about it. Am I supposed to file a sexual harassment complaint every time someone calls me "fag"?

So, this bitch got me involved & my name was brought up & suddenly I'm forced to pack everything & move to a different unit where I most definitely didn't want to live & with someone whom I sure didn't want to live with. I was pissed.

But do you think it ends there? Of course not - it only gets worse. Two days after I was told to pack everything & move to a different unit, I was told to pack everything & report to R+D (Receiving & Discharge - where you go when you arrive or leave the prison). Are you f-ing kidding me? Once again I pack all my stuff - only this time adding 3 bags of yarn & hobby crafts from Rec.

Ten of us packed out that day. One was going to the "low security" prison next door and the other 9 of us were headed to the other medium security prison also next door (there are 5 prisons in this complex). We were stuck without property for 2 days & moved on Friday. Lovely.

Some of the guys spoke to the Captain & were told that they wouldn't be coming back - ever. The official word is that they needed the bed space. I know 2 of the guys were buying prescription drugs from other inmates & pressuring the guy who told on them. I strongly suspect my name came up because of my bitch ex-cellie Paul, who kept "dropping notes" on me to get me thrown in the Hole. However, he just screwed himself 'cause he was transferred to. Serves him right.

This place is awful. And it is seriously scary for someone like me who's not used to this rough of an environment. It's like night & day compared to next door. The last time I was in a place like this I only lasted 3 months & then had to "check in" to the Hole where I spent 8 months waiting to be transferred. I don't know if I'm gonna make it & I don't know if I can go back to the other prison.

Also, this move really screwed me up financially even more 'cause now I don't have a job & am just starting to get crocket orders. I just don't know what I'm gonna do.

Well, dear Readers, any kind thoughts and/or prayers are more than welcome.

Love & Blessings,

Kelly