MY LIFE, MY FAMILY, MY WORLD

JULY 31, 2015: 10:30am: LISTENING TO: IF TODAY WAS YOUR LAS DAY BY: NICKELBACK
MORNING EVERYONE, I DON'T USE THE TERM "GOOD" NOW BECAUSE LIFE JUST ISN'T GOOD ANYMORE. MY
MOM DOESN'T DESERVE TO DIE & EACH DAY WHEN I WAKE UP, I'M REMINDED OF THE MISERY I FACE.
MY MOM IS VERY AFRAID TO DIE. SHE'S ONLY 59. & FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MANY MANY YEARS, SHE
CRIED TO ME ON THE PHONE & TOLD ME HOW AFRAID SHE ACTUALLY WAS. KILLED ME INSIDE TO HEAR
THE PAIN & FEAR IN HER VOICE. I'M TRYING NOT TO BE DOWN, DEPRESSED & MISERABLE BUT IT'S NOT
THAT EASY. I PRAY CONSTANTLY FOR A MIRACLE. GIVE ME HER CANCER, LET HER LIVE. JUST DON'T
KNOW IF MY PRAYERS ARE EVEN HEARD ANYMORE. I WAS A BAD PERSON FOR SUCH A LONG TIME. MAYBE
IT'S TOO LATE TO CHANGE.
ON ANOTHER NOTE, I APPLIED FOR A TRANSFER TO BE CLOSER TO MY MOMS HOUSE. I ASKED THE
PRISON SYSTEM TO SEND ME CLOSER TO HER BECAUSE SHE CANNOT TRAVEL UP HERE & I WOULD LIKE TO
BE ABLE TO SPEND WHATEVER TIME I CAN WITH HER BEFORE SHE'S GONE. I HAVEN'T SEEN MY MOM IN
OVER 1 YEAR SO I REALLY WOULD LIKE TO. I REALLY HOPE THEY DON'T DENY MY PETITION. I TOLD
THEM I DON'T CARE WHAT PRISON I GO TO, AS LONG AS IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH FOR MY FAMILY TO BRING
MY MOM TO. THATS ALL I CAN HOPE FOR.
WHEN I CAME TO PRISON, I HAD 5 LITTLE COUSINS. RHIANNON, DESIREE, BRITTANY, ASHLEY,
& TIFFANY. THEY WERE ALL KIDS, AGES 4-12. I LOVED THOSE GIRLS. I WOULD TAKE THEM ALL TO THE
STORE EVERY TIME I WENT TO VISIT, THEY LIVED IN A ROUGH NEIGHBORHOOD IN THE KENSINGTON SECTION
OF PHILADELPHIA. WELL THEIR PARENTS TESTIFIED AGAINST ME IN MY TRIAL. THEY WERE TRYING TO
GET THEMSELVES OUT OF TROUBLE FOR OTHER CRIMES SO THEY MADE DEALS & TESTIFIED AGAINST ME.
MOST OF THEIR TESTIMONY WAS SELF-SERVING LIES. BUT THE POINT IS, I LOST TOUCH WITH THE FAMILY.
I LOVED MY LITTLE COUSINS & I NEVER WANTED TO LOST THEM FROM MY LIFE. I JUST RECONNECTED
WITH MY LITTLE COUSIN DESIREE WHO IS 27 NOW, WITH 4 KIDS, & WILL GET MARRIED MAY 3, NEXT
YEAR. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE PICTURES OF DESI & HER 4 KIDS. I GOT TO TALK TO DESI'S KIDS ON
THE PHONE & THEY ARE SUCH TALKATIVE & OUTGOING KIDS. WISH I COULD BE FREE TO GET TO KNOW
THEM. BUT THAT'S NOT IN THE CARDS FOR ME. I'LL TAKE WHAT I CAN GET WITH THEM THOUGH.
MY DAUGHTER KRISTA WILL BE 18 IN OCTOBER. SHE STILL ISN'T SPEAKING TO ME BUT I SENT
WORD TO HER SOCIAL WORKER THAT SHE SHOULD GET IN TOUCH WITH MY MOM BECAUSE OF HER HEALTH.
I SENT HER A RECENT PHOTO OF ME WITH A PUPPY DOG. HOPEFULLY ONE DAY SHE'LL FORGIVE ME & COME
BACK INTO MY LIFE. FAMILY COMES FIRST, THEY MEAN THE WORLD TO ME & NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE
THEM REALLY FUCKIN SUCKS. THATS WHY LETTERS ARE SO VALUABLE TO ME. GIVES ME SOMETHING TO
HOLD ON TO. WELL ENOUGH BORING YOU TODAY. I'M SETTING UP A CROSSFIT COMPETITION HERE IN THE
PRISON & IT IS SERIOUSLY ALOT OF WORK! BUT I CAN'T FAIL AT THIS SO I HAVE TO GET BACK TO
WORK ON IT. TAKE CARE, I WANT TO WISH HAPPY BIRTHDAY'S TO MY NONNA IN HEAVEN (SHE WOULD HAVE
BEEN 82 ON AUG.5) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HANNAH MARTIN, BEST SOCIAL WORKER ON THE PLANET. TO
MY AUNT DIANE WHO SHARES HER BIRTHDAY WITH HER FATHER, WHO IS ALSO IN HEAVEN WITH MY NONNA,
HIS WIFE, JOAN PEZZECA. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIANE & POP. WE'RE HAVING OUR CROSSFIT COMPETITION
8-22 TO RAISE MONEY FOR A CHARITY, & ON 8-29 WE ARE HAVING OUR ANNUAL PRISON RUN-A-THON
MARATHON. I HOPE TO COMPLETE THE 26.2 MILE MARATHON IN 6 HOURS OR LESS. GOD BLESS. CIAO.