House Bill 2135; A Chance at Parole For Men & Women Sentenced to Die in PA State Prisons

8/22/16: 5:07am: Listening to: Fix Me (Acoustic Version) By: 10 Years

Hi Everyone,

Anyone reading this, please read the forms that will follow this letter. For those of you who read what I write, you know me. You know my story. Any one of you are free to ask me whatever you want. Do you really wanna know about change in prison. do you really wanna know if men & women can change? Why not get to know one? Get to know a man or woman in here who is serving a life sentence. Give them a chance to tell their story, then decide. Ask why they feel they deserve a 2nd chance, what have they done in their time in here to earn a 2nd chance? Ask questions. So many PA politicians are getting on board for this movement, we need your support too. Men & women aged 45+, who have done 20-25 years in prison are the least likely to refoffend out of all citizens who are arrested. All we are asking for is a chance, this bill doesn't guarantee everyone will be paroled, it just gives us hope, a chance, something to fight for, look forward to, a chance to redeeming ourselves. I have known men in here who have done 35+ years, never getting in trouble, model prisoners, but without this bill being made into law, they will never see the outside again. We ask for your support. Please read the following & help support us and our families. I thank you, my family thanks you & so do the families of the other 5,300 life sentenced men & women in PA state prisons. If 44 other states allow for the chance at parole for lifers, why not us? Please show support for H.B. 2135. Since coming here, I have lost so many family members, they are all gone & buried, I have lost my son who never even got the chance to be born, I lost by Justine, I will lose my mom, and countless more, but at the very least I want to visit their graves before I die. Some of us are earning a 2nd chance but our state doesn't allow for 2nd chances. So we ask for your support. Please continue to read on, if you have any questions, please ask, if you want to ask the politicians questions, ask. Go to: DecarceratePA.org, find out more, (Look for "CADBI"). Take care, I thank you so very much for your time. God bles ciao.

PS: I want to sent my thoughts & prayers to my friend Lisa Gallagher from Carbon County, PA. Lisa got very poor medical care while in prison for 2 years. They told her nothing was wrong. When she got out she went to a real doctor & was told she has terminal colon cancer, stage 4. If caught earlier, she could have been saved if the prison medical staff had given a crap, but now she will die leaving behind a daughter & grand children.

PLEASE KEEP READING

(REad what I write on my blog. Get to know me. Give ma chance & you won't regret it. I'm not a perfect man but I am a good man now, one that I am growing more proud of each day. I am not that 21 year old kid. Those 2 little girls who stabbed their friend 18 or so times from Wisconsin I believe, they did this they said to please the internet myth Slenderman. Regardless of why, they were 12, now charged as adults. The system has given up on those 12 year old little girls who are now 14. To charge 12 year olds as adults, the system gave up on them already. Don't give up on us. Give us a chance)

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18 Years & Counting: How Much Time Is Enough?

8/12/16: 9:45am: Listening to: Happy? By: Mudvayne

Today makes 18 long years in here. 18 years seems like alot right. If you have a child, thats from birth until graduating high school. I have wasted 18 years of life in here. What I wouldn't give to go back and change the past, to right my wrongs, to fix the past, to take back the pain I have caused. I reached out to an old friend today. Kathleen was a girl I once loved so much. She was my first love but I thought as a teenager that I had to be someone I wasn't with her. A part of me wants my friend back in my life and another part of me needs to know that I didn't ruin her life too. She was such a good girl, I just need to know that I didn't ruin her life too.

I signed up for a new program called the impact of crime program. I wasn't one of those prisoners who needed programs to change. I changed because I wanted to, and honestly, the tragedies in my life made me change. My change began in 2001 with Justine's death. I was suicidal at first. I wanted to die. To live knowing I was the reason she fell apart and was ultimately killed, it ruined me inside. Then I turned to anger and hatred. I hated everyone and I was so angry all of the time. Then I turned to regrets, I went to prayer. Then I went to church, then I just wanted to be better. I wanted someone to be proud of me. So I turned to charity and helped raise a minimum of $25,000 each year when I was either president of the Jaycees or just one of the 5 board members. It was definitely a team effort but 5-6 men sentenced to die in here raising that much money for charity, to help little kids in the burn unit at the hospital in Pittsburgh or C.H.O.P. in Philly, or to St. Judes or just to help a local daycare out with crayons, paper and toys for their kids. We loved doing it. Loved the letters we would get back from grateful people. Those days are over for me. I am about aged out of the Jaycees (it's a young persons organization) and most months I struggle just to be able to mail letters.

It angers me because I volunteer in the hospice ward. I watch the men die. I clean them, I read to them, I help them write letters, I do alot and I don't do it for money but in here, we all need jobs and this one pays $12 a month. Who can survive off of $3 per week. I have to figure this our because this just isn't paying for me to survive in here. Enough of that, I love helping, I just wish we were paid a little more than slave wages in here.

My brother came up to see me. I was scared to death. We have an understanding that no one just shows up for a visit. Let me know at least 1 day in advance. I told him when our mom dies, I do not want him calling the prison, I want him to come see me and tell me to my face. So they called me for a vist and all I could think of was is this my brother to tell me our mom is gone? I had no warning of this visit. So it turned out to be him and baby Lucy. She ran right up to me and said, Uncle Bobby can we play on the sliding board? I saw my brother smile and I knew mom was still alive. Lucy is 5, such an adorable kid. So energetic. We got to run around & play. I loved seeing this little one smile, laugh and have fun.

I've gotten some really nice and encouraging comments from good people on this blog. I just want to say thank you. Life isn't easy and sometimes you just want to give up. You just want to stop fighting to do better. Right now in my state there is legislation pending for parole for lifers. Some politicians say they want us to sit in here for 50 years before being eligible for parole. Doesn't mean you'd get it. As the readers, as every day citizens of your state, what is a fair punishment for taking a life? Is it their life? Is it 15 years? 20? 35? 50? You tell me your opinion. I have some stats. My state is one of 6 (1 outta 6) that does not allow for parole for lifers. Yet 44 other states do. PA state budget for the prison system (about 26-28 prisons) is over $2 billion dollars. And a huge chunk of that is staff overtime. And lets be honest, they are nothing more than an overpriced baby sitter. They are needed, but most of their jobs consist of baby sitting.

Lets move on. I have 2 things I need to talk about. I have been focusing on death alot lately. I lost my notes on this but if you have time, please google this show, "My Last Days" came on the CW TV Network. The host, Justin Baldoni and it was an hour long each day, showing 2 people who were dying of cancer. A young woman named Kat Lazo. Terminal stomach cancer. Couldn't have been older than 21. She is from Las Vegas, NV (where my daughter was born). Kat was an amazing person who I think is still alive. She took her cancer on head-on & she never looked back. To know you have terminal cancer & to have the smile she had on her face, the joy in here eyes, I was so very impressed at the strength of this young woman, every night for the last week I had tears in my eyes as I watched this heart breaking show. So if you get bored & have some time, look this show up. There were more amazing people but I accidentally threw away my notes on it.

My other thing was I watched on TV today, I am a huge animal lover. Especially puppy dogs. A young woman in Arizona, Whitney Steele, she held a sit in. She made a please for anyone one the internet who wanted a dog to adopt a pup named Lana in this Arizona shelter. Lana had the most time in that shelter without a home. So Whitney vowed that she would sleep in the cage and live in it with Lana until someone adopted her. For the next 26 hours Whitney slept on the floor, was fed and lived in the cage with Lana. Then a woman came to adopt her after seeing what Whitney put on the internet. In this country, we kill over 4 million dogs each year because they have no home. So instead of going to a breeder or a store, try going to an animal shelter. Let yourself fall in love with a puppy dog thats going to be killed if no one adopts him or her. Save a dog & you will have a loyal, non-judgmental, and loving friend for life. IF you have the time, money and enough space for a dog, please go to your local animal shelter & adopt. It's very cheap. Well time to go. Take care, holler back & let me know what you think. God bless, ciao.