Reply ID: hjbp

Thank you for transcribing for me. I appreciate everything you do for me and have done for me. Thank you for the compliments!

I often try to write about what situation I am encountering or encountered in the past, as well as current events. I ask the Lord according to James 1:5: if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the land. I pray this daily because someone needs to hear that one word or situation of how somebody else overcame that same situation they are in. Somebody needs a direction in a situation they have been trying to resolve, but most of all somebody needs to know that they can make it through their trials and that they are loved.

Yes, I go through trials, hurts and feel like I can't make it through because it seems like when you get over one thing, here comes another problem. My healing comes through helping someone else. Yes, I have compassion and humanity for others. But I am the first to tell you that it hasn't always been like this because people can hurt you so bad, especially the ones that are closest to you, till you don't want to trust another human being. But God is a healer of the broken-hearted. He did it for me. I humbly accept that God is doing something in your life because I am just a willing vessel that is willing to be used by him.

I want to dwell on this line: your writing heals me whenever I'm feeling down, even though I am not a deeply religious person. I don't know your name, but God is not mad at you. Listen, you can make up this very moment. 1 John 1:9: If we confess our sins, he is faithful to adjust and will forgive us our sin and purify us from all unrighteousness. Unlike man—whom when you do something, they will never forget and always condemn you—a person who is religious, they just going through the motions. They are doing it as a ritual. They don't have a personal relationship. Some have a personal relationship with Christ, but they do everything naturally. I want you to know you are somebody important to me and God. We are all sinners saved by the grace of God. Never think you're not worthy enough to come to him with your problems, when you mess up. God always has open arms for you.

I have a bunkmate who came back from the women transitional center. She relapsed on drugs. She feels so bad that she failed, and I told her that God forgives. Proverb 24:16: for through a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again. But what happened most of the time, we condemn ourselves or others condemns us. We begin to feel like God is mad at us; "He is not going to listen to me. I can't pick up His Word. Are we mad at ourselves and feel like we don't deserve to go to God because I'm the one who messed up?"

This is what we're going to do for my bunkmate. We're going to try to get her in some program to get help. You see, your help starts with self. So I say today to you: when you are feeling down, beating yourself up, discouragement after discouragement, setback after setback, door after doors closed in your face, people not treating you right—there is an answer to all our problems. It doesn't matter if you failed a minute ago. You can still open your Word.

I remember when I was out clubbing, drinking, and hanging out with the wrong people. I would still read my Bible. I didn't change overnight but, as I continue to read, I became free of what had bound me. Did all my troubles go away? Absolutely not. But my loads became lighter. The weights I had on me began to lift. As I told my bunkmate, if it's not but one scripture a day, you got to start somewhere. I told her that addiction she was battling will leave. But she has to start to do something on her own.

Another thing she is battling is depression and nightmares. I tell her daily, "You can be free." I battled a painkiller addiction and nightmares from being molested three times and later raped at 21-years-old by an ex-boyfriend who was HIV positive. I ended up pregnant. I thought about abortion, but instead I kept the baby. God healed me of the nightmares, pain on the inside, delivered me from the painkillers, and it's been almost twenty years. No trace of HIV in my body. I used to feel dirty from the three molestations and rape; I felt unworthy of God's love and me. Why would He allow me to go through those things. I became angry at God and started to condemn myself. God had nothing to do with what happened to me. It was the Devil that used those people to hurt me. I had to forgive them and stop condemning myself, repent of accusing God and being angry with him. This is just some of my testimonies. If God healed, set me free, and delivered me, then he is no respector of a person.

Today, I want to leave you with some encouraging scriptures that can help you when you have any problems. Just know God loves you; he's not mad at you and you have someone that loves you as well as me. Start to read your Bible, even if it's just one scripture a day.