Personal Journal

2-19-18 Mon.
It is cold today and I'm moving like I'm a hundred. Even I have to laugh thinking about the sight of my big ass moving in slow-mo. :)

Today is Presidents Day so I'm not going anywhere.

Tom Dancer. Sometimes a name just pops in your head and Tom popped into my mind last night. I wonder what ever happened to Mr. Clean. I haven't seen Tom in almost 50 years now.

2-21-18 Wed.
There's nothing that makes you so aware of your life, of your past as an old address book full of names of old friends long gone but never forgotten.

We're on lockdown here. Not a real lockdown. Just modified program. Most of the people here wouldn't know from a real lock-up where there is no movement. We have to go for chow. We're showering, they're running ducat, there's a lot of wonders out—all of PIA. :) Meat plant, main kitchen, laundry. The lockdown itself ain't nothing. But think about being stuck in a 8'x12' cell all day with a teenager. :)

2/22/18 Thurs.
√(x2-x1)²+(y2-y1)² slope y2-y1/x2-x1; (x1, y1) and (x2, y2) are two points on the line. And you all said I wouldn't remember any of this. Or was that me? :)

I had to dig out some old formulas for my celly, Little Jimmy, :) and refresh myself because he's going to need some help. Hell, I need some help. I ask him if he knew what pi was, and he said what kind of pie? :) I asked him what the square root of 81 was and he wanted to know what a square root was.

I haven't been anywhere so nothing much is happening except my spelling. I think I just try to write faster than my mind can work.

I did get a little painting in yesterday. But I found it had to do with a teenager hanging over my back asking questions like a four year old. What's that? Why that color? :) I tried to read for awhile, but the kid just kept on talking.

While looking for the formulas, I came upon a lot of old letters, some with pictures in them. Sweet. A few of the letters were part marked all the way back to Folsom, a long, long time ago. I sure do miss my mom and Aunt Alice. I have a lot of cards and letters from them. A few from both James and Tim. I managed to save about a dozen from Steve wrapped in a red ribbon. There are a few from Mel and Theresa, a stack from Linda, even a couple from Cella. Even some letters from people I can't remember and a few cards too.

If we're down today, I'm going to read some of them. Try to anyway. If Jimmy don't get out of that bed soon, I'm going to shine my 12 quadruple shoes on his backside.

2/23/18 Fri.
Got up late this morning. Couldn't get to sleep last night after laying around all day yesterday.

I read more than half a book (The Peaceful Stillness of the Silent Mind by Lama Yeshe) about Buddhism and Buddhists. You love who you love, we are who we are.

When I was seven years old and James almost died, I remember Tim cried. He counted on his big brother protecting him. The three of us boys sleep in a basement on a mattress on the floor. While James was in the hospital, Tim asked me to put my arm over him like James did because he was scared. Well, I was scared too. Wherever they're at, I hope they're together on that mattress.

2/27/18
Jack Frost is here covering everything outside my little window. It's so thick, it looks like it snowed during the night. This freezing cold is not good for my arthritis. I've been up in pain since before 3. My hands are so bad I can barely hold this pen. My little finger keeps locking up. :)

I did manage to do this drawing for this dude yesterday. Then he said a jar of coffee was too much for it. He's going to pay someone $50 to put it on his body, but he can't pay a $6 jar of coffee for it. Kiss my ass. It's just like when someone wants a card for a loved one. My cards start at $5 and go up. They tell me they can get a card at the canteen for 15 cents. Take your ass over there and get it then, if that's all you think of your mama.

I'm trying to teach Jimmy Wrong Lee how to use a dictionary (that's his new name). :) My spelling is not all that good as I'm sure someone may have noticed. :) I'm always in the dictionary, and I still misspell words. So asking me to spell a word for you when I'm in the middle of doing something is not a good idea, especially when I'm doing something (when teenagers like to ask). :)

It's just after five and I'm on a second cup of coffee. Reading back over what I've wrote. Damn, I have to start holding the pen like this all the time. I can even read what I've wrote. Remember the movie The Hustler, where Paul Newman got his hands masted for hustling in a bar? That's the way my hands feel right now.

2/25/18 Sun.
I've been looking out my window for the early morning rain. Hopefully it will rain today. If it does, I'm staying in. Might stay in anyway. I feel like I'm coming down with a cold.

I finished the painting of the church. Maybe a little touch up. I'm going to start on a portrait of my brother James. I got everything together for it yesterday but was unable to draw it out.

I have to stop for now.