reply ID_ 2vnr
To : Tanya Corsner March 10, 2021
From: Robert Pezzeca #DX1148
Smart Comm/Pa DOC
Po Box 33028
St. Petersburg, Florida 33733
instagram.com/emancipated stories project( I am not my crime)
I want to start by thanking you for this comment on my blog. I want to apologize to you and say I am sorry. I am sorry for being such a rotten selfish kid. I was not a good person and I have no excuse. I was mean and cruel. I am sorry but I do not remember you. I remember Juniper, Rayna, Melissa, Chrissie, and Lana. Only names I can recall. My past haunts me so much that I try to forget but when someone that I have hurt reminds me of the pain I caused them, I am grateful because I have alot of atoning to do and if I can do anything to gain your forgiveness for being such an awful child, I will. I am sorry that my being a piece of garbage affected you so immensely. I believe in karma Tanya. It's why I believe my life turned out like this. But I can promise you, as a 44 yr old man, I am not that child. I honestly didn't really grow a conscience until I was about 19 when I met Justine and fell so in love. She was my world. If I was an asshole to her, the guilt ate at me. She was the most wonderful and innocent human being I had ever known and she was nurdered 3 yrs in to my prison sentence. To me, that was karma. All the bad I did in my short life coming back to ruin my life, the good people. It took her murder, the death of almost everyone I have ever loved to change me. I didn't find god or religion, I found human compassion and decency. I lost my parents to cancer 3 years ago and it has truly shown me how short life is. I have a 23 yr old daughter, I spoke to my little one last night. She was walking her puppy. My child has been sexually abused by her step father half of her childhood, she has been raped, and beaten by men, she has had a hard life. And I attribute all of her pain to my past. I'm sorry Tanya and I am glad you are a strong woman who did not allow the misery of another child to ruin you and who you were to become. Let me ask you this, would you be willing to meet me face to face, over a video screen that you can do right from your phone, so that I can apologize to you face to face? If not, it's ok but I want to give you that option if you're interested. Today, I am friends with lawyers, senators, state reps, influential people in the community who have seen the change in me, the good in me. I have helped to create a non profit that helps people, I have done what I am able to do in order to make a positive impact on the world after making such a negative one for so many years of my life. I once had a roster of everyone who should've/would've graduated the same class as me but I got rid of it. I was curious. I wish I had saved it in order to look up your name. I have asked my big sister to try to find you so I can mail this to you, but if she is unable to I will send it to the blog to be posted. I have no excuse for my actions Tanya. I was selfish and immature, I was a kid and I didn't know how rotten I truly was. I can look back and see it now but then, I just didn't realize it. The minute I received this comment form you, it ate at me. Not remembering you or how mean I was to you, so I called my sister and asked her to try to locate you for me so I can do the right thing and apologize to you. If my apology can make this even just a little better, I want to. I owe you atleast that, and more.
I have grown to become a good man Tanya but like I said, it was because of the amazing people in my life. So please know that I am not that piece of garbage you knew as a child. You do not have to forgive me but I owe you more than I can give. But please do not allow the actions of a child to affect you any longer. That person no longer exists. I have worked hard on change and transformation for about the last 8-10 yrs. I am in a very violent place and I have my set backs but I have not raised my hands in violence in almost 14 yrs now. I have become a kind and considerate man.
I offer you this, if you would like to discuss this further, please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org I will never ask you for anything. I will never be inappropriate and I will never cause you any pain again. Of that you have my word and I am a man of my word. And if you would ever like to meet on a zoom meet so that you can see me apologize to you face to face, my offer will always stand. I watched a show called Redemption Project with Van Jones on CNN a few years ago. He brought the families of murder victims together with the killer for closure and to get answers to questions that they had. It was an amazing show and so many people wanted to do it. It became all about healing. So I want to offer you the same over a zoom meet. Allow me the chance to see your face, for you to see mine when I apologize to you. If you say no, it's ok but my offer will always stand. I wish I had our old school photo's so I could look at the class ones and try to remember you. Please feel free to try to make me remember if you'd like. But when my mom died, all of that stuff that she saved was discarded. Your post robbed me of sleep last night. I know I hurt you and I don't ever want to hurt another person again so writing you was so very important to me. I am sending this to you in any way that I can. Even if you don't forgive me, please email me and let me know you read this. I am sorry Tanya Corsner, I am sorry for hurting you, I am sorry for being such a negative impact in your life and I am happy that you did not let my selfish actions ruin your life. I am a very big believer in the following statements:
1) People should be defined by who they are, not who they were
2) You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done
3) If you listen to a witness, you are a witness
4) Who we are does not have to define who we are going to be, its a choice
5) We all make choices in life to heal or to hurt, I have chosen to heal
6) When you leave this earth you want to know that you made a difference in the lives of others
7) There's nothing more liberating than fighting for a cause bigger than yourself
These are some sayings I read, admired and try to live by daily. So please know I am not that little monster I once was. Alot of people never knew, realized or cared that I was a child victim of sex abuse and it's not an excuse but me being a rotten kid had alot to do with that. It's not something men talk about so it took me many many years to work through. But there is no excuse for my behavior and Tanya Corsner, please know, I am very sorry. I hope you will accept my apology.
I think I have bored you long enough. Take very good care of yourself and you are always free to email me. Or you can send a letter if you'd like to Rober Pezzeca #DX1148; Smart Comm/Pa DOC; SCI Forest; Po Box 33028; St. Petersburg, Florida 33733. All Pa state prison mail goes to a company in florida though we are not in florida. Thank you fo revealing your pain to me, I have alot of work to do in order to find the forgiveness I hope for one day.
I am not my crime, I have grown to become so much more
ps: My sister found this address for you. So I am mailing this to you on 3/15. Tanya, please know that I am sorry and if you need to, please feel free to remind me of how I was a piece of garbage. I am not that person anymore. And your comments on my blog have bothered me because I didn't realize I was that rotten of a kid. I struggle to remember those days. If you're interested, I would honestly like to hear from you. Take care and stay safe. I had the virus and it almost killed me. I hope this letter reaches you and I hope that you can forgive me . If you'd like to talk further, please feel free to email me at any time. I am a mess but I work hard and I have 1 goal and thats to be the best man I can be so Ican hopefully be free one day to help be there for my daughter. Sorry I've gotten to rambling again. Take care and thank you for reading this. If this doesn't reach you, I will put it on my blog as well.
2022 aug 4
2022 mar 2
2021 jun 10
2021 apr 3
2021 jan 25
2021 jan 6