Don't you know that a number of endless strangers believe in my ability but not those closest to me. This pains me greatly but how can I change such a fact that may seem so irrelevant in the eyes of so many that are closest to me. I find myself greatly discouraged and outraged somewhat but the lack of opportunity open to me. I can't find an editor or publisher willing to even offer simple writer's guidelines for a manuscript submission. This is where it all begins. Every great piece of work started with someone submitting them and someone else agreeing to accept the work. I know that my work is good enough for the market but it's just a question of someone accepting it. This thought is very frustrating in its entirety. I have put too much hard work into this novel and it's my greatest single accomplishment. Most everything else that I have attempted in my I have either quit or failed. But my drive and determination to succeed with this book is above and beyond the normal level. Trust me when I tell you it's not for selfish gain that I want this success so badly. I just want to do good at something that I know I am good at. Writing is that thing I have always been good at. But it has become more than that - it has become my passion for so many reasons. My children - Talis, Zander, Thor, Loki, and Ryo don't know me but I want to leave them something to remember me by so that they know I did something for them. Most people would not think in the same manner that I do but I breathe my children everyday though I can no longer remember what they look like or what their voices sound like, and this pains me greatly. I live and breathe for their sake even if I can't be a part of their lives. I love them when I wake and when I sleep with everything in me. But I won't dwell on something that causes me so much pain. I would rather focus on this novel. It's not your typical Vampire novel. Yeah it has killing when Fallun hunts but that is not the primary focus of the story. I'm not going to go into great detail, you will just have to read it for yourself to find out!!!