August 8, 2012

Howdy. I haven't been posting anything in quite a while. I've been depressed and miserable as hell and don't want to do anything but lay in bed and read. On that note, I must recommend the Game of Thrones series by George R.R. Martin. They are excellent and a great series of books.

Anyway... life sucks. I've been so upset that my stomach has been acting up. When things are bad they affect me physically. I can't help it. My cellie has been a complete asshole lately. Just last week we were getting along fine. Then he starts this shit where he puts his chair in the middle of the doorway and gets pissed off when I need to get into or out of the cell. Duh... it's a damn door, asshole! Then two nights ago, he gets upset about my staying up late for the first time in all these months and tells me I need to go. I have a bottom bunk pass and told him there are no bottom bunks. Yesterday, he ended up finding a guy to switch with me on Thursday after his cellie leaves, so I need to move. This prick came from a USP and thinks he's still a "shot caller" (a guy who "calls the shots" for a gang). He is such an asshole. I think last night was the first night in several that I could sleep soundly—probably just from knowing that I would be out of there soon. The only problem with the new cell is that it doesn't have a desk, and who knows when I'll be able to get one.

On another note, I don't think I'll be going to the Wicca group anymore. The new guy who came has also been a real jerk about things—he "volunteered" me to lead the last service and I don't know what I'm doing and didn't want to do it, and when I said so he claimed that I had never said that even though I had. Then when another guy wants to do the service, the same guy claims that he can't tell him what to do, even though he told me the whole process. It sounds retarded written down like that, I'm sure, but in any case, I don't want any part of such games.

I'm so very depressed. I've got so much work to do, so many letters to write, and all I want to do is stay in bed.

k