June 11, 2011

Father's Day Letter from Marcus Austin

by Marcus Austin


[Photo of a young woman sitting beside a cute girl. They're both smiling at the camera in what looks like a camera studio. Another photo of the same woman holding an infant girl is further down the page. Another photo of the same woman and girl is included and dated 04/22/2007.]

Dear Tikiya,
I wanted to start this letter by wishing you a sincere and heartfelt Happy Father's Day! I need to also state the truth of the mater that I love you very much. I thank the Lord for you because you're the other gift that HE's given me in this lifetime, and I'll forever praise HIM for the sacrifice of HIS son and HIS daughter... you!

Well, sometimes I feel lost in translation and this is one of those times. I don't have to tell you that I grew up without some important things and that has had a lasting effect on who I am as a man. I haven't really had a life (yet) due to the mistakes I've made in my past. So with this letter, I want you to be empathetic to my life and walk in my shoes, just for a minute, and try to feel where I'm coming from.

Years ago, I couldn't put these kinds of thoughts together because I hadn't come into who Jesus Christ created me to be. I was too busy focusing on some things that wasn't worth my attention. I was designed to have your back, be loyal to you, and build a family with the woman I've loved from day one! I can't figure out sometimes some things that puzzle me, but in the same breath I can't put a price tag on what you do for me physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally! You've held onto my hand tightly for so many years, like a mother does for her child, because you know that I need guidance every now and then. :)

Tikiya, you are the father figure that I always needed, the brother I never had. You're the God faring Christian woman who prayed for my soul and spirit because you truly understand that this fight is much bigger than this flesh. You are the little sister that I sadly left behind and i'm so sorry for the wait. But thank you, Jesus, I'm on my way!

Thanks for being the good example I needed to look at for what it is I need to see. You've earned the right to be loved and honored by me. Your loyalty for me has always reinforced what you have forever tried to teach me! Thank you for your time and your patience and your smile and your smell. You always smell good! Thank you very much for your discipline. You're the best psychiatrist I've ever talked to, and I won't ever give that up. That's a privilege I'll never let go of. You babied me like a spoiled child because you felt that I deserved the ultimate best! Right? Other than coming to Jesus, you've influenced my biggest accomplishment. You're the closest friend that I ever wanted next to me. You're the woman who took time to know me and to nurture who I am, in the ways a young man's wife is supposed to do!

You mean so much to a bad boy like me. When you're mad at me (or disappointed by me), all I want is for you to whisper "I love you and I forgive you, Marcus" because without hearing that whisper, I can't forgive myself. And that's something I have always needed!

Thank you for letting me share not only your life, but those of our two daughters. I love them. Thank you for making me a father. Because being a player for me was lonely, and that's what real. My true needs weren't being met, you know how it is (don't you)?

I love you! And if nobody else EVER understands this, the two of us, I'm good wit' that. A circle can only be broken from the inside out not the outside in. So my circle with you will NEVER be broken! Stay with Jesus Christ, and everything will be blessed.

I love you, I miss you, and I'm on my way. Pray for me, our children, our dreams, future, and sanctification. Bye for now, Tikiya.

your husband

Marcus L'Angelo


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