Daily Journal
November 5-8, 2012

Monday November 5, 2012 5:08am: Just sitting here having a cup of coffee, waiting on breakfast. Already made my bunk, cleaned my cell, washed up, got the laundry bag ready to go out. That's so sad that that little 3 year old boy got killed in that Pittsburgh zoo yesterday by those wild dogs. I don't understand why no one jumped down there and put themselves between the dog and the boy. Oh well. Some can, some can't, some will, some won't. Here's breakfast.
8:00am: Just sitting here trying to get motivated. Damn depression is messing with me. Sometimes you can just be going along through the day, and all of a sudden it feels like a dark shadow has fallen over you. In many ways I'll be glad when this life is over. I envy the dead, for their suffering has ended. Life is a mess - it's one continuous cycle of pain, escaped with short moments of bliss.
1:26pm: They just ran recreation. I can't go because I'm still on this heightened security because Warden Barry V. Reddish is a sorry ass criminal who had his stinking lowlife henchmen falsify state documents. Lowlife scumbag. He needs to eat sh**! I can't stand his lowlife unethical dishonorable lying ass!

Tuesday November 6, 2012 6:32am: Sitting here watching CBS News, waiting for them to pick up the breakfast trays, which they just did. I didn't get any mail last night. Not sure what I will do today. Woke up again with thoughts of dying. I really need to get back on the Prozac and soon. I can't keep doing this. And I seem to get more depressed with the holiday seasons. Yesterday the Warden, assistant wardens and a bunch of white shirts came through while everyone else was

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one was from someone new. So I'll get to writing shortly and then do some painting and somewhere in between read my sports paper.
2:31pm: I just wrote a piece called "My Hell". I was doing some painting. Just trying to pass some time. I hate this f-ing cell! This cage is just hell on earth and it eats me up sitting in here. I've watched men lose their minds in these cages after decades of sitting here, watching men be marched off to the execution chamber and murdered under the mantle of justice. All of this begins to mentally break you down. Witnessing men that you know and have lived around for decades be marched off to their death! Knowing that you face this same fate. Yeah - they really toy with the human mind. And call themselves civilized. Humanity my ass! Sometimes I wonder just how much more I can take, or how much more I want to take. 'Cause this is not living, this is existing. I'm waiting to die. Why prolong it? Damn good question. I sit here and look at this nasty ass cell, scarred up walls, just one of the many cells that have held me captive for 23 years. Damn! That just about says it all. I need to do some painting. I'm thinking too much.
5:14pm: I just finished eating. I'm fixing to call it a day. Lay back, watch the news, world news then a few reruns and then The Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, hopefully get some mail and go to sleep. Right now I need to wash some clothes.