Reply ID: wdp8 11-11

Young Will,

I know that I just replied to your 10-23 post just a couple of days ago, but I feel like there's much more to say about your last three words: "I feel powerless". Of course you do. Me too. Proverb 29:18 sez: "Where there's no vision, the people perish". What do you think that means?

Did I tell you in my previous reply that I wish you would list everything you can think of for which to be grateful? I would truly love to read that! There is a really awesome phenomena in the causation of WHATEVER goes into your thoughts tends to return again as some condition. Therefore it is prudent to consider what conditions your thoughts are creating, son. For if you say "I am unhappy" (or "powerless"), and continue to say it, then your subconscious mind says: "Yes, you are unhappy", and keeps you unhappy as long as you say it - for thoughts are things, and an active thought will provide an active condition. This is a phenomena of thought for good - or evil. (So be good for goodness' sake).

Talk about feeling powerless - how do you think I feel in here? BUT, I am grateful that I haven't completely lost my mind in this hell-hole over the years, so that I can be here for you kidz and maybe offer some insightful encouragement to help you through your rough patches in life - and sometimes even enjoy the highlights you share with me. I'm grateful for this pen and paper and the means to communicate with you. I'm very grateful that you don't resent me for failing you. I'm grateful that although you kidz have had your share of problems in life, you are all healthy - and capable yet to make your lives what you'd like them to be. It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are. I'm grateful that your adopted parents chose to be responsible adults who accepted the challenge to raise you kidz together, rather than walk away and let the foster care system separate you all and toss you from home to home until you turned 18, much worse off from the experience. I'm most grateful for all that your mother, Debbie, added to my life. I'm grateful you all are such a major part of my life experience.

Those are some of the things I'm always grateful for, son. Sure, I miss you all so much that it hurts, but you all made my life so much more richer just by being part of it.

Of course, I could write pages of all my regrets and what I wish I should'a - would'a - could'a done differently, but what purpose would that serve? Our life experience is what it is, and ultimately makes us who we are... so I'm just grateful that we can share what we share of ourselves with each other.

Onto another topic; I don't know anything about your parents, except that you kidz have had your problems with them. I wonder if you guys ever considered them as individuals (instead of simply 'your' parents), living their own lives in which they included you all. Do you honestly think either of them ever really mean to be mean to any of you? Should I take it personal that they've forbade communication between us, or should I accept that they intended to "protect" you all from my criminal mind - and confusing influence? Don't you think that they've tried to do their best - even when you guys gang up on them, or make them feel like failures? Honestly, dude, do you at all appreciate their influence upon your lives? Do they have careers which has helped keep a roof over your head? Have they seen that you were schooled, clothed, etc.? Have they managed all this poorly - or well, would you say? Were they good role-models of responsible adults? Do you think you kidz would have been better off with your mom, Debbie?

You don't need to answer that one, son - I'm only saying that maybe it's better to be grateful for the benefits you've been afforded in your lives, rather than resent all the responsibilities (restrictions?) that come along with them. Would you raise kidz that weren't yours to raise, any differently?

In closing this, let me suggest one of the many ways to keep you from feeling 'powerless': Simply do your best, buddy. Do what is Right in YOUR OWN LIFE, and you'll reap those rewards along with setting the example (role model) others will emulate. You'll most often only suffer disappointments - powerlessness - when you pre-appoint others to live up to your expectations of them. Remember that.