SAH,

I received a response to a post I sent to you dated 12/24/2012. I'm glad to see you've taken my offer of being a "listening ear". I've learned that in this chaotic world we live, oftentimes a non-judgmental listening ear can be like a breath of fresh air... I'm happy to provide that to you.

It sounds like your blogging experience hasn't been too great with BTB. I can tell you from first hand experience that most incarcerated people have a "ME" way of thinking. It doesn't even resonate, with most incarcerated people, that our actions affect so many others than ourselves.

I did a program in prison and I'd advise you look into it. It's called "Restorative Justice Program". The program involved victims of crimes ranging from rape, murder, and burglary, offenders of various crimes, and people of different social standings in various communities.

The program CHANGED MY LIFE because I saw the hurt and pain in the victims' eyes and realized the ripple effect of my actions and those around me. We all came together, shared stories, and healed in ways I didn't know were possible.

The program taught sympathy as being SORRY FOR SOMEONE while empathy is being SORRY WITH SOMEONE... walking in their shoes, so to speak.

You mentioned "CLOSURE" and the program taught us to use the word "RESTORED". Closed doesn't mean that any change has been made... If a house burns on the inside and all the doors and windows are boarded once the fire is put out, the boards "CLOSING" the house from entry doesn't mean the carpets aren't still burnt or walls still blacked from smoke... the house is CLOSED but the damage still exists.

However, if we go in and RESTORE the carpets, paint the walls, get new appliances etc., we've made an effort in moving forward. I'm sure NOTHING can ever replace what you lost but surely something can help you move forward?

You're more of a warrior than you think... It's so easy to dwindle away in misery when faced with a situation like yours but you seek any peace you're able to cling to and only a warrior could do that.

So many answers you'll never get but I ASSURE you that the person you lost wants you to be happy, loved, and honored for being an amazing mom, friend, and person. They don't want to see you hurt, miserable, and laid up with a vodka bottle... You're just way stronger than that.

I believe in life we demonstrate the TRUE US when we show up in life's worst moments. Using myself for example... I can say "F" it, I'm black, a felon, and I been down over 10 years so I don't got a chance at playin' it straight out there in the free world. Or I can learn from my mistakes, get out and be productive out there... It's what I make of it.

Your situation is different because it was so much hurt caused by no fault of your own... even still, SAH, show the world the woman you are... You say you wish there was a site that suited those in your situation, then I say if there's not then start one. I don't have all the answers you seek but I do know you're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit and I'm sure you'll find a way through the hurt.

I'm going to wrap this up but I hope I've said something that stands out to you. I hope to hear from you soon and in the meantime I want you to know I'M SORRY for all that you've been through and experienced and I hope I'm able to help you in any way you need it. Take care out there.

Respectfully,

Write me back at:

Marcus T. Rogers #377571
SCI
100 Corrections Drive
Stanley, WI 57468

PS: Be sure to look into "Restorative Justice".

Write me soon, OK?