Love Hurts
by Jeremy Pinson
Although rare people do fall in love in prison, I have unfortunately fallen under the spell of this powerful emotion. Sometimes I think love is a mental illness.
When this person calls my name I smile, when he sends me notes of love I smile. There are a million other things he does that make me smile. The other day a White supremacist was speaking to us both and true to form he asks us "you know how them fags talk right?" And me and him bust out laughing hysterically. The White supremacist smiled uncertainly not at all aware of how we'd just shared a private joke at his ignorance.
I wake up thinking about him and many things remind me of our secret love. Sadly we can't hold or kiss one another. Any form of deeper intimacy is forbidden. So we smile together, share jokes only we hear, and open our souls to one another in a way bonding deeper than those who can share real intimacy. But though he is a source of bliss, this love thing hurts too - worse than a gunshot wound. I wouldn't trade it for anything though.
1/26/13
Jeremy Pinson
2014 mar 11
|
2014 mar 11
|
2014 mar 7
|
2014 mar 7
|
2013 nov 14
|
2013 nov 11
|
More... |
Replies (1)
When I first came to BTB what I was hoping to find was some sunshine in the darkness. I wanted to find everyday people who smiled and laughed and cried just as I do. I knew the uplifting moments would be mixed with pain and heartache, defeat and misery but it was traces of the positive side of human existence that I'd mostly hoped to find here.
Reading this post tonight has lifted my heart and soul! Your words paint the same picture in my mind as does a flower seed finding a place to bloom in the crack of a pavement. Love is many, many things, I even perhaps agree with your mental illness analogy :) Thank you for showing me love can blossom and etch out an existence absolutely anywhere!
You are such a giving & loving man and after all you've endured, and continue to, I hope you take the power of such positive emotions and use them to build your inner strength. Thank you so much for sharing, you warm my heart my friend!