I've taken a break from writing because a few things in here have occupied my mind. Even though I've been locked up just shy of 10 years, it's still hard for me to truly wrap my mind around my sentence as it stands today: Life. Even just typing that seems like some plot in a crime novel. The question I continue to ask is what is next for me. One thing I know for sure is I want to deter as many people away from prison. When you receive time like this you always hear 'don't give up' and things of that nature. What exactly does that entail? Is that just some rhetoric said when nothing else will suffice because in all actuality all is lost? I am not comfortable &/or happy here. I know no one can make it through this unscathed. These are the things that plague my mind every now and then and I try to stay away from this thinking because at the wrong time can be very depressing. I've won some battles in this war but I am losing the war for my personal freedom, without a doubt. The David and Goliath statement would be a major understatement. I was just watching our President say Syria's alleged use of chemical weapons was basically inhumane. I can't help but wonder one day after I'm dead and long gone will public opinion change and say life sentances are wrong and inhumane in more cases than now. How can you in good concience say this is rehabilitation with zero chance to show and prove a mental shift in thinking? A more fitting title is something like 'society's vengence', because that is what this is. You hear throughout your lifetime how flawed man is but when those flaws are shown it's as if everyone is flawless and without any sins. If you don't know anyone incarcerated or have only been on the receiving end of crime, your views MIGHT be a little biased. I challenge you to meet more people and to venture out of your comfort zone. This reminds me of a wuote by some unknown author that says 'open your mind and your wings will grow and then you can fly'. Please don't misunderstand me, I am NOT leading some defeated life where I walk around defeated all day or anything like that. I remain hopeful as ever for the most part but I try to look at things form all angles and to consider all possibilities. On occasion I find myself in deep thought about many things like life, freedom, justice, equality and death. I don't know what fate has chosen for me. I may live inside these walls until I'm 80 or 90 years old. I may be free one day in the coming decades, or I could die a bloody death in one of these Ohio prisons. Only time will reveal in time. Wherever my path leads me I will continue to strive for perfection in myself and manifest some form of significance in this world. i can't help but be in awe of people before me and some [?] who have left such an impact on countless people here in America and abroad. I'm going to bring this to a conclusion for now and I want to leave you with one final quote 'to err is human, to forgive divine'.