REPLY ID: je73

9/13/13: 7am: LISTENING TO: "KNOCKIN ON HEAVENS DOOR" BY; BOB DYLAN
THANX FOR YOUR COMMENT BILL. YOU COMMENTED ON WHAT I WROTE ABOUT BEING
IN THE HOLE. ONE THING I LEFT OUT THAT ELUDED ME BECAUSE I HAVEN'T
BEEN IN THE HOLE SINCE 2010 BUT NATIONAL STATISTICS ESTIMATE THAT ABOUT
ONE THIRD OD ALL INMATES IN THE HOLE ARE MENTALLY, HOW DO YOU SAY THIS
CORRECTLY, CHALLENGED? I'VE SEEN MANY MEN WHO WERE MENTALLY RETARDED,
SOME TO THE POINT OF ACTING LIKE AN ACTUAL CHILD, I'VE SEEN MEN WITH
DOWN SYNDROME, MEN WHO EAT THEIR OWN FECES, WE EVEN HAVE A GUY HERE
WHO GOES OUTSIDE EVERY DAY AND EATS GRASS. HE'S KNOWN AS GRASS EATER
KEVIN OR JUST CRAZY KEV. HE LOVES TO RUN AND EAT GRASS. THATS IT. HE
TALKS TO NO ONE. THE HOLE WILL BREAK YOU MENTALLY. IT YOU STAY THERE
LONG ENOUGH, IT WILL MESS WITH YOUR MIND. NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE IS
LED TO BELIEVE BY POLITICIANS OR BY THE DEPT. OF CORRECTIONS OF BY
THE COURTS. PRISON IS NOT ABOUT HELPING OR REHABILITATION. IT'S TO
PUNISH AND MAKE MONEY. IT COSTS YOU (ALL TAXPAYERS) OVER $1 BILLION
PER YEAR FOR THE PA D.O.C. BUDGET BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE GETTING
RICH FROM IT. I HAVE A 6TH GRADE EDUCATION. BUT THERE WAS A PROGRAM
IN THE BUCKS COUNTY JAIL. IT WAS CALLED V.I.T.A. AND A VOLUNTEER CAME
IN AND SHE HELPED ME STUDY AND SHE, JEANNIE, SHE SPENT COUNTLESS HOURS
OF HER OWN SPARE TIME TEACHING ME SO THAT I COULD PASS THE GED, AND
I DID WHEN I WAS ABOUT 19. I DO HAVE ALOT OF COMMON SENSE BILL. I'VE
LEARNED TO APPRECIATE LIFE, I'VE LEARNED TO RESPECT PEOPLE, EVEN IF
I DON'T LIKE THEM. NOT JUST OTHER PRISONERS, STAFF AS WELL. I AM VERY
WELL LIKED BY ALOT OF STAFF IN HERE. MANY YEARS AGO IT WAS RARE FOR
INMATES AND STAFF TO TALK AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. BUT IN HERE
IN THIS DAY & AGE, THING CHANGE. I KNOW MANY GUARDS, WE TALK OF OUR
FAMILIES, WE SOCIALIZE. THEY'RE NOT BREAKING THEIR RULES AND I'M NOT
BREAKING OURS. I TRY MY BEST TO TREAT OTHERS AS I WANT TO BE TREATED
IN RETURN. AND WHEN YOU HAVE A CELL SEARCH, IT ALWAYS HELPS TO KNOW
WHO IS SEARCHING YOUR CELL, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE A GOOD RAPPORT WITH
THEM. I HAVE THE WILL TO PROTECT MYSELF FROM HARM, I CAN & WILL FIGHT
IF IT MEANS PROTECTING MYSELF FROM SOMEONE IN HERE BUT I DON'T HAVE
THE DESIRE OR URGE FOR VIOLENCE ANYMORE. ALMOST EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER
CARED ABOUT IN LIFE HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM ME. AS FOR MY LEGAL SITUATION,
YES, I DO HAVE A LIFE SENTENCE WITH NO PAROLE. I KNOW MY FATE, I DON'T
LIKE IT, I DON'T IT BUT I KNOW WHAT IT IS. A AM ALOT WISER NOW THEN
WHEN I WAS THAT 21 YEAR OLD KID YOU SAW ON THE TV. THANK YOU FOR
NOTICING IN MY WORDS. THE ONE THING THAT KINDA TUGS AT ME IS I DIDN'T
COMMIT MY CRIME FOR THE REASON THAT THEY SAID. ROBBERY, THATS A LOAD
OF CRAP. JUST A WAY OF GETTING A CONVICTION. SO MANY JAIL HOUSE SNITCHES
LIED AND SAID THEM I TOLD THEM, SO MANY PEOPLE MADE DEALS TO TESTIFY
AGAINST ME. THEIR MOTIVE WAS A LOAD OF GARBAGE. THEY KNEW IT. ONE OF
THE DETECTIVES WHO ARRESTED ME EVEN SAID HE KNOW THE MOTIVE WAS WRONG
BUT THIS IS WHAT THE D.A.'S OFFICE NEEDED FOR A WIN. HE SAID MY CRIME
WASN'T THE BIG DEAL, HE SAID I SHOCKED THE COMMUNITY FOR EVERYTHING
AFTER, AND THATS WHY THE D.A.'S OFFICE PURSUED ME SO HARD. I WAS NEVER
EVEN OFFERED A DEAL. THATS UNHEARD OF. THE DETECTIVE SAID THE D.A.'S
OFFICE WOULDN'T OFFER ME A DEAL AND THAT THEY WANTED THE DEATH PENALTY.
THE COP SAID HE SAW A KID WHO MADE A REALLY BAD CHOICE. AND HE WAS
RIGHT. I WAS A SCARED KID WHO DID WHAT I THOUGHT I HAD TO DO AT THE
TIME. AND THESE WERE MISTAKES I MUST LIVE WITH. JUST THIS MORNING,
I STOPPED WRITING THIS AND WENT TO BREAKFAST. ON THE WAY BACK I WATCHED
4 YOUNG BLACK KIDS, ALL DOING LIFE, THEY BEAT UP AN 80 YEAR OLD MAN
IN THE HALL WAY AND TOOK HIS COMMISSARY. THEY WERE CAUGHT ON CAMERA
AND LOCKED IN THE HOLE A FEW HOURS LATER BUT THAT 80 YEAR OLD MAN WHO
HAD HIS JAW BROKEN, INTERNAL BLEEDING, THAT COULD BE ME ONE DAY. AND
IT'S SCARY. PRISON DOESN'T PROTECT THE ELDERY. IT'S UP TO THE ONES
WHO CAN TO MAKE SURE THE ELDERLY ARE LEFT ALONE. PRISON CAN BE A VERY
VIOLENT & DANGEROUS PLACE. THIS PRISON IS LESS VIOLENT THAN OTHERS
IN PENNSYLVANIA BUT WE STILL HAVE OUR SHARE OF RAPES, BEATINGS, THEFTS,
SUICIDES. BUT THE AVERAGE PERSON DOESN'T CARE. THEY SAY WE ARE VIOLENT
CRIMINALS WHO DESERVE WHAT WE GET. THEY SAY OUR VICTIMS DIDN'T GET
ANY COMPASSION FROM US SO WHY SHOULD WE BE ANY DIFFERENT. PRISON WILL
CHANGE YOU IN HERE. IT HAS DEFINITELY INSPIRED CHANGE IN ME AND MADE
ME A BETTER MAN, BUT WHAT GOOD DOES THAT DO WHEN I AM IN THE MOST
VIOLENT ATMOSPHERE THERE IS? I COULD GO ON AND ON BUT I WANT TO GO
OUTSIDE AND GET SOME FRESH AIR. I QUIT SMOKING IN 2006 AND THIS PLACE
HAS HUNDREDS OF CHAIN SMOKERS IN IT. THANX FOR WRITING BILL. TAKE CARE
& ENJOY THE FRESH AIR OUT THERE, MOST OF ALL, ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS
IN LIFE, WHEN YOU LOSE THEM, IT'S PRETTY DEVASTATING. CIAO.