9/11/13: 6:30am: Listening to: You Think You Know, by Device

I have 2 comments with the same reply ID code number so I hope the following 2 ladies (Blue Lotus & Blondie) get this response. First is Blue Lotus. Let me say that out of the family I have and little friends, I was not successful in getting anyone to look my injuries up, so thank you for helping a complete stranger. I have since learned that my hamstring has healed and I am dealing with a herniated disc which is causing severe sciatica. I wrote to a few doctors begging for some help so that I can learn more about my injury and how to help treat/heal it. My entire life I criticized people who claimed they had back pain and hindered them from doing certain things. And I will never do that again. Now that I am experiencing it, I know how painful it is and how just bending over & touching my knees hurts. I am going to take these hamstring exercises and stretches that you sent to me and begin doing them every day. I have been stretching more and more since the medical dept. says that's all I can do for the sciatica but it just doesn't seem to help. But I won't give up. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to look this up and send it to me. I hope you'll continue to read what I write and I look forward to any future posts. Take care and keep readin'. Ciao.

Blondie, hi. I just got your post last night. I try to respond to every comment that's left for me because people took the time to write it and I feel it would be a bit ignorant not to reply. But let's face it, I'm lonely and in prison. Plus, I enjoy writing. I am so grateful to Between the Bars for giving me this opportunity. Well, you're a Dodger fan and the only thing I like about them is their color, blue, my favorite color. But we just gave you Michael Young and I was not happy about losing him. He is a great player and I did not want to see him go. And like I said, we gave him to you. All we got was a minor leaguer. You said you're an internet junkie, so that means you are good on the computer. I recently submitted a post asking if anyone with computer knowledge could help me find my step mom and my 2 half sisters. Did you read that? If so, any chance you could give it a try? I've never met them and I don't even know if they know who I am. Our father was killed when they were 5 & 2 and I never lived with them. Let me know. I can't do it myself or I would. We have no computer access in here. I am a Phillies fan. I've grown to love the game of baseball and I tell the football fans all the time, if you could play football every day for 6 months, they would never sell out the stadiums. Football is only as big as it is because it's once a week and on a day when most people have off. The Dodgers do have their division locked in. The NL Central is an interesting race to watch though. In the NL, I would only want the Dodgers to win and that's because Michael Young deserves a championship. In the AL I would want an underdog to win. My team is out of it now. About my crime, I have no problems talking about my crime and as an internet junkie you probably read about me but I don't know if discussing it with people on line is a smart decision. I was guilty, I didn't deny it. But I did deny why they said I committed the crime. And 15 years later, I still deny their reason for it. If you ever decide that you want to talk about it, I'd be fine with it in a letter but I just don't feel right about it on the computer. I don't know the defining moment that put me on this path. I think about that a lot. Where did I go wrong, I ask myself? I've been on this path since I was a child. I was never shown much love, I was not disciplined normally. I was beat or ignored. When my parents weren't high, I had a great mom. My dad (step dad) was an alcoholic so I never had a real father figure. I went to jail very young, 12 years old, for stealing. I was left there to be taught a lesson. But I was 12. This was the time to love me, protect me, teach me. But instead I was in a violent juvy facility and I had to fight for my survival every week for over 2 years. I was a little Italian kid in a jail of over 3,000 kids from cities all over New Jersey. My point is, I was desensitized at a young age so I became rebellious. I grew up fighting. I was a bad kid. Then I met Justine. I was robbing stores, breaking into houses to stay off the streets and that's when I met Justine. I fell in love immediately. I wanted to be good, do good, make her proud of me. Her opinion mattered to me when no one else's never did. But maybe I was already ruined. Being locked up, it ruins you. Very few people can turn their lives around. I was in no way perfect but I tried. I was 20, still didn't know how to drive, too many years in jail, never had a real job so working for the first time was very hard. I don't blame my life on any 1 event. Going to jail at such a young age, having to join a gang in a juvenile prison so that I was safe and that I wouldn't be raped or sold like some of the other small white kids, it made me violent. It made me rebel against anyone who attempted to order me around. Prison does not rehabilitate. It does not help. It is here to punish and make billions of dollars, that's it. I tell you this because some people are under the guise that it is here to help, rehabilitate, but that's false. I have grown into a better man than I ever imagined possible, the family I had, the life I dreamed of, they are gone forever. And not a day goes by that I don't wish this life would be over soon but each day I try to find 1 thing to make my day worthwhile. Well, I want to get this in the mail so I will stop boring you. Take care, Blondie, and if you ever get bored, give me a holler. Thanx for listening, I look forward to hearing from you again. Ciao.