June 1, 2013
From Prison Dad by Robert Pezzeca (author's profile)

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May 14, 2013: Yesterday I learned of the death of a friend. After over 30 years in prison, a man I called a friend hung himself in his cell. I sat awake last night wondering what went wrong in his life that it made him think that he had no options left. Jon Yount died over a year ago at another prison but I was still sad when I learned of it yesterday. Jon was kicked out of this prison a few years ago for filing a lawsuit against the phone company for over charging our families for collect calls. I have only been in prison for just about 15 years now. It's unlikely that I'll ever get out and I have seen most of my friends abandon me. Most of my family, and as each year passes, more and more of them forget I exist. I have very few friends left, but maybe being a friend to someone in prison is too hard? I know it's not easy but when you care about someone, you make sacrifices, you don't just abandon them and forget they exist, but now , maybe for some, it's the only answer. I recently had a physical. The doctor was unwilling to discuss my blood work, he only said everything was within normal ranges, except for my cholesterol. The good and bad were both below the normal average. He spent about 10 minutes examining me and half of that was spent on my chest. He listened, and listened and listened some more. Finally he said I have a heart murmur. He was not sure how bad but he said it could be very serious, but it could also be minor. I'm not really sure what a heart murmur is but I began to think, could this be my end, could this be what finally ends my life sentence? A part of me doesn't want to die but there's a part of me that does. I have very few friends left, I have no idea where my daughter is, the only family who still speak to me in this country are my parents & brother. Is this me just feeling sorry for myself, I don't know. But what I do know is that I don't want this to be my life forever. I would rather die than live here for 40, 50+ years. Prison is a very hard and lonely place. Maybe it's supposed to be this way. We are here for punishment but sometimes it just gets to be unbearable for some. I wonder when that day will come for me. I once thought of myself as a strong person, but that was when i had the love and support of family & friends. We don't have much to look forward to in here. But our families and friends are what keep us going while being in here. If you've never been to prison, it's hard to understand. I was recently asked what do I write in this blog, and I explained a little bit but I was told that maybe the readers want to hear something specific. So if that's true, let me know. Do you want to hear about prison, life in here, politics, ways to make things better, effects of prison on society, whatever. You're the reader, I'm the one with the experience and knowledge. So tell me what you want to hear. I'l leave it at that for now. But before I do go, I want to say that Lisa is preparing herself for a pretty long journey. She will start at the coast of Spain and walk 850 km to the french border. For a 22 year old, I am very impressed and proud of her. Stay safe & have fun sweetie. I swish I could be there with you. Ciao.

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Replies (19) Replies feed

melissaindc Posted 10 years, 11 months ago. ✓ Mailed 10 years, 10 months ago   Favorite
I'm sorry to hear about your friend, and I wanted you to know that someone out here read your words. I don't know if that is comforting or not, but I hope it is.

Blondie Posted 10 years, 10 months ago. ✓ Mailed 10 years, 10 months ago   Favorite
I'm glad I found this blog, i read an essay on "the huffington post" which lead me to "voices from solitary" which lead me here. I'm really enjoy reading all the posts I only wish they had a date and time. I'm sorry about your friend, my heart goes out to the people writing these entries. I'm fascinated and while I know something went wrong in your lives I can't help but want to give you all a hug and tell you, people out here are thinking about you and sending you love.

hannaBoe Posted 10 years, 10 months ago. ✓ Mailed 10 years, 10 months ago   Favorite
I really like reading your blog. I like to hear about prison life.
how do you keep your mind positive?
what do you concentrate your mind on?
Don't die! life is an opportunity to be better :)

ndschram Posted 10 years, 10 months ago. ✓ Mailed 10 years, 10 months ago   Favorite
I can't begin to understand what it is like in there but I am so grateful that you are willing to honestly share your experiences.

I am a musician that does occasional work in the prison systems. One of my lifetime goals is to bring a music curriculum to the entire national prison system. It seems impossible sometimes but I want to believe that it can offer people like yourself a reason to look forward.

The main idea is to have a number of instruments available to the incarcerated community (how this would work with security I have yet to figure out but I know it has ben successful in some prisons). Every 2 weeks there will be a group of professional musicians that will come teach lessons to each group of instruments. Additionally, there will be an ensemble (small orchestra, string quartet) for each of the musicians to play in and collaborate with their peers. Initially, I plan on using classical music as the main material but I worry that this might not resonate with everyone. Although, I do believe it to be some of the most expressive and heartfelt music in the world.

Do you think this is something that could help incarcerated people? What are your initial impressions? Am I so far removed from the people inside that I don't understand what you all really want/need? The last thing I want to do is begin a program that I believe in but doesn't actually address the needs of you all. Would anyone want to play classical music or would people people open-minded enough to explore different genres?

I'm laying it down heavy here but any thoughts you have would be very helpful. I noticed in your profile that you are a very artistic personality and I thought your insights could be invaluable.

Keep looking forward,
N

bluelotus Posted 10 years, 10 months ago. ✓ Mailed 10 years, 10 months ago   Favorite
Hi, I just wanted to let you know, a heart murmur is caused by extra blood flow through the heart or defective heart valves. Some murmurs are innocent and others are dangerous. Are you generally in good health otherwise? If so, try not to worry too much and just take good care of your health...exercise and try to eat healthy (i know thats hard in prison but just try to avoid the worst, such as sugary stuff or fizzy drinks, and get as much as healthy foods as possible, such as vegetables, eggs, nuts and pure water.

Robert Pezzeca Posted 10 years, 9 months ago.   Favorite
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Kenwhit54 Posted 10 years, 9 months ago. ✓ Mailed 10 years, 9 months ago   Favorite
Hey Robbie. I am a friend of Justin pazecca. We were away together and I wound up going back again and have been a state inmate. I empathize with what your going through. Although, when I was 20, I was more capable of handling time away. I had a drug problem at home and it was just me. Now that I have a family it was much, much harder. The difference between being away at 20 and being away at 25 is like night and day. This last bit of time I did was so stressful and hard. When I was 20 I could have done 20 years as long as I could have talked to some family occasionally. I am on parole after being away for 18 months. I got out In February. Every second of the 18 months was the hardest 18 months in my life. Seeing what I did to my family while being away hurt. I was helpless to fix it while I was away. So I ask you, Robbie, would your time be harder if you had a wealth of family and friends? Would it make your time more stressful? I know you may think about the good memories you've had with family and friends. But how do the harder times affect you? Are they harder because your away an can't help the way you could have at one time. ? I could be totally wrong but it's just food for thought. Take good care of yourself and focus on this next 24 hours and you can better your situation and circumstances. Oh yes and stay up too

Ken whittaker

Robert Pezzeca Posted 10 years, 8 months ago.   Favorite
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bluelotus Posted 10 years, 8 months ago. ✓ Mailed 10 years, 7 months ago   Favorite
Hi Robert,
You were asking about your injury and what you could do about it, so I looked it up on the internet and found this:

HEALING AND RECOVERY FOR HAMSTRING INJURIES

It is advised to seek medical advice to find out the extent of the damage. If it is only a minor tear a rehabilitation period may be all that is necessary, but this must be fully completed to achieve full recovery. As soon as the injury has happened, apply ice to the injured area, using a thin towel between ice and skin to prevent ice burn. Ice should be applied every two to three hours for the first two days to reduce pain and swelling. No weight should be put on the leg and you should rest with the leg elevated higher than he chest. This will enable blood and fluid to drain away from the hamstring injury. A bandage will give support and help reduce swelling, and the leg will feel more comfortable.

An important part of recovery is to start stretching exercises as soon as possible. If the strain is minor then exercising can start after two days from the injury happening. If there is still swelling and bruising, continue with the ice for one or two days until the swelling has disappeared.

Hamstring injuries can take a long time to heal and the risk of further injury becomes greater. However if full recovery is achieved and sport not resumed too early, the risk of further injury will be greatly reduced. Generally speaking overuse injuries tend to take longer to heal and recover. Depending on the extent of the injury a hamstring can recover within ten days or it can take up to three months.

HAMSTRING EXERCISES

It is important when you start stretching exercises that they are done every day, and when strengthening exercises are done, stretching must be done prior to these,ideally as part of the whole routine. If you have any tightness or stiffening of the hamstrings, try reducing the amount of exercises that you are doing, and if that doesn't`t work, perform stretching exercises only. It is important that the muscles feel loose and that there is no discomfort. Until your leg is ready for resuming your sport, fitness levels can be kept up by swimming.

STRETCHING YOUR HAMSTRING TO PREVENT INJURY

With your legs straight out in front of you, reach out with your hands and hold your feet, keeping your back straight and your head up. Move slowly and don`t `bounce`.When you feel the stretch hold this for five to ten seconds.

In a standing position, stand on one leg and place your other leg straight on a table or chair in front of you Lean forward and reach out to touch your foot again keeping you back straight and your head up. Hold this position when you feel the stretch and hold for about five to ten seconds.

Stand with you legs slightly apart and reach downwards to your ankles. Keep your back straight and you will feel the stretch. Hold this position for five to ten seconds.



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bluelotus Posted 10 years, 8 months ago. ✓ Mailed 10 years, 7 months ago   Favorite
(continuation of previous post)
Resistance exercises increase muscle tension and the joints do not have to move. Sit on the floor with you legs straight in front of you, knees bent, and then press your heel into the floor and count to five seconds. Always relax between each exercise.

Whilst sitting in a chair press you heel down into the floor and hold for five seconds. Again sitting in a chair, press your heal into the chair leg, hold for a count of five and then relax you leg.

Do the above exercise but while the heel is pushing against the chair leg, turn you foot into your other foot and feel the resistance, count to five and then relax.

Using weights for strength.

After your leg is stronger you can add some weights to build up more strength.

Firstly lay on your stomach and raise your leg about six inches. Do twenty lifts and then ten with a kilogram weight added to your leg.

Lay on your stomach and raise your leg by bending your knee as high as is comfortable and slowly lower to the floor. Do ten of these and then do ten with a kilogram weight added.

In a standing position put a kilogram weight on your ankle and raise your heel to touch your buttocks and lower being careful to keep a smooth slow action. Do twenty of these and then repeat with a two kilogram weight.

Preparing to restart you sport

Cycling, jogging, hopping and striding can all be done taking care to build up gradually. Running up stairs two steps at a time will build up strength and your stamina!

As long as care is taken and there is no discomfort and you resume your sport gradually, risk of further injury will be reduced.

Hope this is of some use to you!

Blondie Posted 10 years, 8 months ago. ✓ Mailed 10 years, 7 months ago   Favorite
Wow, thanks for mentioning me, very cool.
I hope this blog is somewhat healing for you just knowing that people are interested and care and wonder obout you.
I live in Los Angeles and a, a huge Internet junkie. The huffington post is a huge on line newspaper, internationally recognized and used to be owned by a woman I once worked for, arianna huffington. It's now owned by AOL.
You said you are an open book and seem interested in answering questions so I will ask a few.
Who's your sports team? We are huge dodger fans out here and very excited about their current run for the pennant. It seems like it could really happen. Exciting times for dodger fans.
Do you ever talk about your crime? How did you end up doing life in prison and what do you think was the defining moment in our life that put you on that path?

Take care and I look forward to answers and hope you find things to help you stay positive.
-blondie

Robert Pezzeca Posted 10 years, 7 months ago.   Favorite
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Robert Pezzeca Posted 10 years, 7 months ago.   Favorite
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bluelotus Posted 10 years, 6 months ago. ✓ Mailed 10 years, 6 months ago   Favorite
Hi Robert,

Here are some more exercises specifically aimed at a herniated disc and sciatica:

Leg pain or sciatica from a herniated disc is commonly caused by disc material protruding backwards and irritating or compressing a nerve root, which in turn causes pain to radiate along the sciatic nerve.
Sciatica Exercises for a Herniated Disc
Specific exercises for leg pain and other symptoms from a lumbar herniated disc are prescribed according to which positions will cause the patient's symptoms to move from the leg (or foot) and into the low back.

For many patients, getting the pain to move up from the leg to the low back is accomplished by getting into a backwards bending position, called extension exercises or press-ups.

The low back is gently placed into extension by lying on the stomach (prone position) and propping the upper body up on the elbows, keeping hips on the floor. This should be started slowly and carefully, since some patients cannot tolerate this position at first.
Hold the press-up position initially for five seconds, and gradually work up to 30 seconds per repetition. Aim to complete 10 repetitions.
After practicing this exercise, the spine specialist may recommend a more advanced form of the extension:

From the prone position (lying flat on the stomach), press up on the hands while the pelvis remains in contact with the floor (Figure 2). Keep the lower back and buttocks relaxed for a gentle stretch.
This position is typically held for 1 second, repeated 10 times.
If the patient is unable to lie flat, a similar exercise can be done standing by arching backward slowly with hands on hips (Figure 3). However, the prone position described above is usually preferred.

These extension exercises are done regularly, about every two hours. More importantly, the spine specialist may recommend that the patient with this condition should avoid getting into a forward flexed (bent over) position. This tends to counteract the effects of the extension exercises. The specialist may ask the patient to correct any forward flexed positions immediately by doing an extension exercise.

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bluelotus Posted 10 years, 6 months ago. ✓ Mailed 10 years, 6 months ago   Favorite
Advanced Sciatica Exercises for Abdominal Muscles and Back Muscles
As the patient’s pain works out of the lower extremity (leg) and centralizes in the low back, the exercises typically are advanced to strengthen the low back and abdominal muscles to prevent recurrences of sciatic pain caused by a herniated disc.

Low back muscle strengthening exercises:

Upper back extension. In the prone position with hands clasped behind the lower back, raise the head and chest slightly against gravity (Figure 4) while looking at the floor (stay low). Begin by holding position for 5 seconds, and gradually work up to 20 seconds. Aim to complete 8-10 repetitions.


In the prone position with the head and chest lowered to the floor, lightly raise an arm and opposite leg slowly, with the knee locked, 2 to 3 inches from the floor. Begin by holding position for 5 seconds, and complete 8 to 10 repetitions. As strength builds, aim to hold position for 20 seconds.
Abdominal muscle strengthening exercises:

Curl-ups.For the upper abdominals, the patient should lie on the back with knees bent, arms folded across the chest, and the pelvis tilted to flatten the back. Then curl-up lifting the head and shoulders from the floor. Hold for two to four seconds, then slowly lower to starting position. As strength builds, aim to complete two sets of ten curls.

Do not attempt to lift the head up too high, and bring the head and chest towards the ceiling. For patients with neck pain, place the hands behind the head to support the neck.


For the lower abdominals, tighten the lower stomach muscles and slowly raise the straight leg 8 to 12 inches from the floor, keeping the low back held flat against the floor. Hold leg raise for eight to 10 seconds, then slowly lower to starting position. As strength builds, aim to complete two sets of ten lifts.

I do hope that something will help to alleviate your pain...if you need any more info on anything else just let me know.
Take care,
Bluelotus

Robert Pezzeca Posted 10 years, 4 months ago.   Favorite
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Robert Pezzeca Posted 9 years, 6 months ago.   Favorite
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Bill Posted 9 years, 6 months ago. ✓ Mailed 9 years, 6 months ago   Favorite
Rob, unless she really has her heart set on a Shih Tzu, I'd tell her to check out other shelter options. I got my 3-year-old Lab at an SPCA. It was emaciated, with scars all over and many other signs of mistreatment, but one of my great joys has been getting it back in shape. Labs are the most loving dogs, great with kids. Just my opinion, but smaller dogs tend to be high-strung, always barking and high-maintenance. But no matter the type, definitely rescue a dog from a shelter. Bill

Robert Pezzeca Posted 9 years, 5 months ago.   Favorite
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