Sept. 15, 2013: Midnight: Listening to "Mama, I'm Comin' Home" by: Ozzy Osbourne

I couldn't sleep so here I am. I want to start this off with a message to my family and friends. My daughter will be 16 on October 16. She has been abandoned by her mother, and her mother's side of the family. She has no one in Ohio who cares about her. Since my family and friends read my blog, I hope weekly, I ask that any of you's who can afford it, to please buy Krista a small birthday present. It kills me inside to think that my little girl will have her 16th birthday with no presents to open. No matter how poor we were growing up, we always had presents. You don't have to buy anything elaborate or expensive. She will be 16, she is a little girl who has no one in her life that she can count on, no one to love her, no one to tell her she is good and worth being loved. Her mother chose the man who sexually assaulted Krista over her own child. I am a failure as a father. I've never been able to be there but right now, I ask that my family and friends help, even if just a little. Krista's social worker at Children & Family Services asks that all gifts be sent at the same time, so I thought it would be easiest if everything was sent to my mom house and she will package everything up and mail it all to the social worker in 1 big box. Please include a card for Krista. She hasn't had a real birthday in years and she is just a teenage girl who has been let down way too many times. I don't care if you buy something at the dollar store, she doesn't deserve the life she is living and it is eating me alive inside knowing that I can't help my own child. So please chip in if you can afford it. Anything you want to send to Krista can be mailed to my mom's PO box as follows:

Beverly Brown
PO Box 1868
Albrightsville, PA 18210-1868

For those of you who want to help, I cannot thank you enough. I would give my right arm just to know Krista would have a good life. I have one more topic to touch on. I've decided to quit the gym. These past 7 years I have focused on nothing but myself. I have spent 7 years working out, bettering my cardio, and for what? I have decided to quit working out and I'll now go to the law library every week and focus on getting my appellate rights reinstated so that I can appeal my case. I am guilty of the charge of homicide. But I did not do it for the reasons that the D.A.'s office said so maybe one day the truth can come out and I will get a lesser sentence. But honestly, what can it hurt? I can sit here for the rest of my life and just die or I can continue to try and fight this and maybe get out one day. Life is life in this state, so as of right now I will never get out. But why sit idle and do nothing. If people believe in second chances then I believe I am on the path to earning one. I have changed more than I ever imagined possible. I might never get it but I have to at least continue trying.

If there is anyone out there in the legal community who happens to be reading my blog, I would like to hear from you. I don't have any money, I come from a poor family so I am on my own. But I'm attempting to overcome a time bar and get my appellate rights reinstated. I shouldn't be time barred, my appellate attorney did not file an appeal on time, and he even introduced the letter from me telling him to appeal any denial immediately but he missed the deadline and I am time barred. All of my legal work was destroyed I has 2 boxes of paper work, trial transcripts, appellate work, discovery, and it was all destroyed when another inmate flooded his cell in the hole and all the water came into my cell while I was in the yard's dog cage and everything was soaked in toilet water tainted with feces. So everything had to be trashed. The books I had bought throughout the years, PA state rules out court, federal rules of court, criminal procedure, litigation manuals, everything is gone. So anyone from the legal community that is willing to lend a hand or at least give me advice and point me in the right direction, I would greatly appreciate it and I would be in your debt. I don't want to die in here. And I would like a chance with the legal system at appealing my case. I had my direct appeal, which was denied, then my PCRA hearing, in appealing the denial of my PCRA is where I was time barred at. Judge Charles Weiner said I should not be time barred (when I filed my habeas corpus 2254) but he still ruled with that decision and said I was time barred. I was denied a C.O.A. and I didn't know how else to appeal on my own so that was the end of it. Overcoming a time bar was not possible in 2006 but I am being told that since 2007, courts are overturning them. So if anyone out there can be of any assistance in this, I wouldn't be able to thank you enough. That's all for this week. Take care, and enjoy your freedom. I seem to have taken mine for granted and this is a true nightmare. Everyone I love is dying while I'm in here, my daughter has no parents, no family, and it is all wearing me down. Any ideas? I'm all ears. Ciao.