Rest in peace, my friend, "Mary Fink"

November 18, 2013: 6:10am: I'm here simply to say goodbye to a friend, "Mary Fink". A woman I didn't know that well but I felt I good inside being her friend. One day, during a church weekend retreat an older couple spoke of their friend Mary Fink. Mary, a woman who was in her 80s, had almost no family left and just 2 friends who still lived, the 2 people who told me about her, Larry & Shirley. Their words talking about their friend Mary, they broke my heart. Mary had no one really. No one to love her, no one to visit her (I felt somewhat the same), they made me want to do something nice for Mary. So from that point on, every birthday, Christmas, I would paint something for Mary and send her a card. Shirley & Larry said Mary loved my mediocre paintings and I was always felt so good knowing I put a smile on her face and made her day a little happier. I have never met Mary, I have never spoken to her, but I have tears in my eyes over this wonderful woman's death. I've lost so many friends, so much family, people just bail on me or they die and I am so tired of hurting inside. What hurt the most was I had just painted a Christmas scene and a Christmas card for Mary and I went to give it to Shirley and she told me of Mary's death and how Mary only had 7 people, including Shirley & Larry, at her funeral. I would have been honored to attend, but in here, with a life sentence, I can never attend another funeral again, no matter what. I don't want today to be about me or my pain. I just wanted to say out loud, thank you, Mary Fink, & I will continue to pray for your soul. I value & treasure friendship and you were my friend. Though this might seem stupid since Mary cannot read this but I wanted to write this. We had a good Saturday evening mass with Bishop Mark Bartchak. We only get to see him once a year. He's a very good man and we look forward to this each year. I was the mitre bearer. Just means that I had to hold his mitre (the big hat) during mass and give it back to him every time he was required to put it on. It was a good experience. But I prayed for Mary for the entire mass. I took a photo with the bishop so as soon as I can can get copies made, I will either post one on my blog or I will have it put on my Facebook page. Life in prison is very hard. Especially when people leave you or die. It's been about 6 months since Maria bailed on me and it still hurts. But my friend Barney leaves here on December 7 and this is his first time being home in 25 years. Barney is close to his 70s and this is very scary for him. He has no one out there so he's starting out homeless but I pray that someone helps him out so he can have a life. I dry the tears from my eyes and I know that life must go on. I will meet with my daughter's temporary social worker/therapist, Hannah, today and I pray that she gives me some good news. I could really use some. Life must go on, though, even if it's at a snail's pace, it moves on. I will never forget you, Mary Fink, I will get a photo of you from Shirley so that I don't forget and I will always appreciate you. Take care, God bless and rest in peace, my friend. Mary might have had a good life, but I wish I could have done more for her. Ciao.