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Blog Post Page One
Nov 26

Hello Loyal Readers and those who care for Billy.

Happy Thanksgiving first.
I at last hope you spend it any way that brings you any type of peace.

I guess the big news first. I am no longer at the Huntsville (Walls) anymore. There is a good and bad to this, although it's [?] every bit of my spiritual program & teaching from my very missed s[?] Woody not to act out on my resentment over this whole thing. First, I did have some responsibility in this move, but I got tired of the abuse brought against me from certain officers at the Walls unit and the new Major allowing it to happen. So I went to the proper peoples in this and filed the paperwork. This is m[?] into trying to resolve this issue by simply going to the authorities.

Nothing Seems to work, so I went outside the system and rung a bell I knew would be heard. The new Major heard it loud and clear. So her response was to ship me first to a unit that had no business being on and when I saw the PA she agreed. [?] so much so, she immediately shipped me back. That didn't go over well. I was there one night and the officer I filed foremen complaint on left his post to continue his harassment.

Then me being of the lowest custody, was chained to a high level disciplinary inmate who just was in a riot, and happened to hate gays. Go figure! That was against every rule these people write, and they knowingly placed me in serious harms way to retaliate against me. As soon as I hear back from my lawyer and trusted advisor with Just Detention International, formally stop prison rape, I will name all the names on this blog and the two newspapers I do write for. [?] so much for me anymore, but I left behind members of the gay community there that will be placed in harm's way and figure it's just part of doing time. It's not!

I said good and bad - we'll say that was the bad - the good.

This program really does work. I've really had to work my arse off because I haven't had a meeting. I have been in contact with my other sponsor in New York, still waiting for a reply. Hey Tony! - Another good, I get to start taking programs for my release f[?] up out this hell, well was given a list of what I needed and I done all but one, and I did paperwork yesterday afternoon [?] that.

This place is huge, it gets a lot colder in this part of Texas. Last night we got down to 32° before turkey day, what's up with that?

Look, I'm going to need your prayers and wishes. This next stretch of time scary, but with the tools Woody and the Three W[?] Ladies, hey sis, have taught me I believe it's going to be exciting.

As Will always liked to say, "A real man fights from his knees." Thanks dude. John Boy, I have a pole in front of my cell here too [smiling face with eyebrows raised] Hello to mom and Granny. To the rest of my Pantfinder Saviours I miss every one of you, I ache right down to my butt on Sundays or Fridays.

Book Man "forever"!

Hey Bro you have a letter on the way to the House. I won't be able to call anymore, so more writing OK for both of us. How's the treatments going with you? How's the grandsons; I hope you get some holiday Facetime with them.

O.K. This is the hardest part of my email-blog. Mom, Dad not much longer, I hope, Thanks for all the E-c[?] Best thing was the toilet paper. Sorry mom [smiling face with raised eyebrows]

To my Sister Payne, hey hows it going, hope you hav[?] quit. Tell Robert I said hello and thanks.

To my Brother Bobby, Dude I'm so happy for you, continue growing and the things that will be revealed will blow your mind. Work hard, Sept. is not that far off and you'll graduate. WOW!

I keep thinking, I left someone out, but for the life of me, oh yea, my better half, twin sister Charlene. Did I spell that right? No y'all Charlene is not my twin but there's been times in our lives you couldn't tell anybody we weren't. Most of my childishness self-centered life she has been my older sister, someone who's suited up and showed up for me even when I didn't want her around. Those times she was fucking with my high. (Sorry Ford, Mike, Kevin I'm still watching it.) Anyway Sis, I know that pain you're at. That bottom got so good to me I hung curtains. No matter how many times you threw me that lifeline I always crawled back to what felt like home. If I was there right now we could be neighbors, so Billy, your Big Brother loves you, needs you, but mostly I want you in my life. However sis, if I'm ever going to be here for you, I've got to remember, daily. If I want to live, I have to be free of anger. "The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics those things are poison." I'll add drug addict to that of my own, but sis for me to be just a little mad I'll go half-cocked I have to watch it. That's why I didn't play that new Major's game and get a disciplinary case. Then she could have used that against me. Slow and easy, but my hand is out to you!!!

To any and all—Happy Turkey Day!
Over

2011 Peace,
Billy

The anger quote is from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous - pg. 66 -
4th Edition