Despite the countless support groups, the sponsors, & the ever-growing 12-step community, I have always thought of recovery as a very personal process. One works the steps alone (mostly), with no significant effect on others, & without relying on him or her to do so. Since I first set out on this journey, this has been my take on it. And I could ever have been more mistaken.
I struggled greatly with my 8th Step. I procrastinated. I made excuses. I even argued that this particular step was unnecessary. I did not want to write that list. I did not relapse during this struggle, but I made no progress & there certainly was no healing.
My struggle with the 8th Step affected my mood & my motivation. If affected my performance at work. My relationships, both personal & professional, suffered. People noticed the changes. They wondered and worried. But for too long, my selfishness prevailed, & I ran from the guilt & shame that was my 8th step.
What happened next was nothing short of a miracle by my Higher Power. Everything that needed to happen did happen. People close to me spoke truth into my life. I was finally able to attend AA meetings (after more than 2 years away!). I felt supported. I found courage. And I realized the impact of my role in others' lives when previously I had doubted it.
Without these, my process would not be possible. I thank my Higher Power for my struggles...& the lessons that I learn from them.
Thank you for reading. I appreciate all of your kind words & support.
Daniel
2015 jan 3
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2014 aug 23
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2014 jul 13
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2014 apr 22
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2014 feb 11
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2014 feb 11
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