AN EXTREMELY RARE, BUT GREAT MONTH IN PRISON

APRIL 22, 2014: 6:30am: LISTENING TO : "HEAVEN" BY OTHERWISE (I LOVE THIS SONG)
GOODMORNING, HOW IS EVERYONE? FOR SOMEONE SERVING A LIFE SENTENCE, I MIGHT SEEM A LITTLE TOO CHEERY, ESPECIALLY AT 6:30 IN THE MORNING. BUT I'VE HAD A REALLY GOOD MONTH SO FAR. ON APRIL 7th MY FAMILY CAME TO SEE ME AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG, LONG TIME, I HAD A HUGE GENUINE SMILE ON MY FACE. BABY LUCY IS SO ADORABLE! IT KILLED ME INSIDE TO SEE THEM LEAVE, BUT I KEPT THAT SMILE UNTIL THEY WERE PAST THE DOOR.
AND THEN, FOR ANYONE RELIGIOUS, YOU WERE AWARE THAT LAST WEEK WAS HOLY WEEK. AND ON HOLY THURSDAY THE CATHOLIC DEACON CAME TO ME AND INFORMED ME THAT THE PROPOSAL I SUBMITTED TO THE PRISON ADMINISTRATION WAS APPROVED. WE WERE ALL BLOWN AWAY, BUT THIS IS BY THE GRACE OF GOD. NO ONE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE APPROVED. SO SOON I WILL BEGIN THE PROCESS OF STARTING THIS SALE. WE WILL SELL FOOD FROM A LOCAL WHOLESALE VENDOR TO THE MEN IN THIS PRISON FOR A SMALL PROFIT, AND ALL PROFITS WILL BE DONATED TO ST. VINCENT DE PAUL SOCIETY FOOD BANK IN ALTOONA, PA. OUR CHURCH ORGANIZATION IS CALLED "THE HOLY NAME SOCIETY" AND WE ARE JUST A SMALL CHAPTER OF A GREAT ORGANIZATION. AND IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD KNOWING I WILL BE ABLE TO HELP FEED HUNGRY FAMILIES. I THINK IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO FOOD BANKS, AND I PERSONALLY KNOW SOMEONE WHO WORKS AT THE FOOD BANK, SO I'M VERY EXCITED TO TELL HIM. THEY NEED ALL THE HELP THEY CAN GET. FOOD BANKS ARE ALWAYS RUNNING OUT OF FOOD. SO IF YOU CAN, MAYBE YOU'LL CONSIDER SUPPORTING ONE OF YOUR OWN. IF YOU GO TO CHURCH, I GUARANTEE THEY KNOW WHERE THEY ALL ARE.
AND THIS MONTH I WAS ABLE TO TALK TO MY DAUGHTER 2 DIFFERENT TIMES. MIGHT HAVE COST ME $20 FOR THE PHONE CALLS, BUT IT WAS THE BEST $20 I EVER SPENT! AND THEN MY MOM AND BROTHER, JJ, GOT TO SPEND A DAY WITH HER IN OHIO. I AM REALLY EXCITED TO HEAR FROM MY MOM AND BROTHER TO TELL ME HOW THIS VISIT WENT. IT'S MY DAUGHTER'S FIRST TIME MEETING HER UNCLE AND ONLY HER 2nd TIME MEETING HER GRANDMOM. BUT THEY GET TO TALK EVERY SUNDAY NOW, SO THAT'S GREAT. I SHARE MY PRISON STORIES, IDEAS, PROBLEMS, AND MY PAIN. BUT ON THE OCCAISION THAT I DO HAVE IT, I WANT TO SHARE MY JOY & HAPPINESS AS WELL. I LOVE TALKING TO MY DAUGHTER. I LOVE HEARING HER VOICE; HER LAUGH WAS AMAZING. SHE HAS SUCH A GREAT PERSONALITY AND SHE IS SO ENERGETIC. REMINDS ME OF ME WHEN I WAS A KID. SHE IS CHANGING AND GROWING JUST AS I HAVE IN MY TIME IN PRISON. PEOPLE FROM MY PAST COME BACK INTO MY LIFE, BUT THEN THEY SEE I'M NOT THE SAME KID I WAS WHEN I WAS HOME. I CAME HERE AT 21, SO I HAVE CHANGED A LOT IN 15 1/2 YEARS. I STILL MAINTAIN MY PRIDE, MY MORALS, AND MY OWN PERSONAL RULES FOR LIVING MY LIFE.
THE CATHOLIC DEACON CAME TO SEE ME YESTERDAY AND WE TALKED FOR A FEW MINUTES AND HE THANKED ME FOR ALL OF MY HELP. BUT I DON'T NEED THANKS. I ENJOY BEING IN THE CHURCH AND SETTING UP CATHOLIC MASS SERVICES FOR MYSELF EVERY SATURDAY AFTERNOON WHILE EVERYONE IS IN THE YARD. I ENJOY MY OWN PRIVATE TIME IN CHURCH WITH GOD...THINKING, PRAYING, HOPING, DREAMING; I WON'T GIVE UP ON LIFE. I WON'T GIVE UP ON TRYING TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE, OR DOING SOMETHING GOOD AND DECENT. I'VE DONE A LOT OF WRONG IN MY LIFE, AND I WANT TO DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR SOMEONE ELSE. THAT'S WHY I WAS IN AN ORGANIZATION CALLED THE JAYCEES. WONDERFUL ORGANIZATION. WE HAVE A PRISON CHAPTER CALLED THE ALTAR ROCK, AND THE JAYCEES ARE ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. YOU MAKE SO MANY DONATIONS TO CHARITIES AND PEOPLE IN NEED, IT MAKES YOU FEEL AMAZING INSIDE.
MY ONLY SAD TIME THIS MONTH WAS WHEN A GUY ON MY TIER TOLD ME HIS DAD JUST DIED. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. I CAME INTO MY CELL AND SAW THE PHOTOS OF MY GRANDMOM AND MY JUSTINE. NONNA HAS BEEN GONE 8 YEARS NEXT MONTH AND JUSTINE DIED IN 2001, BUT IT STILL HURTS. I PUT MY CURTAIN UP SO NO ONE COULD SEE ME IN MY ROOM, I TURNED ON THE TV, AND I CRIED. I MISS THEM SO MUCH. AND I THOUGHT OF MY FATE, MY FUTURE, IN HERE, ALONE ONE DAY. EVERYONE WILL EITHER DIE OR ABANDON YOU. THAT'S HOW IT NORMALLY GOES IN HERE. THAT PART OF PRISON IS A NIGHTMARE.
ALL IN ALL, I HAD A REALLY GOOD MONTH SO FAR, AND IF ANY OF YOU'S READING WHAT I WRITE HAVE BABIES, OR FAMILY MEMBERS WITH BABIES, I JUST RECENTLY LEARNED THAT IF YOU WRITE TO WHATEVER DIAPER COMPANY YOU BUY FROM (HUGGIES BRAND), AND YOU SEND THEM A LETTER TELLING THEM HOW YOU LOVE THEIR PRODUCT OVER EVERY OTHER ONE AND REQUEST SOME COUPONS, THEY SEND THEM. THEY SENT 1 GIRL ON THE TV OVER $100 IN COUPONS FOR FREE AND DISCOUNTED DIAPERS. AND WE ALL KNOW DIAPERS ARE REALLY EXPENSIVE. MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THAT AND I THINK THEY SHOULD. I'M NOT THE BEST WRITER AND MY VOCABULARY IS PRETTY LIMITED, BUT I ENJOY WRITING. KEEPS ME SANE, FOCUSED ON THE RIGHT THINGS, AND MOVING FORWARD IN LIFE. PLEASE KEEP READING AND ASK ME WHATEVER YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT. I LOOK FORWARD TO ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS THAT YOU SEND ME. NEXT I LOOK FORWRD TO MEETING MY FAMILY THAT HANNAH FOUND FOR ME. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT TO HAPPEN. TAKE CARE, GOD BLESS, AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU'S. CIAO.