Male privilege?
That's not what she wants

I hope your universe is as guiltless of foul play and as clean as pure as a newborn baby learning before speaking its first words, at least, I hope this is true long enough to sustain you through this patronage I bestow upon you below and thereafter you become filled with renewed awareness on how to act around and treat a lady; like a brand new baby learning to speak its first words and forever rid yourself of the thought of a woman being vilipend (to hold or treat as of little worth or account). I lend my pen to share knowledge that "you should" have, advice "you need"; especially if you think you don't need it because you feel as though you know everything. These experiences that I've learned, gone through and otherwise failed to realize at certain times in my life, so I forward those experiences to you. Which, by the way, I relived those past experiences, conjured them up in my minds eye and was forced; by way of separation from these experiences, to take inventory of my life's mistakes, particularly those of which that dealt with relationships and women; God's greatest creation. These were overtures that I fully took for granted and or failed to appreciate for their worth. My words to men are not mistakes; those are in my past and I forsake myself from committing them ever again (experience teaches one that), these are words of experience. We, black men in particular, are given the tools to do right and walk on a straight path when it comes to relationships but do we remain on that positive path? Most times, no, we don't, why? Because we feel that we deserve this "male privilege" that was bestowed upon us by society, more on male privilege later. Instead of committing to some positive structure in our life we venture off the beaten path and begin acting like a beast in the wild, assume we don not have to be a part of society's norm. It is imperative that when we are in a relationship with a woman that she maintains her independence and own identity. We have no control over that because we have no control over her. That should be etched in your mind. If you want control over someone, make it yourself, control your own attitude and be aware of who you are and if you are not a positive male then you should not be in a relationship with a woman, therefore you should go live in a jungle. When you are going though something that upsets you, never take it out on your woman. Take time to step back and ask yourself what went wrong? How do I fix it? You damn sure can't fix it by hitting you your woman. Breath, pray and meditate if you have to. Problems take time to get corrected but the good news is, they can be corrected. Never yell, cuss, hit, fight or lose it on you woman no matter what's causing your universe out of balance. Communication is the key of life. Without it nobody will know you have a question that needs answering. Babies learn communication by listening; learning then communicating their wants and needs. The same goes for relationships. You have to communicate your problems without screaming, yelling or hitting because when you do, it still won't make sense but what it will do, is cause your relationship to go sour; you woman to despise you, and eventually leave you and still yet, your children will grow up to resent you. Think about that every time you fell you just have to be the boss, the controller, the head of the relationship and can't nothing happen without your say so. Personally, I THOUGHT I KNEW IT ALL; thought I was doing the damn thing when I was in relationships but I wasn't. Just thought I knew what all it entailed to maintain a relationship but I didn't. I believed that all it took was me being there, sharing responsibilities of the house, making sure everything was up kept and the bills were paid but, again, I was wrong.

Men are usually wrong about what it takes to hold together a relationship, unless you've been given that knowledge or your woman is a hell of a communicator of her needs and with younger people that's usually not the case. I raise my hand.

I didn't know anything about relationships, come to find out. It takes more than just "being there" cleaning the house and making sure food was on the table and the bills paid and it definitely takes more than just having sex with your woman to satisfy a relationship or hold I together.

I have news for you fella's; some WOMEN PREFER TO BE CUDDLED OVER HAVING SEX. Learn that because I didn't know that was even a possibility. I thought it was all about sex, The crazy thing is, I never just kissed my woman for the hell of it, never held her hand, rubbed her shoulders or rubbed her feet, for that matter, outside the bedroom. Do all of those things outside of the bedroom; outside of having sex because in most cases, she's only pleasing you when having sex anyways.

Don't force your woman to bump into you just to get you to touch her. Tell her you love her on a regular basis; if you don't you don't need to be in that relationship. Don't wait until she asks you if you love her. Be intimate with her outside of the bedroom, be playful, have a good attitude and don't act like it is a forced issue when you do it. Do it with vigor and fondness. Look into her eyes and tell her how pretty she is.

A GOOD PRACTICE is to intimately learn who you woman is; not only her wants and needs but also her favorite color, what makes her happy, sad, and joyful, what embarrasses her, what she likes to do, what relaxes her. Ask her what you an do to make her feel better. You don't have to babysit her, but you do have to please her in these often times over looked areas. BE WILLING to care for her more than you care for yourself.

Always put her first and let her know how much you appreciate her.

NEVER call her names, belittle her or embarrass her. WHEN YOU GET ANGRY OR UPSET and we all do, learn what it was that upset you, what those triggers are and learn how to fix it by dealing with it positively. Know your strengths and weaknesses. It's all about attitude and if you have a foul one, you'll have a foul life to go with it; that could include prison or even death. NEVER take anything for granted; thought it would always be there, whether it was family, relationship, car or whatever it was. I was wrong on every front, except for family, they'll always be there for you during your ups and downs but you better not have more downs then ups. Living with regrets is the most painful when you are forced to go it alone. The pain of being isolated away from my family; 3000 miles apart, is some times more than I can bear. As for my MALE PRIVILEGE, it's made up and not a truth you should stand on. It's degrading, selfish, and abusive in nature, insulting and to me, embarrassing. Women have the right and should be treated as equal as any man.

Keith

Lack of awareness is no excuse for lack of knowledge
8:40 am
5-10-14

NEVER