Irish Soup
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12-18-14

A year has come and gone. I sit here alone.

My caseworker called me in last week and told me I was going to the parole board in March. I am now eligible for parole under the new 25/60 law. That's being over 60 and having more than 25 years inside. This surprised me, that's 45 years off my time. I'm not ready. Where will I stay? What will I do? The caseworker wanted a parole plan, an address. How am I going to live? I have no answers. I fully expected to die in prison and expected it long ago. Maybe a daydream once in a while. I have no address to go to. Because of my age and health, I'll be an SSI. My sister Cella will help me with that. :)

I don't know if I'm going to get a parole date when I go in March. I don't know if I would give me a date and I know I've changed, and will never do anything to hurt anyone again. I'm a different person today. Like I've said, I expected to die in here and I've done no program or groups. So if I don't get a date in march, no surprises. I'll start getting ready for the next board. I know now that I have a chance to smell the ocean air again. To go sailing with my love. HELP

I saw the color of Mama's hair. The style also. It's Rita Hayward hair, 1940s. I miss you.

Alice means truth. I miss you.

Your giggles are the best laugh I've ever heard, followed by Tim's gut busters (so fear), Theresa's and Carol's rolling on the floor holding onto one another laughing so hard tears were coming out. I don't know what they were laughing at but I'm sure it was something one of them said about Teddy. They both had a crush on that boy. 10

The first thing I do when I pick up the paper is turn the bits the check on friends and family. It's what people our age do. I hope we don't find our names in there.

How about forever. Is forever good for you?

I've always wanted to hike the Pacific Coast Trail. The only problem is there are no sidewalks.

I worry about you, baby sister. You never say anything, but I know you're not doing well. I love you. I miss you. Now, smile for me.

My hair is still curly, my eyes are still blue, why don't you love me like you use to do love oldies

This last year was a long one. I had forgotten how lonely this place can be when you fell alone. The days seem to go on forever. The nights are never-ending. There's an emptiness in my stomach I cannot fill.

Adopt this old neglected dog and pamper the heck out of him for the rest of his life.

Beautiful pairs = children + grandchildren, egg + bacon, cold - beer, peace + love, old men - old women.

Answers to questions change with each passing day. Only love is forever.

Georgia, sweet Georgia on my mind

Smartest we can get: IQ of 198. So, I'm not the smartest person in the world. I'm the second smartest person I know. Only next to you. :)

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time. It is regret for the things we didn't do that are inconsolable."
Sydney J. Harris

So much of love is imagination. It's over-the-top activity, it's over ambition, it's over-the-top hope. This is what it means to be a person of faith. It's coming up on a year. Is it time for this break to end?

---

in this anger
in this rage
in this cage
in this pain
breathing softly
breath flows out
thoughts are fast
thoughts of hope
thoughts of you
keep my heart
keep it safe
helps me calm
helps me sane
dark of night
close my eyes
escape this life
in yesterday's dreams

1/6/15
Steve Burkett

I love you more
I love you best
You bury me
You make me crazy