TRANSFERRED TO ANOTHER PRISON

2/18/16: WATCHING: THE INTERN, STARRING ROBERT DENIRO & ANNE HATHAWAY

HI, IT'S BEEN SOME TIME SINCE I HAVE WRITTEN ANYTHING. I WASN'T SURE IF THIS SITE WAS STILL UP & RUNNING OR NOT. LIFE HAS GOTTEN ALOT WORSE SINCE MY LAST POST. MY MOM WAS DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER, NOW SHE ALSO HAS SOMETHING CALLED C.O.P.D. & I KNOW IT'S REALLY EFFECTING HER BREATHING & SHE IS OUT OF BREATH AFTER JUST A FEW STEPS. BUT SO FAR SHE IS HANGING IN THERE. I HAVE BEEN MOVED TO ANOTHER PRISON. I FILED FOR A TRANSFER, IT WAS EXPLAINED TO THE TRANSFER COMMITTEE THAT MY MOM IS DYING OF CANCER & SHE IS TOO FAR AWAY TO COME VISIT ME. BUT DID THEY CARE, NO. HEY SAID I DO NOT MEET THE CRITERIA, SPECIALLY #5 ON THE LIST, SO TRANSFER REQUEST IS DENIED. WHAT IS #5 YOU MIGHT ASK, YOU ARE REQUIRED TO HAVE 5 YEARS OF NO TROUBLE. I HAD 4 YEARS & 7 MONTHS. THEY COULDN'T OVERLOOK 5 MONTHS. BUT THANX TO ONE OF THE MEN WHO RUNS THIS PRISON SYSTEM, I APPEALED TO HIM & HE WAS ABLE TO OVERRIDE THE DECISION NOT TO TRANSFER ME CLOSER TO MY MOM. SO HERE I AM, AT SCI DALLAS, JUST 30 MINUTES AWAY FROM MY MOM. SHE HAD A HEART ATTACK A FEW WEEKS AGO SO SHE HASN'T BEEN ABLE TO COME UP TO SEE ME YET BUT HOPEFULLY HER DOCTORS WILL ALLOW HER TO TRAVEL SOON. MY BROTHER HAS BEEN HERE A FEW TIMES & BROUGHT MY NIECE, BABY LUCY, WHO WILL BE 4 NEXT MONTH.
I'VE CREATED ALOT OF CHAOS IN MY LIFE. A BIG PART OF ME WANTS TO GIVE BACK, DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL, HELP SOMEONE, SOMETHING THAT MATTERS IN LIFE. SO I WAS INTERVIEWED BY THE WOMEN WHO RUN THE MEDICAL DEPARTMENT, AND THEY WANTED TO HIRE ME. BUT IN THIS PRISON, YOU MUST HAVE THE APPROVAL OF THE ADMINISTRATION BUT SOMEHOW, I WAS DENIED. I WAS GOING TO BE ASSIGNED TO WORK WITH THE 20 OR SO MEN WHO ARE HERE THAT ARE TERMINALLY ILL FROM DISEASE OR CANCER. I WAS VERY DISAPPOINTED. I AM STILL TRYING TO FIND A JOB HERE BUT THE SHORTEST WAITING LIST THAT I'M ON IS #151. EXTREMELY LONG. I WON'T GIVE UP THOUGH. MAYBE SOMEWHERE DOWN THE ROAD I CAN REAPPLY AT MEDICAL FOR THE HOSPICE CARE JOB AGAIN.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND MY DAUGHTER. SHE ASKS ME TO CALL HER, I HAVE TRIED OVER 50 TIMES & SHE HAS YET TO EVEN ANSWER HER PHONE. KIDS THESE DAYS, I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM.
THIS NEW PRISON IS DIFFERENT. IT'S OLDER SO THERE IS NO AIR CONDITIONERS, WE'LL BE HOT ALL SUMMER LONG. I STARTED WORKING OUT AGAIN, I AM DOING THE ORIGINAL "INSANITY" PROGRAM. VERY TOUGH TO DO IT 5 DAYS A WEEK BUT I AM DEFINITELY GETTING BACK IN SHAPE. IT'S BEEN VERY COLD OUT LATELY SO I DON'T GET MUCH OUTSIDE TIME.
I WAS CONSIDERING TRYING TO CONTACT THE FAMILY OF THE MAN I KILLED. I WAS AN ASSHOLE AT MY TRIAL TO THEM, I HAD NO SYMPATHY, I HAD AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM, SHIP ON MY SHOULDER, NOT SURE IF IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO OR NOT. I WANT TO TRY TO ATLEAST APOLOGIZE TO EVERYONE I HAVE EVER WRONGED, IF I CAN, AND LET THEM KNOW THAT I AM SORRY & THAT I AM NOT THAT KID ANYMORE.
I MISS MY JUSTINE TERRIBLY. SHE HAS BEEN GONE 14 1/2 YEARS NOW & I DO KNOW THAT THE HORRIBLE CHOICES I MADE ULTIMATELY LED TO HER DEATH. I THOUGHT OF MY LAST VALENTINE'S DAY WITH HER. I REMEMBER THE MORNING WHEN I WOKE HER UP IN BED, I REMEMBER TAKING A LONG WALK WITH HER IN THE WOODS, WATCHING THE ANIMALS. I REMEMBER TAKING HER TO A CUTE LITTLE ITALIAN PLACE FOR DINNER, AND I WILL NEVER FORGET THE REST OF THAT NIGHT. I'M 39 NOW & I HAVE COME TO A POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE I WANT TO BE A BETTER MAN. I HAVE WANTED THIS FOR THE LAST FEW YEARS BUT MORE SO NOW THEN I EVER HAVE. I WONT GIVE UP TRYING. IT'S NOT EASY WITH HARDLY ANY LOVE OR SUPPORT FROM FAMILY OR FRIENDS. MOST HAVE BAILED ON ME OVER THE LAST 5 YRS SO EACH DAY IS A STRUGGLE LEARNING SOMETHING NEW. NEW WAYS TO DEAL WITH NEW PROBLEMS. MY GREAT AUNT MARY CAME INTO MY LIFE SO IT'S BEEN GREAT HAVING HER TO TALK TO.
I'M AT A POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT. EASIER SAID THEN DONE THOUGH. STILL WORKING ON IT. OR ANYONE WHO HAS FIGURED IT OUT, ANY ADVICE? IDEAS? I'M ALL EARS.
2 OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS ARE ON TONIGHT. BLACKLIST & SHADES OF BLUE. IN BLACKLIST, JAMES SPADER IS THE STAR, I LOVE JAMES SPADER FROM WHEN HE STARRED IN BOSTON LEGAL WITH WILLIAM SHATNER (ALSO AN AMAZING ACTOR). ANYWAY, JAMES SPADER IS AN AMAZING ACTOR. THEN IN SHADES OF BLUE, RAY LIOTTA & JENNIFER LOPEZ, WHO WOULD MISS HER.
HAS ANYONE EVERY HEARD OF A SINGER NAMED LACEY STURM? I JUST HEARD HER SONG CALLED IMPOSSIBLE & I REALLY LIKED IT.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU'S THINK. THE US SUPREME COURT JUST RULED THAT YOU CANNOT SENTENCE A JUVENILE (UNDER 18) TO A LIFE SENTENCE WITHOUT THE CHANCE AT PAROLE. DO YOU AGREE OR ARE YOU AGAINST THIS? IF YOU WERE 14 OR 16, SHOULD IT STILL BE A LIFE FOR A LIFE? I'M INTERESTED IN KNOWING WHAT THE AVERAGE PERSON THINKS.
WELL IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO. TAKE CARE, I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU READERS & I WANT TO KNOW IF ANY OF MY PUPPY DOG PHOTO'S WERE POSTED ON THIS SITE, SO IF YOU'VE SEEN ANY, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. THANX. GOD BLESS, CIAO.