Reply ID; wmut
Ajj13

Missed Emotions

First and foremost, I need to apologize to everyone who takes time out of their lives to read my blog posts. Prison sucks and I have no control over certain things, such as prison transfers. Understand that I really appreciate everyone who reaches out to me. I wanted to answer my last blog post the day I got it, but I was being transferred from CMF Vacaville to CSP Sacramento. The prison I am at now is New Folsom. New Folsom is a Level 4 maximum security prison.

Today is June 9, 2017 and it's 2 PM. I'm feeling great, regardless of my shitty situation. I'm reaching out to my latest blog comments.

Hello, Alyssa. Thank you very much for writing to me. I appreciate it more than you could possibly know. I apologize for taking so much time to answer all of your questions. I'm going to answer each question truthfully. It's great to hear that you enjoyed reading my blog posts. Alyssa, think about what "missed emotions" really mean, okay? I like the fact that you are doing research concerning men in prison.

You asked about what ways do some men deal with missing women while in prison. The way I deal with missing women is I basically block out as much as possible by keeping my distance from the few that I've seen in almost 24 years. Alyssa, the last female that I've touched was on October 19, 1994. I don't touch or talk very often because why try and get attached when I have life in prison. I miss women so very much, Alyssa. But when you're in a cage doing life with the possibility of parole, you have to block out the needs/urges. Why stress on women when you know you can't have one?

I'm the type of man who won't get into a relationship unless I get married to her and start having family visits ("overnight visits"). I have refused on relations for the last 23+ years because I didn't want to hurt her due to not being allowed close contact with her. Real men don't ever hurt a woman's feelings and never ever hurt her.

People in prison miss women very much and the lifers, in my opinion, miss them more than the regular prisoners. Do men change by not being around women? Yes, Alyssa. We do need that closeness in love. Men like me have changed a lot due to the lack of women. Your conversation, I miss. I'm so tired of just talking to all these lames in the joint. I wouldn't say that all men change by not being around women; I can only speak for myself and by experience. I've been without women for decades, Alyssa, and it fucking hurts. I want a woman, yes, but I haven't had one since 1994. So has that changed me? Some, I guess. I'm lonely sure, but when the right woman falls for me, then I'll be her loyal husband and love, respect, and cherish her for the rest of my life.

Look, Alyssa, this isn't the first time I was in prison. Check it out. My first prison term was in 1993. I did 20 months, and when I paroled to the city (I'm from Stockton, CA), I was all over the women. Here was one of my issues. After a long night of sex then showers, I would lay in bed with my girlfriend at that time (Karen). Alyssa, Karen would want to cuddle like all women do. She would place her head on my chest and wrap her legs around me. She was making me burn up. Her heat was too much. I would have to apologize to her for pushing her off of me. See, Alyssa, I was so used to sleeping alone that it took months to cuddle with her and allow her to listen to my heartbeat, fall asleep on my chest, wrapped around me. Once that time passed, I loved her closeness. I now long for that again.

Do I have missed emotions? Obviously. I don't know how other men in prison deal with their needs, but me? I just do without it. I'm good at it. 24 years without women. When you haven't had one in decades, you learn to just adjust. People help me sometimes with my needs, as far as ordering me packages, etc. We as men can deal with a woman's touch with quickness due to the loneliness, Alyssa. Look at the years that have went by without me having any contact with women. It's insanity. But like I said, real men adapt to any situation. We must.

Alyssa, thank you so very much for writing and asking lots of questions. I enjoyed answering you. I have lots of questions to ask you since you're so interested in men in prison and their issues of the heart. Feel free to get at me on this blog. My mail takes weeks to get to you, and yours comes pretty fast. So please have patience with this blog, okay?

Write soon,
Donnie