Sound Mind Group
(Struggle Within The Struggle)

By

Floyd Smith

===

Sound Mind 8.

Inmate Non-Priority Pass
Inmate's Name: Smith
CDC#: K72700
Housing Area/Bed: 4-EB-09
Issued by: D. Lourgeon
Issue Date: 4/09/18 [signature]
Appt. Location: CHSB, 2ndFl, Rm4
Appt. Date: 4/10/18
Appt. Time: 10 AM
Type/Reason: Condemned Spirituality Group

After an 18-year struggle, our very first session was to stat Tuesday, April 27, 2018. But prison officials began to squabble with each other about who was responsible for escorting inmates to a "gay group."

Medical officers refused due to it not being a medical issue. The mental health officers also refused due to it not being a mental health development group. Custody unit officers refused to escort "the gays" due to being understaffed. So our first group was canceled.

The above ducat reflects that our second session was to take place on April 10, 2018, and, again, no staff would escort inmates to the group. So this session was also canceled.

After a stern talk with custody administrations and Sgt. Cambell, the group was assured to be escorted the following biweekly session. I had no idea what would happen next.

====

Sound Mind 9.

Inmate Non-Priority Pass
Inmate's Name: Smith
CDC#: K72700
Housing Area/Bed: 4-EB-09
Issued by: D. Lourgeon
Issue Date: 4/23/18 [signature]
Appt. Location: CHSB, 2ndFl, Rm4
Appt. Date: 4/24/18
Appt. Time: 10 AM
Type/Reason: Condemned Spirituality Group

On April 24, 2018, FOUR inmates met for the historical first session of the group. Short of the ten people on the original submitted list. None of my nine people showed up. The Jewish rabbi was the group facilitator, and the group consisted of:

1. Floyd - founder of the group (black)
2. Randy - an elderly (white) gay person who I've never seen before
3. Skyler - a transgender (white) and new arrival(?)
4. Johnny - the most hated gang dropout in the entire state (Mexican)

I was given a very vague answer as to why none of the inmates on my original list weren't in the group.

In the session, I asked Johnny why he was in this group due to the mere fact that his very name being announced over the P.A. system not only placed the lives of everyone else in the group in greater physical danger, but now nobody will want to come to this group because he's in it. With it, he's bringing his usual gang-related prison divisive and manipulative antics into this new environment. No, The Sound Mind is designed to move us forward, not stuck in trouble.

Johnny responded with his usual gamer craft,

"I want to come out as gay." (That's vintage Johnny.)

I explained to Johnny and the rest of the group that this is not a regular mental health program that he is used to weaving his way into, to sit around and talk about how gay we are. This is a group that is providing a service for everybody, everybody else. This is a command center.

I asked Johnny if he knew who created the group. Johnny and the others said no. They had no idea. I asked Rabbi Paul to tell them who started the group. Rabbi Paul said,

"You did."

I told Johnny that he has an equal opportunity to participate in this program with all the other inmates in prison and, to secure the integrity of the program, I refused to go into detail about the direction of the Sound Mind Streamer in front of Johnny due to his well known history within the prison that I am not at liberty to talk about in this forum, due to the propensity of gang violence.

Johnny being in the group explained why custody staff had a Fort Knox-like security escort of more than eight officers, plus a unit sergeant surrounding us on the short walk to the group. It was an attempt to set up inmate-on-inmate rival gang violence, to shut the group down on its first day. Stress test over. That part didn't work.

However, unbeknown to me, as it turned out, prison officials put Johnny in the group to prevent other inmates from wanting to attend the gay group. And it worked.

====

Inmate Non-Priority Pass
Inmate's Name: Smith
CDC#: K72700
Housing Area/Bed: 4-EB-09
Issued by: D. Lourgeon
Issue Date: 5/07/18 [signature]
Appt. Location: CHSB, 2ndFl, Rm4
Appt. Date: 5/08/18
Appt. Time: 10 AM
Type/Reason: Condemned Spirituality Group

On May 8, 2018, I sat alone in the ten-cage group room with facilitator Rabbi Paul, who kept trying to convince me to turn the group into the regular model of sitting around and talking about how gay we are.

We both revealed to each other that other inmates refused to attend the group if Johnny was in the group and, if their names would be called over the PA system for a LGBTQ spirituality group, especially along with Johnny's name, they was out of the group. Some of the very people who encouraged me to fight for the group for 18 years said:

"I had legal work to do, so I couldn't come to the group."
"I had very important business to take care of in the yard."
"When you guys get further along, I'll come."
"NO."
"I can't, bro, but I admire what you're doing."

I won't repeat the other excuses, too revealing for this format. But yeah, you get it by now.

===

Inmate Non-Priority Pass
Inmate's Name: Smith
CDC#: K72700
Housing Area/Bed: 4-EB-09
Issued by: D. Lourgeon
Issue Date: 5/21/18 [signature]
Appt. Location: CHSB, 2ndFl, Rm4
Appt. Date: 5/22/18
Appt. Time: 10:10 AM
Type/Reason: Condemned Spirituality Group

Again, on May 22, 2018, I sat alone in the group. Rabbi Paul brought in a special guest named Billie Mizell. She's obviously "family" and she said she facilitates the LGBTQ group for the mainline general population.

The three of us vollied topics associated with status, purpose, curriculum, direction, and a brief debate on empathy, movies, DVDs and relatable content.

I presented nine different copies of The Write or Die Zine Project as a body of work associated with my creative writing program developed with inmate Byron. Something to provide the need for urban perspective engagement of the new condemned population.

Billie gave me a stack of papers associated with the program directives for her group, and it was clear that Rabbi Paul had found someone that had a broad understanding and experience that connected to the Sound Mind Vision in ways he could not. That's what true leaders do.

===

On June 5, 2018, I sat alone in group room. No Rabbi Paul, no guest, just me working on refining The Sound Mind Streamer.

===

Inmate Non-Priority Pass
Inmate's Name: Smith
CDC#: K72700
Housing Area/Bed: 4-EB-09
Issued by: D. Lourgeon
Issue Date: 6/11/18 [signature]
Appt. Location: CHSB, 2ndFl, Rm4
Appt. Date: 6/12/18
Appt. Time: 10:10 AM
Type/Reason: Condemned Spirituality Group

On June 12, 2018, I sat alone in group. Rabbi Paul and Billie came. We talked about:
a.) unifying the condemned group with mainline group with Billie as the connective facilitator since mainline inmates and condemned inmates are not allowed direct communication.

b.) Billie said she would submit the movie doc Brother Outsider: Bayard Rustin's Story to the SQ media center for our first official theater presentation.

c.) both Rabbi Paul and Billie, after considerable debate, convinced me to not use LGBTQ with the name Sound Mind program until "we get our feet in the door." I had no choice but to trust the counsel of my facilitators. I not only agreed under protest but also expressed my disappointment of leaving a Jewish rabbi and a LGTBQ person make this request.

===

Inmate Non-Priority Pass
Inmate's Name: Smith
CDC#: K72700
Housing Area/Bed: 4-EB-09
Issued by: D. Lourgeon
Issue Date: 6/25/18 [signature]
Appt. Location: CHSB, 2ndFl, Rm4
Appt. Date: 6/26/18
Appt. Time: 10:10 AM
Type/Reason: Condemned Spirituality Group

On June 26, 2018, I sat alone in the group again. After a brief dialogue, Rabbi Paul and Billie said they will do a unit walk through together and ask each person on my list if they would attend the next session date.

===

Today is July 18, 2018, the day of the walkthrough. I was told two of my original ten people ran back into the crowded closet. No hard feelings.

One of the remaining eight people said he didn't want to walk all the way over to the hospital for group. So he, in a struggle of his own, refused to participate in the Sound Mind group.

Sure, some will show up. I want our rabbi friend and our fam Billie to view the reality of the need for Sound Mind as valuable to a closeted community on death row. People in the closet also have spirits that need to be lifted. I respect the safety of a closet on death row, where everybody has a body count.

Out of nearly 800 people on the row, I'm the only black person living out of the closet. Sound Mind required.