Harszewski
Blog 1660

Comment Reply ID: mfie
7-27-20

Hiya, Mimi...
I got your reply today, and as usual, you're a very uplifting, bright light. I just wanna point out that it's now July 27, and the post-date from BTB was July 11th, and I assume you actually typed your words awhile before that... these are the timeframes I'm dealing with. Sorry that's totally out of my control. I'm sure people like you who take the time to write comments to prisoner bloggers must feel like we don't reply, or take forever, especially when you're used to hearing back on texts and things like that in just minutes. I can't speak for any other prisoners on this, but as for ME... I'm really trying! :)
About the angry/bitter/ugly thing... Well, I mean it is genuine, anyway. What bums me out most in that area is, on one hand, the positivity and general good example of kind-hearted people like yourself, who inspire me to improve my disposition, if nothing else; and on the other hand... I look at pictures of my family, and my friends, and myself, and I'm powerfully reminded of who I really am and where I come from and why people have liked and loved me (not to mention, the traits of the people I've liked and loved most). I was a very happy, outgoing, kind of goofy, silly person, most of the time. I love to laugh and to make others laugh or smile, and the reality is, not much of that part of me comes through in most of what I've posted here. I guess its the new version of something I noticed first when I was 16... I had a journal, and I filled it up pretty easily. Eventually I noticed... I only wrote when life was dark and unhappy. Nothing in there reflected all the GREAT, bright, joyous parts of my life, which were by far the majority. I only wrote of unhappiness. Maybe that's because in unhappiness, I was alone, so I sort of "talked to myself," while happiness was always a shared experience. Maybe that's sort of what's going on now.
So hey, I 've been reading a lot of - wait for it - Proudhon, since you commented on him. Honestly, so much of that is just so good, and I'm reminded of what a shame and waste it often is when we trash and disregard the big figures of history in the name of what all too often amounts to a small-minded and myopic worship of dominant values (or worse, a fear that not following the crowd will paint us as "bad"). while ignoring Porudhon's personal views, I find his thinking is almost easily rehabilitated, or refurbished, just by replacing terms like "man" (which like 99.999% of people of his time used generically and not sexistly) with "humanity," or similar substitutions... doing so retains a lot of very valuable insight & theory, I think. Hopefully he's still too marginal to be very scrutinized, and will gain stature as we begin putting our soapboxes and high horses back in the barn. Please keep me up on your experiences w// the Pierres & Emmas! :) --Dymitri