Jan. 6, 2021

The King

by Otis Lee Rodgers (author's profile)


I don't suppose you'll ever miss me
But, you see, my whole world is built around you
It was my choice, that's where I wanted it built
I ache for you, I swear
Every fiber of my being is
Tied in with your existence
Sometimes at night I cry
And get angry with myself
For being (so) foolish
And I cry
And I wonder
"What did this man (you) ever really give you (me)?"
What spell did he (you) cast?
And out of separation and frustration
And from lack of a more suitable answer –
I cry
And I feel so hopeless and hopeless
Because no matter who wants me
I still want you
And it doesn't make sense to me –
So I cry
But today something came over me
It obsessed me
It took absolute control of me
And it felt good, for once
To feel something besides wanting you,
And this feeling hungover me
And told me
That you were no longer
A part of the problem
Nor any part of the solution
ANd I felt a powerful sense of relief,
But I was skeptical,
And the feeling persuaded me,
That Talking against you was pointless,
Pretending disconcern was useless,
Begging you to stay was senseless
But loving you in spite of it all was selfish
And I glowed
So, at this point, I felt no pain,
I felt no regrets,
There are no arguments
Going to within myself
I am at peace,
And it is all because I know
That I have given all of myself that I could spare,
And then some,
And miraculously I had enough leftover
To salvage myself,
And it is all too clear to me
That I, instead of you,
Deserve your place on the pedestal
I earnes it while it was merely given to you,
But it was my choice, I thought I wanted you to have it
And you are foolish to ever dream,
That a greater love will ever come around again
In your lifetime,
Because it won't
But you must have enjoyed it while you had it
And I will die and be named martyr,
Because it suddenly dawned on me,

'why should I mourn for your lost/'



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