"It;s only prejudice when you haven't been there... For me, it's all lived experience." -James S.A. Corey, 'Libola Burn'

Wed, 12/09/20
7:26pm

Dear Readers,
Howdy! I hope everyone is doing well. I'm currently sitting on my bed listening to Joan Jetts and the Blackhearts sing "I Hate Myself for Loving You" on C3PO. That's the type of song that puts you in the mood for a grudge luck, ya know?
Nick and I just finished playing chess and cards for several hours. It drives me crazy that he usually beats me even though, as I've mentioned, he's not very "bright." (He was born and raised in New Hampshire, but he asked me how to spell it and also if it was one or two words. C'mon...)
As of yesterday, they changed the lockdown/quarantine again. The changes are: that we are now let out between 7-7:30A (instead of 6:30A). We are back to walking to the entrance of the Clow Hall to pick up our meals, and once again we are required to put on our stupid "slave clothes" (prison uniforms) just for the five minute walk over there. One CO sent back at least half the guys from my tier cause they were wearing tennis shoes instead of our official prison shoes. Petty and childish- guys have been wearing tennis shoes for months now.

Thurs, 12/10/20
5:27pm
Sorry. "Someone" wanted attention last night. When I'm locked in a cell with a hot guy who wants attention, I do have priorities. Blog what? Readers who? I do still adore all of you, though.
Where was I... oh yes, "slave clothes". We've been screwed over on this lockdown/quarantine for over eight months now, and this asshole warden wants to throw a fit about wearing our slave clothes- and be sure you wear your institution shoes instead of tennis shoes- for a short walk just to pick up your food and carry it back to the unit. Seriously... WTF.
Moving on... the tier that's out in the afternoon now gets to stay out later. Instead of being locked in at 2:45p, they now stay out until sometime after 3:30 p- for sure before the 4p "count."
Speaking of "counts", they got rid of the daily 10A count (which is normally just weekends and holidays. However, they reinstated the twice-daily counts (at 9:45 A and 1p). For those who aren't locked in, you're just supposed to stop everything while the CO goes around to each cell and checks everyone off his list.
This is faster than a full count, but again, since we can't go anywhere without a staff escort, it's completely pointless and stupid. Our regular five-day CO doesn't even bother doing it for that reason (he has common sense), but if he's off work, other COs do it.
Oh, I forgot to mention that both Nick and I have skipped breakfast so far. It's just not worth getting dressed up and walking over there for a breakfast which generally is cold when it's not supposed to be.
Another change is that we are allowed one hour of Rec every two weeks. According to what I read in the memo it's every other week (on Fri. for my tier). Some guys think it's every week, but I believe they are mistaken. I'll find out for sure tomorrow.
So far we still aren't allowed to go to the Library, but I am hoping they start that up again soon. A bitch needs to get back to work and start earning some money!!
Medical staff came around today and we were told that it would probably be Jan. before we get the vaccine. I was hoping it would be sooner. This crap will probably drag on till March or April. Ugh.
OK, so I'd like to share something with you about the slime you have to deal with in prison.
Our new cell, Club 89, is three cells from one of the upstairs showers (there's three showers there). There is a large majority of black guys on the top tier and they mostly use and hang around those particular showers. Naturally, they are the filthiest showers.
One day recently I came up from downstairs during our free time to use the bathroom and shower. As I was passing by the showers, none of them were being used.
S0... I used the restroom and gotmy shower stuff together- which took 15 mins. or so give or take- and came out of our cell. There was still no one using the shower.
I decided "what the hell" and went in the preferred shower and started taking off my clothes (all the showers there have half doors, but only one has a curtain for added privacy).
Suddenly, some nasty-ass black guy comes up and starts throwing a fit 'cause I was in the shower that he intended to use. He had a chair by the wall across from (not by) the showers with his shower stuff on it. I actually hadn't noticed it.
These black guys think they have a right to "reserve" a shower by putting a chair on the wall across from the shower, then they go off and do whatever they want- for however long they want- and if you use the empty shower without asking their permission, you are "disrespecting" them.
They love to throw the word "respect" around all the time. However, to them "respect" means that they get to do whatever they want with absolutely no regard or consideration of how that affects others.
And if you don't like it, you're "disrespecting" them.
For the record, this guy made a scene and ended up using another shower.
Another thing that black guys in prison will invariably do is spit in the toilet when they brush their teeth and they will insist that you do the same if you live with one.
WTF? I respond by asking if they spit in the toilet when they're at home. Some are so ingrained in prison life that they reply that they do. I had one guy tell me that he got his kids to spit in the toilet. I thought, 'Oh great, you're just training your kids for when they go to prison.'
I had one black cellie complain that spitting in the sink was "unsanitary." I just thought, 'So, does that mean you rinse your toothbrush in the toilet?'
I've said it before and I'll say it again, the worst part of prison is the people you're forced to be around.
In all fairness, I will say that the "straight-up" white guys are the most hateful group. These are the "Mighty Whities" who don't have screwed up cases (no sex charges or reductions for telling on people). They will even deal with blacks- when they talk shit about you behind their backs- before they will deal with a fag who is white.
In other news, I got my eyes checked at Medical the week we moved to this cell. Fortunately I was able to choose some small, square frames instead of the "Clomo 3000s" (the huge frames which make anyone look like a creep) and I should get them in three months or so.
While I was at Medical, I weighed myself and learned that I have lost seven pounds. Although I'm really skinny and people say I need to gain weight, I could not stand having my belly stick out so much. Not pretty. So, I've been eating less- especially at night- and my stomach is looking better. Thank goodness!
Also... I heard from someone recently that "KP," the thief I wrote about a couple years ago, had died of an overdose. This would not have surprised me, but as it came from someone whom I do not trust, I was skeptical.
I later learned that he did die, but from a work accident, not an OD. ("Someone" was going for dramatic effect).
Sorry, no, I don't feel sad about it- he was a slimeball and a thief. I just thought I'd update you on the latest breaking news.
A personal note to Mimi in England ( and any other readers):
Mimi,
You mentioned something about a university in England near you. I thought you (and other readers) might enjoy reading "The Lost Book of the Trial" by Charlie Lovett.
It's about a professor at a university in England who also studies and helps to preserve old manuscripts from the local cathedral. Throw in a grail legend and a forgotten saint and it makes for a good read. I wouldn't call it "great", but it was an enjoyable story. I just thought I'd pass that on.
Mon. 12/14/20
5:08p
Happy New Moon! It's now been four lunar cycles since Nick and I became cellies, as he showed up on the new moon in August (thank you to Luna Press for my lunar calendar!) I'm currently listening to the "Immortal Megamix: Can You Feel It/Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" by Michael Jackson and The Jacksons on C3PO.
Normally I'd be closing this installment by now, but there's been a bit on news...
One thing I forgot is that last Tuesday when the new lockdown schedule started, my tier was supposed to be out in the morning and the bottom tier in the afternoon. However, the CO screwed up and switched the rotation around starting with breakfast when he let us out first for breakfast and then locked us down and let the other tier out for the morning. Half these COs have shit for brains and we thought we'd get screwed out of two days being out in the afternoon as they normally change the rotation on Sundays. Our regular CO was back on Wednesday and switched things back.
It turns out that my tier did have Rec on Friday. However, they had already locked us in our cell and Nick and I were playing chess, plus he said he didn't feel like going out 'cause he was sore from working out the day before. So, we didn't go. That turned out to be a mistake because it was a really nice day in the 60s and because things have changed since then as will soon be revealed.
Saturday turned out to be a real pain in the butt 'cause I had just started taking a shower when the CO called out a bunch of names, including mine. I had to get out of the shower without finishing (no shave, no shampoo) and found out that we were all to go the Visitor's Room for yet another UA (pee test). Pain in the ass.
It took several of the guys more than an hour before they could pee and all this cut into our free time. By the time we got back it was nearly lunch and we were locked in our cells again.
But that was nothing compared to Sunday.
First off, the rotation normally changes on Sunday but the CO screwed up and let us out in the morning instead (a different CO from Tuesday). At first we were all cussing about this "dumb bitch" who was screwing us out of being out in the afternoon (which is better than the morning rotation)'cause she thought the rotation didn't change till Tuesday. <major eye roll>
Then... I was just getting ready to take my shower- which was screwed up the day before- when, at 9:07A she called "lockdown". WTF? At first we thought, "now this dumb bitch is locking us down an hour before count." We knew something was seriously wrong when they started rolling up food carts a half hour before count (instead of having us walk to Chow Hall).
Yep... we are back to another full fucking lockdown. That last phase didn't even last a full week. We were told that COVID cases were detained in A-South and E-North (the RDAP (drug class) unit). So that means we all got screwed. Fucking awesome.
There's no telling how long this will last. Plus, a guy was recently moved from EN to this unit (RDAP, he either flunked out or finished) and the four man cell he was put in is on double lockdown/quarantine. They put signs on the door, the get fed last, and no one in there can come out till someone decides they're cleared.
It's quite possible I will spend a second Christmas in a row locked in some dumb cell. Just when everyone was seeing a light at the end of the tunnel with a vaccine coming out, we go back on full lockdown.
And... they should have at least let us take quick showers today and they didn't. Screwed again!
Until next time, I wish you...
Love and Blessings,
(illegible signature)
#GONELONGENOUGH