March 22, 2021

Personal Journal 2/24 to 3/9; Love Note; Poetry

by Steve J. Burkett (author's profile)


Personal Journal
2/24/2021 Friday I am lost on the day & date. I looked it up on the t.v. clock - date and I'm still not sure. :) We are off quarantine as of Monday afternoon. I've been going out to see the throat doctor twice a week - I love the rides and the sight-seeing but by the time I get back here in the late afternoon or evening I wore out. The next day my body is sore and wore out :) I just want to close my eyes and rest. I'm in the MAT program - a drug group and have homework to do everyday of course I've fallen behind. I have my job I have to do in this afternoon/evening - the bosses tell me if I'm tired to eat & rest. Yesterday morning we had yard at 9 o'clock I come in at 10:30 to have a bowl of oatmeal and rest. I came in from work at 5:30 and was falling asleep before 6 I still slept in until 5 this morning. I need to shave after my celly gets up in case I go out to see the doctor if not I'm staying in this morning and doing homework for drug group :). I was looking at the new phone charges - they're down to 21 cents a minute - 15 years ago they were more than a dollar a minute. GTL is putting in more phones and they stay full so they're making money. We're also going to be getting tablet in all the California prison by the end of the year courtesy GTL. They will give every inmate a free tablet, load them with a lot of free stuff like ebooks - a lot of E stuff phone & video visits and every 14 days a free 15 min call and a 15 minute video visit. The rest you pay for there's a lot of free stuff and then they have a lot of stuff they'll be selling and they say no kickback to CDC although they will be putting a lot of information on it for CDC groups, school, canteen and other stuff. I've talked about the mail being months behind, now I think it's only one month behind - blame it all on the Covid - most of the mailroom staff out with Covid or having symptoms - they used to put guards in there who were awaiting their
3/1/2021 It is Theresa's birthday on the 15th she is still my good girl my baby since March 15, 1967 always will be It is Monday morning - the sky is filled with dark clouds - the weather person said there would be rain. I believe I'll be going out to see the throat doctor again today - a ride in the rain, I enjoy going out on these rides. I really enjoy riding in the rain even better than walking in the rain this way we won't get wet :) <3: According to a new memo on March 19 the phone rates are going down to 2 1/2 cents a minute, 37 1/2 cents for a 15 minute call. I will start call more :) Now all I need is for that family of mine to send me their phone number. I will start calling my love a lot more <3 I made a mistake earlier trying to read the memo off the wall, they need to put it on the t.v. prison station they have about 20 of them here - (soon to go on the tablet) anyway jay-pay is giving everyone the free tablet - I'm not even sure we'll be able to call on them - too much info for my old mind to process at one time :) they will do e-mails
3/4/2021 Got my blog messages/comments today - dated Feb 13, 2021 7 of them - thank you all for caring and taking the time/singleservice/wangh2020/brislin.J/podgursklima/Zak Kahn/KikitheKiwari/K0w/esthershum. Thank you for taking the time. Also, how are you my love <3 if I'm not out to the hospital again today I'm going to call, at least try. There are so many phone hogs here now it's hard to get a spot - go back on CTQ where they sign us up for calls :) I've already been out and saw two doctors this week, I"m tired. I love the ride sightseeing but, it can wear a body out leg & arm cuffed up all day. :)
3/8/2021 I was able to talk to my love this weekend so I'm feeling good <3
3/9/2021 I rolled out of here in the middle of a word :) <3 I went to Handford to the skin cancer doctor. They put in two spots that were close together. I'm not sure how many stitches more than 20 all together it hurt last night hell it's still hurting this morning - more than any of the out times - might be the place both of them right under the throat I hope this is the last ones - the doctors are going to look over my body again in a couple of weeks. The guards went right downtown of old Handford - all the stores where there is made of think of downtown Sacramento in the late 50s and 60s, and we stop in an old town call Dualtine way off the freeway - I love sightseeing. I"m going to close for now. Everyone take care of themselves. I want to get this in the mail today I think I'll be going out to Stockton for my throat soon. :) :) <3

Love Note
My Dearest Love:
3/9/21 It's a beautiful morning my sweet love but then all morning are beautiful where I am able to open my eyes and gaze upon your beautiful face. I have long ago mapped out our lifelines line of aging together - there are some lines of sorry but the majority are the lines of happiness that surround your eyes and mouth formed by the continued smile on your lips and the laughter you fill my heart with. There are lines of worry and grief that follow the sorry lines on my face. I remember so many nights of us laying in one another arms mapping out each other faces from walks in the rain on 'J' street to floating down the river in an old paddle boat mapping out the stars. When I am cold and tired you have always been there to warm my sinner soul mapping out my heart with the warmth of your touch. Time moves by and I always hold on to these old memories we've shared you have always been the love of my heart.
I'll Always Love You
Forever & Ever
<3 Your Steve <3

I walk around in a daze
lost somewhere within a thick fog
in the middle of my wandering thoughts
I know I got up this morning
only because I'm up now
I'm not sure what day it is
or even what time of day it is
the clocks on the walls of my memories
have not worked in years
my watch has been running slow even longer than that
the calendar said Monday the 18th
the 18th of what month what year
I'm glad you're holding onto my heart
it is only my dreams of you
that will get me back to your door
until then I am walking in a daze
lost somewhere within a thick fog
in the middle of my wondering thoughts 3/7/2021
Steve Burkett


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