THE BIRTH OF A SHAMAN PRIESTES SS

I am walking but it is as if I am floating; although I feel confident in this strange knowledge that has me airborne, I am likewise troubled knowing that I am tethered to no one and nothing with a feeling that I have lost my way and the most utter chilling aloneness has descended upon and within me. A paralyzing biting fear beyond any endurance, gripping my heart seizing my mind and drawing my energies as if I am being deflated.
Every fiber of my being screaming and pleading with me to return... so much doubt and suspicion has crept into my heart, soul and seeped into my throat, snatching my breath. Yet, I am magnetically drawn to this mysterious unpaved road, without signs of directions, stabilizing and dually gratified by the knowledge; that this has to be and that only a few select few has even dared traveled a similar, uncharted spiritual path.
I am conscious that it is only my individual "courage" and "strength" that is and will sustain me. The chilliness of my aloneness aches, yet I do not feel lonely. I can feel myself in many places as the same time. Of course there is much tension in me to return, but the reality of that place is no more since I no longer exist as I was and thus returning is no longer an option. Even as I move drunkedly ahead steadfastly ahead, I feel drained, dizzy, drunk, my heartbeat becomes faint as I grasp for air as if I've reached mountainous heights of thinning air. It is like being stranded alone in the middle of the ocean afloat. Every heartbeat, every breath is seemingly keeping me afloat from drowning in this watery bottomless abyss.
I push forward: Realizing that it is just as far backward as it is forwards. If I am to find truth it is my responsibility; mine and mine alone; coming into my own being is a most painful, agonizing, grotesque death along with my even more agonizing rebirth terrifying and painful. Realizing that I am "MY SAVIOR" and the challenges of my survival is solely mine and mine alone. An individual standing alone is existence highest flowering.

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This reality alone has caused by realization. My breathing seems to be that of the wind. A mysticism knowing without questioning is truly a euphoric, unique experience in the search for truth. It is this revelation/uncovering in simplistic knowing that the end of the road is no different than the beginning merely flipsides of the same...
That I need only search until the fruits of my searching become ripe and the search then manifest itself as futile - and my learning have now become complete teaching. Realizing that uncovering truth is the "truest" form of all births. The finding of my truth has been a death and rebirth. A death of my psychological societal learnt indoctrination and responses; a rebirth/premised solely on my renewed understanding of my life's experiences. A creativity without creating within a creative concept as to what is to be created. Like: a blind person's trust in wherever he is being lead will safely allow them to reach their destination; a doing without a doing, a movement within a rest.
A contradiction, a complete abandonment that is empowering a surrender that will allow a glimpse of the infinite beyond that is victorious.
COMMENTARY(1) Nimarodas, when can we expect other Shaman Priestess to speak and provide our troubled world with insight and vision?"
The true question isn't when will other Shaman Priestess speak? It is when will mankind listen? The understanding of the female is no greater or less than that of the male; we are all in parity. The ideal of comparison doesn't arise. The male and the female are the Yang (Aggressive-Passive) and Yin (Passive-Aggressive) energy of humanity. The healing of humanity in this particular instance need be accomplished be reversing of the pendulum of human behavior from "aggressive-passive" to "passive-aggressive", The Balance of our social, economical, religious and political.
We have simply swung too far with the yang(male-energy) and need to balance it with Yin(female-energy). A relative simple adjustment, yet seemingly unfathomable to mankind to comprehend. We need only trust our inner-wisdom to understand this unalignment, evaluate and make the proper adjustments. The problem is we do not trust existence of which provided us with all we need. Our intelligence and existence is a stabilizing concordance within its discordance.

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The committed "courage" of women today is nearly indispensable in providing insight for the survival of our species in these epidemically troubling times. The true male who has attained, having experienced a glimpse of the beyond will in comfort welcome and understand the reversing of the energies. To rectify our current self-destructive near imminent collapse welcomingly support in understanding to enable mankind to once again regain a harmonious productive prospective.
COMMENTARY(2): "Nimarodas, how do you respond to the charge that women are too superficial, introverts, selfish, self-centered, self-absorbent petty and not interest in anything other than what is as is and not in attainment. That women have no sufficiently evolved to confront their feminine frailties, frivolities and not prepared to sacrifice their feminine privilege's and advantages and thus, not prepared to provide insight and spiritual guidance to mankind.
It is a matter of understanding. You obviously cannot perceive beyond your perception. You cannot hold a blind person responsible for not seeing a lamppost; nor should we hold those responsible who would make these baseline allegations. There are as many enlightened, eveol-evolved women as there are men; existence is not bias and does not discriminate - nor is existence a miser.
You cannot be expected to find something that you do not know exist. To see what is you must at least have sight or be intuitively entuned or on the same wavelength as to what it is you seek or is sought. The present day ills are a results of a lack of maternalism; nurturing and a lack of emphatic understanding of love. Simply-put we are in need of passive-aggressive energy. In this particular case the male energy is simply not entuned into this curing wavelength.
Obviously, a paternal-energy can not resolve an imbalance of a lack of maternal energy. Why this explanation isn't readily understood is that "we" have been dominated by the male-energy from day one since the very beginning - to think otherwise isn't a contemplative thought of necessity. We must rediscover with each generation the balance and workings of our humanity. The lessons learned by one generation are easily forgotten by the next.

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The dominate male-energy is still seeking to solve the cancerous maladies of our decadent world, a relatively simple problem with a aggressive reaction leading us even further away from the solution. The world is in need of a women's solution. Women are needed now more than ever before in history, if we are to reverse the world's misery and suffering. To evolve into a more positive and progressive manner.
COMMENTARY(3): Existence is awesome-personified, alone and a matter of fact. Our existence is receiving-giving, complex, yet simplistic. The sum total of all contradictions in concordance, in a form of multi-dimensional-play and consistency.
An architectural marvel of impossibility defying logic, yet obviously logically premised. The mere awareness of existence incomprehensive infinities seemingly freezes thought, paralyzing and at the same time sustains... who is awaken by it.
Allowing you to "feel" oneness within the whole... even takes you one step into the unknown and two-steps from the known. Its a two for one exchange.
The ideal of attempting to return... become an improbability and those who have appear to have done, have only created a replica of the past within the present.