Greetings,
so, it is March 2nd Day. I don't think I wrote any Parole denial, or at least not in details. So, let’s go back to July 2nd 2024.
My attorney and everyone was confident that I would be Paroled.
But it didn't turn out that way.
The commissioner a lady talked or rather asked me about the crime.
I began by explaining what I've learnt from myself help courses.
That would take one back to my childhood, where without realising it I developed and experienced trauma which led to character defects. Of course I didn't know it then.
I joined a street gang "the Psyco Gang" when I was 11yrs old.
By 12yrs old I was sent to the youth authority where I met older guys that become my mentor and like big brothers to me. From them I learned what was the gang members life style.
As time passed, I developed a warped belief system. And I've lived my entire life with that belief system. By the time I was 18 years old I was so entrenched in that life style that nothing else mattered. I also began using drugs. I was developing many more defects. But I didn't know that’s what they were. The one that was most dominant was violence. I could become violent very fast, soon after I was sent to Prison and a joined a prison gang.
The parole panel asked about the death of John Mendoza and I explained what led to the murder, the Panel didn't believe my account claiming that the witnesses and the court told a different story.
Thay believed that were high on drugs, told a variety of stories that were never presented to the jury, there's taped record - INGS that prove they lied, made up stories. But my attorney wouldn't use the tape at trial.
I told the panel I was there; I am the person that killed John. If anyone knows what actually happened that night it's me. But they said my story don't make sense.
Then they brought up my gang history, which is in the past, I am not a gang member anymore, and haven't been for many years. But they assumed I was actively involved until recently.
I tried to explain explaining this to the panel. But again, they kept going into the past. I haven't been involved any gang activity in over 20 yrs. And it is all in prison file. If they had just reviewed it they'd see it.
I've been in prison a long time, over 40 yrs, and I can't deny that I was a violent person, and left many victims who were rival gang members, most of the time. But that was a long time ago.
I've had some disciplinary infractions here and there for fighting, and for other minor things, but not gang related, and they are not recent, so shouldn't be held as current.
The District attorney then read letters from victims family members, who opposed parole.
While I believe the victim family has all the right to be heard and say whatever they want they must be given that outlet.
I took their father, loved one, and I can't ever change that, or make the loss any easier, even after 40 years. I know that they will feel the pain, that loss, all I can do is keep them in my prayers.
I can't change my past, I can't erase what I was. But I can and have changed who I am today, I have completed a variety of self help courses.
The Parole Board is supposed to determine if an inmate is a current danger to society. And what they relied on to deny parole has nothing to do with that.
The Parole Board said that I think I'm felon, that rules don't apply to me, that they just roll off of me, and I do whatever I like. But where is it that I violated any rules in the past seven years. I've been disciplinary free.
I haven’t used drugs in over 40 years, which was one of the main causes that I committed crimes in the first place.
It is really discouraging when one does all this work, only to have the past used to deny Parole. What about all the good I've done over the past 7 years, not once did they mention any of that, But I will continue to have faith in God