Oct. 14, 2012

Gossip News Satire

by James Terry (author's profile)

Transcription

The Stunion Gossip News Satire

Hot mess Honey Boo Boo's mother receives royalties for "Here I sit all lonely hearted, went to shit but only farted" final season. Death of the Jersey Shores. MTV pulls plug on reality show because of Wendy's law-suit. With Snookie & J-Wow departure The Shore had become a meat-market infringing on "Where's the beef?" slogan. RIP GTL Madge & Lady Gaga flash dance battle escalated to Madonna announcing her next single will be recorded in the nude while in an Ecstasy anal MDNA drug induced coma, caught red-haired & red-handed Lindsey Lohan stole $40,000 worth of merchandise from Kitson then skipped out on $55,000 worth of bills at The Beverly Hills Hilton. Paris & Nickie held a seance promising Conrad's spirit to beat the thieving skank's ass on sight were she to cross their path at Tiffany's on Rodeo Drive. 3 lesbians succumbed in a hot tub toe sucking & kissing one another were forensically misidentified at Scott Disick, Bruce Jenner & Kardashian Kris. Ku Klux Klan & The New Blacker Panthers came together to adopt & clean a highway. No racial slurs of ignorant cracker or nigger were exchanged, leaving the city streets with 2 tons less trash. Some as yet to be identified cock-sucker is going to put on full body armor & continue to perpetuate stereotype of white male mid 20 to 30s profile of serial killer shooting sprees. Fast & Furious to end current cluster, law enforcement & citizens sponsored a call to action initiative. In response The National Rifle Association will hand-out free 100 round drum magazines to AR-15 buyers with 50% discount off full-body armor to extremist militants & disenfranchised cranks who can pass FBI background check. A full-out blitzkrieg rush to arms & gun club memberships occurring due to Armageddon Mayan calendar 2012 end of the world prediction. Historically when there's lightning & showers, reading the Stunion at leisure, God is hysterically laughing and crying. An adorable cute soiled diapered baby is hysterically crying, laughing in The Face of God while biting the tail of a wet nosed puppy. A shirtless Justin Bieber sings while cute wet nosed Carlie Rae Jepsen yells "Call me maybe!" Tweens & Canadians in a hot mess rejoice. Comedians, humourists & friends would appreciate you forwarding them this copy of the Stunion. James Terry 373986, WSPF POB 9900, Boscobel, WI 53805, USA. Share a smile. :) "Baby Baby Baby", "If I Was Your Boyfriend".

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