Reply ID: n4wc

Darling Nicki,

(Isn't that a song by Prince??) Bless Your Heart!! Thank you so very much for your kind & supportive comments. I was a little anxious about how the profile page turned out- it's your first impression, right? I lead people on with some lovely flowers & only later do they realize what a true Bitch I really am! <<WINK>>
Anyway, I love flowers & wish I could plant them in every prison. It can only help, right? I'm glad you have a sense of humor (unlike some people) & are smart enough to realize (ditto) that yes, I was responding to a comment by my best friend, whom I've known since Feb. 1985 & who is more family to me than anyone. I would have nothing at all if it weren't for her. She is the only person who stuck by me & was there when I needed help. I love her very, very much. However, she is a little forgetful sometimes & I didn't find out how the profile page came out until your kind words. I'm also glad that you're smart enough to realize (unlike some people), that "Hey Bitch!" is a common greeting among gay people & is ofter used as a term of endearment. Paris Hilton got it from us. (For the record, my friend isn't gay, but she is Fabulous!)
Thank you again, so very much. <<BIG HUG>>
Queen Bitch

PS- I can't wait until my package comes from the other reader! I hope it gets here before Christmas! Whoo Whoo!!

"He had never had any time for the church and its representatives, since realising that in his absence he had been condemned to hellfire for being born as he was." Louis de Bernieres, 'Corellis's Mandolin'

Dear Readers,
Well, tomorrow will be 2 months that I've been locked up in the Hole based on a lie by a mental case seeking attention. This is such BS. I don't have much to report. After that last cellie left I had a great week & a half alone. I started getting some exercise again (I know this is strange, but I like to exercize at midnight & later while I listen to Coast to Coast). I have started reading "Cold Mountain" by Charles Frazier for the 3rd time. I love that book. Before that I finished "Living to Tell the Tale" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez which, to my surprise, won the Nobel Prize. I thought it was a fairly bland recitation of events in his life. Why the hell hasn't Isabel A Dende won the Nobel? Her writing is like poetry & paints a beautiful picture in your mind. Someone seriously needs to nominate her.
Yesterday I got a new cellie. Usually in a SHU like this, they'll come up & ask you beforehand if you're willing to cell with someone. Apparently they don't give a damn about a Big Fag's opinion. They just brought the guy to the door & told me to cuff up. Period.
I know I'll probably get some nasty comments from this, but if they'd asked I'd probably have said "no" because he's black. I am not entirely racist- I had a friend for 20 years who was black & he was the nicest, most caring person (he died). But, American blacks in prison are the Worst. They're always screaming about "respect." but show absolutely no respect for other people. Most will not read, & will blast their music & scream at their "homies" all day at the door. (I differentiate American blacks from others because black people from other countries don't act like the Americans). They're also usually the first guys to hit on a "fag."
Now, before y'all get your panties in a wad, white guys in prison are usually the hateful & hostile & absolutely HATE fags (more than they hate other races.) In any case, I lucked out 'cause although he does yell at the door some, for the most part this guy seems really nice & respectful & actually reads! Thank goodness. Still, I have been in this cell 3 weeks_tomorrow & should be moved, hopefully to a cell by myself, if I don't get out altogether. I'm still trying to get an answer to that.
11-21-12
Two months today. I didn't realize until late last night that Thanksgiving in tomorrow. I thought about it today, & out of 9 T-givings of being locked up, I have spent 4 of them in the Hole, and not once for any sanction at all. Plus, it's been the last 3 in a row. It appears they didn't have their regular SHU meeting today because of the holiday, which is when they decide whom to let out, & also the staff leads didn't do their weekly walk-thru, so...still no answers. This past Sat.,the 17th, was my Mom's b-day,& this Sat, the 24th is may Dad's (although they were 4 years apart). They're both deceased, & I miss them very much, although I am glad that they died before I brough this shame upon them. I don't have any contact with any other relatives. I'm the youngest of 6 kids (by for- the oldest is 21 yrs. older & the closet in age is 5 3/4 yrs. older). None of them has ever contacted me, for which I am glad, although a sister - in - who, unfortunately, obtained my last address sent a notice for the funeral of one of my sisters. I still don't know what happened. They're all evil. The 2 oldest are the most hateful. My dad died in '93 & when Mom died in 2001, they stuck me & Ken in a motel & not once called or asked us to visit-nothing. For some stupid reason, Mom made Laura (#5) the executor of her will. She refused to send me anything I asked for (mainly the jewelry & other things I bought mom), & it wasn't until 3 years later that I received a protion on the few things I asked for, sent by another sister. I sure didn't want them to have the things I bought her. Although Laura was supposed to sell mom's farm & split the proceeds she let her son live there for free. By this time I had been locked up & had no money & no support. With the kind & generous help of attorney Don Sanders, of Springfield, MO. I was able to sue her to get her to comply with moms will & quit screwing me (& the others) over. I had known Don's wife Beverly since 1981 or '82 & although she refused to help me in any way, he did at no cost to me. Very generous of him. Well, I'm sure you can imagine how suing my sister went over. All of them were spreading lies about me to anyone who would listen as it was. They're always treated me like dirt & my going to prison was just the icing on the cake for all of them. It justified everything for them. I really am evil- see, there's proof of it!
11-25-12
I seriously am cursed. I have no doubt in my mind. I really could use the services of a psychic healer or witch. I was moved to a different cell on Friday. I spent maybe 2 hours alone & then they bring fuckin' Charlene again. I wrote about Charlene previously. She got caught fucking around with her boyfriend, Lose Hughes, who ripped me off, & got out after a week or so. I did Nothink & have spent over 2 months in here. Anyway, it's just like before. Suddenly I don't exist because of some bitch with blue fucking eyebrows who looks like a down. She would be laughed out of any gay bar in the country. It's ridiculous. I heard from my friend Spider, a black guy from Miami, that Charlene owed him some sewing work on his clothes which she had (he was brought to SHU last week & was in the cell beside mine). So, she last the clothes or whatever the last time she came to the Hole. When Spider demanded compensation for his loss, Charlene & Tore, both trash, went to the yard & put hand marks around Charlene's neck & blamed it on Spider to get him thrown in the Hole. Charlene had previously told me that she & Tore planned on coming to the Hole for unrelated reasons so they could be cellies, since they're in separate units. I am CERTAIN that Spider did nothing & they both are screwing him over. I can't stand this bitch (& this time it's not a term of endearment). I pray that she finds another cell to move to ASAP.

Love & Blessings

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