11-19-12

Dear Outside World,
Are men supposed to cry? We live in a society which says men are supposed to be strong, emotionless creatures, and that macho attitude is further perpetuated in prison. When a man first comes to prison, he is told; "Man up, show no fear, and shed no tears." You are to become a prison-being instead of a human-being. You are to become a soul that cries no more.
Prison is a very dehumanizing and demoralizing environment. It's where they transform you from a human-being into a prison-being, and treat zou like an animal in a cage. To characterize a prison-being is living in an environment of dogs, rats, snakes, and lucid pussy cats. Can you imagine that? These are human-beings that I am talking about. They have become living souls that cry no more.
Here recently I did an interview for MSNBC Lock-Up titled "Sticks and Stone," and there was a scene where I was shown crying. Now I'm pretty sure most people -especially prisoners watching that scene of the crying- probably thought I was being a big wuss. That after ten (10) years of being confined in a windowless cell twenty-three (23) hours a day, that I was just happy for prison officials releasing me off isolation unit after such a long time. But what they did know was that I was rejoicing in the fact that I did not allow the negative environment of the lock up unit to dehumanize me. The fact that I could be man enough to cry went to confirm that I was not dead inside. My tears and my fears don't comprimise my strength. I'm strong but human!
I would advise men, especially men in prison not to be afraid to cry. Because the tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives. Don't be a soul that cries no more.
Peace inside,
Christopher Trotter